Huzzah! Just in time for a rising Jesus simile on this Wednesday after Easter, news broke today that antiquated game show Family Feud is returning to television in a shiny new form. Because the world has stopped caring about real people, the latest incarnation of the Feud won’t cull contestants from unknown backwaters like Tucson and Tuscaloosa, but sinful pits like Los Angeles, Burbank and other suburbs of Los Angeles. That’s right: CELEBRITY Family Feud. Producers are reportedly already attempting to get the Baldwin brothers and the Lohans to appear and bicker.

Excited? Don’t be. They will build it, but celebrities will not come. As you may know, game shows often make fools of their contestants and no agent worth his multiple cars is going to let his uneducated celebrity clients scream nonsense at a scoreboard for the enjoyment of the common man. That’s what sports are for.

After the jump, one of the most painful incidents of game show humiliation ever, and a good example of why this show will fail.