Champagne Budget, Beer Can

Hey, you guys, look at this funny hat!!”

An association of Italian winegrowers is upset that one of their products, Prosecco, is being tainted by the unwholesome image of Paris Hilton.

Hilton, as you may recall, is the spokeswoman for Rich Prosecco, an Austrian version of the sparkling white tipple.

“Hilton hotels are a sign of quality; Paris Hilton is not,” said Fulvio Brunetta, president of the wine growers association of Treviso, the northern Italian city in the Veneto region where Prosecco is made.

Brunetta et al worry that the boozy heiress and Rich Prosecco are giving the wine “the image of a cheap fruit drink.” They instead want the bubbly returned to its highbrow status as the main ingredient of Bellinis, the daiquiri for the woman too rich to chastise her husband for cheating.


Jan 10, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 40 Responses
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Tagged: Alcohol · Paris Hilton
Comments (40)

No. 1 Mr. T says:

Paris cheapen Italian wine? That’s hot!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm
No. 2 jujubees says:

i don’t see how anything could cheapen something as classy as canned wine.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 2:51 pm
No. 3 Kitchy says:

Yeah, wouldn’t you think the best way to maintain a “highbrow status” would be to… not use a CAN??

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:30 pm
No. 4 Lisa(#1) says:

Sidenote, now that j_b is back, where in hell is Evil Twin?

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:38 pm
No. 5 Kitchy says:

Yeah dammit. Evil!!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:40 pm
No. 6 Lisa(#1) says:

I mean do we need to start fucking role call? In the name of Rumple McForeskin Magee!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:41 pm
No. 7 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

The only reason they don’t put it in a box is because some idiot would try to drink the whole thing and the resulting hangover would be so bad that they would have to be hospitalised for dehydration from puking so much and not even a whole bottle of OxyContin could get rid of the blinding headache.
I think they should put it in long necks next. And sell it by the case at the 7/11.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:41 pm
No. 8 Kitchy says:

They could do a juice-box type thing. 6-pack!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:42 pm
No. 9 Lisa(#1) says:

Too bubbly, I think Juje. But wine! That should def come in juice boxes.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:45 pm
No. 10 janice says:

They should just sell it, pre-packaged, in funnels.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:45 pm
No. 11 jujubees says:

yeah but then it would spill out the mouth of the funnel. We really need a better packaging strategy so we can start selling our alcohol for our religion. I think everyone should get a six pack when they walk in.

Obviously that means we’ll have to have a cover charge for church. We should also have a ladies night whereRumple McForeskin Magee signs their wine boxes. Just throwing ideas out there hags.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:55 pm
No. 12 Lisa(#1) says:

How about those big novelty cups like you buy at theme parks. The top can be a bust of Rumple McForeskin Magee.

Also, is it Magee or McGee? I keep changing up because I don’t know

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 3:58 pm
No. 13 jujubees says:

Me either. Let’s have an official ruling. Magee sounds more country and McGee sounds more Irish. Is he from the south or is he like Will Ferrell Colin Farrell?

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:02 pm
No. 14 jujubees says:

No., that did not come out right at all. Damn speed fingers. Is he like Will Ferrell or Colin ferrell?

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:03 pm
No. 15 janice says:

What about McGhee? Just throwing it out there. I like silent letters.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:20 pm
No. 16 jujubees says:

I likey. It’s mysterious. You see the h but you don’t say it. It’s like when someones name is Sandy but they spell it, Sandii. Or, Sandee. This is a conversation best had with wings and some beer.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm
No. 17 jujubees says:

Can you tell it’s almost Friday and someone needs a drink?

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm
No. 18 janice says:

Drinkey! I’m going to work… hopefully I can get my slosh on in the kitchen or something. Nah, that never happens. Oh well. I get to watch others get drunk… maybe I’ll absorb some drunkie by osmosis.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:26 pm
No. 19 jujubees says:

A contact drunk. That’s way less work and cheaper too.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:30 pm
No. 20 Helen Skor says:

Prosecco is actually really good. It’s served on tap in a lot of places in Italy (I think mostly in the North). But the whole canning thing is Austria’s idea, not Italy’s. I think that’s why the Italian wine snobs are so up in arms about it.

I’m starting my weekend tonight . . . Jack & Ginger’s anyone? Work should be a blast tomorrow!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:33 pm
No. 21 jujubees says:

I like your style Helen. Only lazy people wait till Friday.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:38 pm
No. 22 Lily the Pink says:

I vote for Rumple Foreskin McGhee. It’s a little Scots, a little Irish, has the allure of the silent letter, and rolls off the tongue.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:50 pm
No. 23 jujubees says:

Who knew he was so, braveheart?

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 4:56 pm
No. 24 Lily the Pink says:

Because I was bored this afternoon, I give you my version of Rumple

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:00 pm
No. 25 Lily the Pink says:

jujubees, would he be our mascot if he weren’t willing to step up, show his arse and beat the crap out of someone?

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:03 pm
No. 26 jujubees says:

I’m sorry. I needed a moment to get my emotions under control. That was just so beautiful. You captured his inner beauty. He is the wind beneath our wings.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:07 pm
No. 27 Lisa(#1) says:

Lily: that was amazing. Thank you so much for your gift to us and the world at large. Rumple be praised!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:13 pm
No. 28 jujubees says:

It’s the eye of the mole rat
It’s the thrill of the fight
Risin up to the challenge of the mole rat
and the last known mole rat stalks his prey in the night
and he’s watchin us all in the eye of the mole rat

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:17 pm
No. 29 Kitchy says:

I still don’t see evil twin.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:21 pm
No. 30 jujubees says:

I hopeRumple McForeskin Maghee can bring her back. Run, fast as the wind. He did a great job getting James back, bring us forth ET.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 5:29 pm
No. 31 champers says:

ugh… it’s not wine.

Prosecco is Italian SPARKLING wine. In other words, CHAMPAGNE! Anything not from the Champagne region of France must be called sparkling wine. so this new stuff is like the Coppola product “Sofia”, which also comes in a small can with a pink straw attached. not exactly revolutionary.

sorry. I’m done. :)

p.s.: …although Paris Hilton DOES make an excellent drinking game.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 6:25 pm
No. 32 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Served on tap. Wow. That classes it up. “Do you have any Krug On tap?” Even Cava doesn’t stoop to such levels.
And it is a wine, since it is made from grapes. Prosecco is a grape. But no, it’s not Champagne, since it does not originate from that region with it’s particular soil and climate and certain standards of drinkability to uphold. Although Aste Spumante and Muscato are much worse than Prosecco. But that’s like saying Budweiser is worse than Miller and Coors.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 9:34 pm
No. 33 queencrone says:

It’s all alcohol to me.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 9:38 pm
No. 34 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

WooHoo QC! Now it’s a party!

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 9:43 pm
No. 35 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

I know. Damn wine edjumacation. But, being that I have already been labeled a music snob (and I graciously accept that honour) by certain parties on this here website, I am not a wine snob. I will down a $13.99 magnum bottle of Gabbiano Chianti with take-out pizza, while watching IFC on a Saturday night. With the help of my husband of course.

Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 9:52 pm
No. 36 jujubees says:

I don’t know why people have to be so snobby. Cheap alcohol works just as well. I’d hate to be a cheap bottle of wine near fancy wine. Cheap wine has feelings too. But I hate all wine equally. I’m more of a mixed drinks kind of girl. If you can put a paper umbrella in it, I’ll take two. Just call me, girl drink drunk. I’ll have a chocolate choo choo.

Posted: Jan 11, 2008 at 9:29 am
No. 37 Lily the Pink says:

juju, you have to be snobby, otherwise if you become an alcoholic the only difference between you and the homless guy sleeping in the park is the urine smell and the home, and the urine smell difference isn’t guaranteed.

Posted: Jan 11, 2008 at 9:47 am
No. 38 jujubees says:

I have all my own teeth so that also is a big difference. Can Amy Winehouse say the same? She’s my barometer of shame.

Posted: Jan 11, 2008 at 10:04 am
No. 39 queencrone says:

You have to think about: what is your goal at this point in time?

Do I want something exquisite and earth shattering? Personally, I will have a shot of the nicest smokey scotch that I know of,
Laphroaig. That is if I am, for example, celebrating or feeling on top of the world.

Or is it that I need to blow off some steam and unwind and get lost in that wonderful libatious delerium that cheap alcohol can privide?

Smoking is a whole other case that I won’t go into today.

(This is what happens when I don’t get laid regularly.)

Posted: Jan 12, 2008 at 5:06 pm
No. 40 queencrone says:

And on a healthy note, selenium, vitamin c, beets
broccoli, and a bunch of other stuff all are good for promoting liver health.
And plenty of water.

Posted: Jan 12, 2008 at 5:33 pm
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