Many Blood Sucking Parasites

Self-loathing, gay Idaho Senator Larry Craig lied to Matt Lauer and, indeed, the nation in a recent interview, insisting once again that he is not a gay man nor a bisexual man. His broken wife fervently parroted his deceptions, at one point even interrupting Lauer before he had even asked a question to proclaim that her husband’s travel on the date in question was nothing out of the ordinary: “Like every weekend. Very routine. That’s exactly what happens every week.” But, duh, of course it happened every week. How else would Larry have gotten the releases necessary to not murder his wife and all the forgotten dreams of Broadway glory she represents?


Oct 17, 2007 · Link · 44 Responses
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Comments (44)

No. 1 janice says:

Larry: I go into a bathroom stall to use a bathroom stall… as a locus for covert homosexual activity.

Wife: Just like every weekend, Matt. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Matt: You’re glib.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:01 pm
No. 2 jujubees says:

Everyone holds up a cold glass of Tom-Ba. For when you need to prove your totally straight and never pay giggalo’s to wrestle with you. Drink Tom-Ba and it never happened.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:16 pm
No. 3 Be Adequite says:

I feel bad for his wife. I don’t think I could stay with someone if they were risking my own health that way…naaaaah eff it, TOM-BA everyone!!!

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:19 pm
No. 4 deimos says:

oh you know his wife is fringing some other dude also.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:24 pm
No. 5 seyour says:

All that denial. Do they think we’re stupid or what? How do they manage to not choke on their own tongues?

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:25 pm
No. 6 Be Adequite says:

Deimos- do you think so? Why wouldn’t she just boot him then? People are so weird. Then again I’m not married so what do I know…. LOOK IT UP!!! :-)

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:28 pm
No. 7 jujubees says:

Can’t anybody tap dance in the john anymore? It’s not his fault he chose the exact moment of a sting operation to do his rendition of, All That Jazz.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:28 pm
No. 8 deimos says:

she likes to have her cake and eat it to.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:30 pm
No. 9 deimos says:

by the way that saying is stupid, it just fit here.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:30 pm
No. 10 james_boston says:

i saw the interview and i honestly belive that his wife believes him. i felt bad for her…she’s not living in the state of idaho…she’s living in a state called denial (bam! there’s another commie in my pocket next week!!)

larry on the other hand…please! i mean, really! just look at his face…major “gayface” alert!! he looks like an evil old queen (though i was talking to my mom’s on the phone during the interview last night…she apparently thinks mr. craig is “handsome”. yeeech!)

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:31 pm
No. 11 Be Adequite says:

You’re probably right…mmmmm cake

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:32 pm
No. 12 Be Adequite says:

handsome…noooo….So j_b explain gayface please– I mean it’s obvious with the likes of Gayken, Efron, Clooney, and Pitt….but what are the telltale signs

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:34 pm
No. 13 deimos says:

fringe! now i want cake!

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:35 pm
No. 14 janice says:

Cake! Fringe! Fringecake!

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:37 pm
No. 15 jujubees says:

I want cake now too but I’m not allowed to drive for another week. Who wants to bring me some cake? One for me and one for the senators wife.

Oh BeA, you need to take James’ gayface class for, girls who dated gay boys in high school. It was an Oprha light bulb moment in my life.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:38 pm
No. 16 jujubees says:

mmmmmmmmm, fringe cake.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:39 pm
No. 17 janice says:

Oooooh, that would be helpful. Two of my exes are currently known to have cruised the gay scene. I think my gaydar is backwards.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:40 pm
No. 18 james_boston says:

urban dictionary about explains it, albeit in an insulting way. it’s right for the most part though…but i would definitely focus on the eyes . there’s some kind of flirtatious twinkle, something effete, even in the eye of a dried up old fruit like craig.

and clooney and pitt are not gay. not even a little bit. i only wish pitt was!!!

1. gay face
107 up, 9 down

Gay men do not differ from straight men in the size and shape of any facial feature. Rather, the use of certain expressions can become ingrained in the musculature of the face over time. Since effeminate gay men utilize similar facial expressions as women, they develop female aging and muscle contraction patterns in their face. For example, gay face includes tightness around the mouth from pursing the lips, a facial expression common to gay men and women - but not to heterosexual men. Also, gay men are more emotionally expressive, leading to a general ???tightness??? and muscular activation through out the entire face. Gay face includes an eye expression that is both surprised looking and predatory. Eyebrows are usually arched higher than that of straight men, and eyebrow hair is manicured. There is often a slightly tan and/or leathery look to the skin, especially among older gay men. Lesbians also have a version of gay face that emulates the facial muscular usage patterns straight men. They exhibit an under expression of emotion, relaxed brows, relaxed eyes, and less taut mouth and cheek muscles than straight women. The skin is usually pale and splotchy.

“I could tell he was gay from 50 feet away. His gay face was pretty severe.” And “It’s amazing Liberace could get away saying he was straight with that severe of a gay face - not to mention the sequined costumes”
tags: wizened withered facelift gay looking queeny
by gaybutnotinmyface chicago Jul 4, 2006 email it

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:41 pm
No. 19 Be Adequite says:

I love that one of the tags is wizened…Yeah Craig’s got gayface then…I think Clooney plays both ways

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:50 pm
No. 20 jujubees says:

So like when you tell your man your puppy died and he’s all, oh that’s so sad but you can tell looking at his face, he’s not even listening. I think that’s straight man face.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:52 pm
No. 21 james_boston says:

yeah juju…a gay dude would immediately start crying upon hearing about the puppy. then he would plan a fabulous funeral for the poor thing involving lots of pink frills and bedazzling.

i feel like crying now about your imaginary puppy.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:55 pm
No. 22 Sugar Magnolia says:

I want to get Larry a t-shirt that says:

I am not gay! My boyfriend told me so!

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 12:58 pm
No. 23 jujubees says:

It’s ok, bj, he’s now a nice capletter that Evil Twin made for me.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 1:01 pm
No. 24 jujubees says:

By the by, ET, can I now have that cape with some fringe. Fringe is all the rage.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 1:01 pm
No. 25 james_boston says:

all this gay talk…and that ad up top advertising the gay site “real jock”…when u coming out cord? it’s getting old already!!

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 1:02 pm
No. 26 jujubees says:

I saw that ad somewhere recently, where was it? Like in a store. I think it may have been at, condoms to go?

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 1:08 pm
No. 27 KofT says:

Be Adequite, she may stay because she likes the status and power that being married to a politician brings her; a lot of women will overlook/tolerate just about anything to stay married to someone with power.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 1:09 pm
No. 28 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Hell…everybody knows he’s gay. What I came away with was that not only does Mitt Romney hate people with handicaps, would rather see see someone suffer excruciating pain than allow them medicinal marijuana, but he also hates Gays and turns his back on friends in their time of need. Great guy there…and rumour has it he’s going to be the next President of the USA. That’s way more disturbing than some suburbanite queen who can’t embrace his sexual orientation…they’re a dime a dozen.
Oh, I do feel sorry for Larry Boy’s poor medicated wife, who has been putting up with these “allegations” for 30 years. Stand by your man… I suppose…

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 1:18 pm
No. 29 james_boston says:

the guy who outed craig years before the broadcast media picked up on it, mike rogers, has reported on about all the times craig has been identified in the bus station terminal at washington d.c. having sex with different dudes. blogactive is a good site for all the closeted religious right hypocrites who troll for gay sex…he’s been right every time so far. he id’d mark foley long before anyone else did also…next up is apparently lindsay graham, right-wing senator from south carolina (major gayface alert there!) and perhaps mitch mcconnell (also known as ms. mcconnell), senate minority leader and all around right-wing loon from kansas or kentucky…one of those (rolleyes) states. apparently ms. mcconnell was discharged from the army for fondling another man in the shower…there is some dispute as to whether it’s because he’s gay or he was trying to get out of going to vietnam. apparently engaging in brazen homosexual behavior to get out of the army was a much used trick by lots of straight dudes during the vietnam war.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:05 pm
No. 30 S a v v y Me says:

Ok I have a really dumb question. When guys go into public restrooms are there often men having sex there? The way everyone talks it sounds so common, but I mean, I never see folks in the women’s room gettin it on.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:24 pm
No. 31 james_boston says:

not all bathrooms but there are always some notorious bathrooms and/or parks in every city and town, especially in conservative areas where closeted and married men may not have the option to go to a bar.

i’m sure this doesn’t go on with women. but certain bathroom stalls in men’s rooms have a hole, called a glory hole, which is cut out in the middle so that a man can stick his, uh, appendage in it to get it serviced by someone in the next stall. you women just ain’t equipped to get down like that in bathrooms.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:35 pm
No. 32 jujubees says:

WEll, if they don’t care about putting down the seat or flushing what do they care about pee stains on the knees.

One of my high school friends (the only one I didn’t try to date) would tell me he always got hit on the most at the gym. At pretty much every gym he’d ever been to.

I had no clue. Come on guys, try a nice clean dressing room. No poo stains in the dressing room.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:42 pm
No. 33 pp says:

That is what is refered to being on the down low correct?

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:54 pm
No. 34 james_boston says:

i’m not saying i’ve ever gotten down in bathrooms juju (:D) but i’m a clean freak…i’ve known about and been in bathrooms back in college that people got down in and they were pretty clean…no poo stains. i can’t see most gay dudes getting down in real filthy bathrooms…now your “straight” husbands going in there to blow each other may be a different story. if your husband keeps coming home with a penis that smells funny and poo stains on his knees and/or under his shoes, check for gayface immediately!

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:54 pm
No. 35 pp says:

Smells funny how? Like Juicy Fruit,peppermint or spearmint?

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:56 pm
No. 36 S a v v y Me says:

This thread is very enlightening. I will now harass my boyfriend for details every time he leaves a public restroom.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 2:59 pm
No. 37 jujubees says:

That penis smells way fruity for my taste. That cornhole better not smell like drakkar.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
No. 38 james_boston says:

LOL…like dried saliva funny. you know the smell…you’ve gone down on your man and it smells funny after a while…not horrible just funny.

watch out is all i’m saying. we gays think everyone’s gay anyway and we’re gonna try and find out. if your man is cute that is…if he looks like the donald, no worries.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
No. 39 james_boston says:

if i may interrupt for a second…check out the olay ad on top. it has what’s-her-face from ANTM…you know the one that was super “i’m black and proud”. nice to see those girls get actual work…

anyway…back to bathroom sex…

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:07 pm
No. 40 S a v v y Me says:

I have some crappy at&t ad….

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:13 pm
No. 41 jujubees says:

I don’t see Olay, but I do see the Ortho ads. If that’s the same ad. That’s for the pill. You know, for the girls with a uterus and no fancy pussy pocket. So they don’t get sperminated.

I can never tell but occasionally I forget what cycle model I may be looking at. They are all clones of the previous cycle.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:14 pm
No. 42 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

I used to go to clubs on “Gay Night” with some of my friends, usually gay guys and straight girls (so we could dance till we dropped without being bothered) and all I have to say is, if you were a girl, you better be prepared to “hold it” until you hit the all night diner afterwards, because both bathrooms had all stalls “in use.” Good times…good times…

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:26 pm
No. 43 jujubees says:

hahahaahah. I can never hold it. I’d have to run in and ask if anyone minded if a girlfriend pissed really quick? Or, the alley. What, you’ve never pee’d in a strange alley?

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm
No. 44 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Oh I’d pee in a strange alley (especially after a few shots of vodka) before I would in one of those tore up bathroom stalls. I know the clean up crew took the power washer to those things afterwards.

Posted: Oct 17, 2007 at 3:48 pm
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