Insufferable

Gwyneth Paltrow's newest project, GOOP, sounded terrible from the beginning; however, our fearless leader, David Hauslaib, valiantly signed up for the advice-dispensing newsletter. The verdict: "It's insufferable."

This month's inspiration is devoted to natural ways to improve your life, like sleeping. "Sleep eight hours or more each night," the newsletter advises. "Do what you have to do to get to sleep; there are plenty of natural agents that work." Yes, because the reason most Americans aren't sleeping is because they have bad cases of insomnia. It has nothing to do with the fact that everyone is too darn busy to catch eight full hours of sleep. Thanks, Gwyn!

Click here for the full GOOP October newsletter and prepare to be enlightened.

[Source]

Oct 30, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 21 Responses
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Comments (21)

No. 1 BmoreKate says:

I'll bet she's super-fun to hang out with.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 1:44 pm
No. 2 sar says:

Such a phone-in.

If you need three separate doctors to tell you that sleep is good and processed sugar is bad, you are the exception. The rest of us are pretty clear on the basics.

And no one is going to convince me that tryptophan can "work just as well as prescription agents without the risks." Uh, I'll stick with my a m b i e n. So preachy! I can only imagine the suffering she put her father through.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm
No. 3 Helen Skor says:

What they fail to mention is that most of us can neither afford the money or time involved in living this way. I'm sorry, but I don't have doctors in London, New York, and LA. I work 50-60 hours a week, so the last thing I want to do when I leave the office is go to Whole Foods and spend $30 on some weeds and seeds for my dinner.

Limit my alcohol intake? No thank you!

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm
No. 4 Helen Skor says:

sar, watch out for that Ambien. That stuff will do crazy things to you. I've known four people who have taken it with any sort of regularity, and they've all had experiences that were so terrifying that they immediately stopped taking it. (Night terrors, sleep walking, sleep eating, violent rampages, etc.)

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:13 pm
No. 5 cooter says:

"Sleep eight hours or more each night," the newsletter advises. "Do what you have to do to get to sleep; there are plenty of natural agents that work." Yes, because the reason most Americans aren't sleeping is because they have bad cases of insomnia.

Maybe we (I) cant sleep because we (I) dont know how we're going to make ends meet an be able to afford our alcohol and next big mac.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm
No. 6 Stoney says:

Hair that amazing should never be wasted growing on the head of a pretentious cunt like Gwyneth Paltrow.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm
No. 7 sar says:

Don't worry Helen, I've been taking it for a couple years and I know exactly how it affects me - I have learned to revel in the side effects. ;-)

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:22 pm
No. 8 Stoney says:

That's what Heath Ledger said.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:24 pm
No. 9 Be Adequite! says:

Sar- does it make you feel drunk? I took it for a month and had to stop (I don't drink anymore- Ambien felt just like a nice, calm, drunken state for me).

I love that Gwennie tells us to "police our thoughts" in her newsletter- WTF does that mean

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm
No. 10 sar says:

Come on now. I don't even take a whole pill every night.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm
No. 11 Stoney says:

Still. Be very careful you don't take it with alcohol. You could die for reals.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm
No. 12 sar says:

Don't worry. I don't take it if I've had any real alcohol (I don't count half a glass of box wine).

I've never done anything like drive or get angry on it - I remain self-aware. I just do harmless loopy stuff for an hour til I fall asleep. And I can remember 95% of what I do on Ambien, which is actually better odds than my memory of what I do in an average day. :)

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:45 pm
No. 13 sar says:

And yeah, Be A, it's a lot like that for me too. really calming. Call me reliant or whatever but I kind of look forward to my ambien hour. lol

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 2:47 pm
No. 14 kittenpaw says:

I get 8 hours of sleep a night and I still feel like shit the next day. What's that about?

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 3:05 pm
No. 15 sar says:

Not enough macrobiotics, kitten.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 3:07 pm
No. 16 Birdofparadox says:

"Hair that amazing should never be wasted growing on the head of a pretentious cunt like Gwyneth Paltrow."

Stoney, that's the best comment ever!

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 3:35 pm
No. 17 St. SeaKat says:

Sorry, my infant. Mommy can't nurse you right now. Go make yourself some formula. But don't heat it — raw foods are so much better.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 3:40 pm
No. 18 rumour has it says:

Wow, I had to stop reading the newsletter because it's such crap.

I think my dad should write a newsletter and here's why:
- he's 68
- still has all his luxurious hair
- has more energy than I do or my brothers do
- is still building additions onto our family home (such as having enclosed the sundeck last year and turned it into a new room and is building a new sundeck)
- still jas about the same waist size as when he was in his 20s.
- enjoys a meditteranean diet which includes alcohol and white foods
- takes a nap from 6pm - 8pm and then goes to bed at 11pm and wakes up at like 4 or 5am
- officially retired when he was 65, but went back to work anyways

I think he may not be my father because the man has so much energy and is so fit and I have neither of those things.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 4:32 pm
No. 19 Helen Skor says:

I wonder how terrible it must be for Gwyneth to know that the whole world thinks her mom is way cooler than she is.

By the way, is anyone else getting the Acai Berry ad at the bottom with the before and after pictures? disturbing.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 4:32 pm
No. 20 blah says:

I don't want Gweneth's GOOP on me. Thanks.

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 6:41 pm
No. 21 Dr. House says:

Try being a med student, the only reason doctors marry other doctors is because they are the only ones sleep-deprived enough to think they are attractive

Posted: Oct 30, 2008 at 7:40 pm
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