Oh my, well hello Uncle Johnny. I think I just proved Cord's point.

The hair is very, 21 Jump Street and I think I'm having on of those weird goosebump moments. I only thought they happened to other people.

I'm sorry, was someone speaking?

thank you cord. i didn't read one word on that cover even though you pointed out that there were to many of them, uncle johnny has that power over people.

Is this an early Christmas present or what? What a lovely little snack on this dreary afternoon. :) Cord really knows how to make his hags happy.

Changing my panties now ;-)

Now if only we could get some Bale and Reynolds.

you can tell johnny wants us, just look at the way he's loving us with his eyes.

scratch that beard Johnny…go on SCRATCH IT!!!

can we have some reynolds cord? can we? please? a pic of you would work if you can't find a good one of reymolds.

Are there any pictures of Reynolds that aren't good??

He's really the only man who can make a leather cuff look hot.

I think I'm having a hot flash or something.

no, no there isn't. i think i need to go watch van wilder tonight.

What if Johnny and Ryan were in a movie together. One where they had to take off their shirts and have some kind of fight in the rain? That would be good for America. Do it for America.

it'd be better if they were shirtless for the entire movie, they could call it "battle of the shirtless wonders"..i would pay 20 bucks for a ticket to see that movie.

And Canada.

He's undressing me with his eyes. Stop it, Johnny, my kids will be here any minute.

Can I get a mop? Clean up on aisle three! Clean up on aisle three!

Reynolds is very versatile…there's angry Ryan:

http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue417/george2.jpg

thoughtful, bearded Ryan:
http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp.....ynolds.jpg

and happy Ryan:

http://img91.imageshack.us/img.....ds2mx5.jpg

Y'all know he loves me, right? That whole "relationship" and "having kids" thing is just a cover to protect me from the media crush.

Aww… a pretty little pink and purple unicorn has walked into my office.

:)

yum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my personal favorite, shirtless homicidal Ryan:

http://homeboynet.files.wordpr.....ynolds.jpg

Thanks Be A. I love that one.

Sug, unlike our Bunnie, I think Johnny really loves us all. Say hi to that unicorn for me.

I like it deimos. There's some kind of apocolyptic explosion that destroys all of earths shirts.

I'm writing the script for Shirtless, Dark and Swarthy: Electric Boogaloo 3, right now. It's gonna star Depp, Bale, and Reynolds. Script is kind of light but so far we've got chocolate pudding, a 9-iron, and some ice cubes

gross. not my type, not at all.

BeA… maybe some sort of hot oil / shirtless / carwash thing?? Just tossing it out there.

his pants are a little high wasted? not to be picky, but that bothers me on guys.

i think they should be digging some sort of hole causing them to become dirty shirtless wonders.

Can Beckham have a cameo in SDS: Electric Boogaloo 3?

Can we work in a cage fight? Also I think Spencer should be in the movie. Along with a dancing/singing Heidi. They will be eaten by angry ferrets before the cage fight. I'm smelling, Oscar.

Johnny….I'm actually drooling at my desk….thanks Cord

Also, this is my favorite Reynolds shirtless photo:
http://news.softpedia.com/imag.....dent-2.jpg

I love me a nice chained up shirtless hottie

It suddenly feels like Christmas.

I'd hooker myself out around the glob for this man.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go
Take a look at the Johnny Depp
Hotness in every step…

juju you are crackin me up…ferrets and cage fighting, WATCH THE FARK OUT SCORCESE!!!!

I want to make movies for me but also for everyone else. I'm like the Donald Trump of movies.

I watch lots of movies so I understand what should be in movies. Watching movies therefore makes me an expert in making movies.

jujubees makes the most wonderfullest, classiest, gold-plated movies the world has ever known. True story.

It's true. And then I wrap them all in velvet and use my fancy bow I got of that Cruise/Holmes Christmas card.

*off

Oh… and somehow, they need to go undercover aqs Chippendale dancers. Before the cage fight or after… makes no difference.

aqs = as

During the cage right gets my vote.

Shit, fucking typo Friday over here.

They need to get in pillow fights and dress as construction workers too…maria I'll ask Justin Timberlake if he's avail, is he more your type ;-)

I'm worried we're a little too close to turning them into the Village People.

Can't they just be naked the whole movie?

Yes, let's get this back on track people. And by back on track I mean back on the party train. Yes, this movie needs a party train.

OMG, Evil, noooo. I love Johnny and Ryan. But I do not need to see their chutes.

Not the chutes, just the buns and the funs. Oh, and the guns.

I think we're all gonna win an Oscar.

So there's a midget that wrangles these ferrets together

(thank you cord!)

What will I wear? Who will I sleep with? And then which blogger will write about and post the pictures of me getting in a fight with Britney? I'm going to rip those extensions right out of her greasy head.

And after Depp's true love's face is chewed off by the ferrets (I'm thinking Alba would be perfect for that role), he sets out to exact revenge, with his two perpetually shirtless and buff sidekicks, Bale and Reynolds.

And Posh will be at the premiere because of Beckham's cameo. Maybe she'll let me borrow one of her Hermes bags?

I figure I can talk Reynolds into letting me be his premiere/Oscar date. Right? And we'll be carried up the red carpet on a purple elephant next to SM on her pink unicorn.

That's moving BeA. Her last words will be, "I want to remember you like this always. Never put your shirt on again".

Then she chokes on her own blood and dies.

it would have to be a midget, they're the only ones low enough to the ground to catch ferrets.

Kitchy, I bet juju can bedazzle out saddles for us too! PERFECT!

juju can bedazzle anything

I can bedazzle a bedazzle. Wrap your mind around that shit.

I'm gonna have to have a coctail on that last one.

Just so you all know, Johnny and I have been in love for like a really long time. So don't think he's going to leave me for you.

Beth, you are obviously the last to know that Johnny has already left you for the rest of us. He is just not a one-woman man.

Johnny can bedazzle me any day. I can share, Beth.

I have nipples, juju. Can you bedazzle me?

Silly Beth. Go sit in the corner with Maria.

Silly Bethie! Johnny's for hags.

Awww, Johnny's looking good there, but come on- that's the magic of Photoshop. He's about as haggard looking as Britney right now, dontcha think? Sexy, yes, but when I see him on TV, I just imagine that he must smell kinda stale.

lale… bite your tongue or you'll need to go in the corner with Beth & Maria!

Since I'm probably one of the oldest hags on the site I get first crack at Johnny.

And I propose that anyone who was not alive in 1987, should not be allowed to drool over MY Johnny.

The unicorn agrees!

I was 13 in 1987, so I can make Johnny my drool bucket then, according to SM.

I was 19 in 1987 so I think I get the drool 6-pack.

In 1987 I was…young. But not too young to be totally illegal. Let's just say Strawberry Shortcake and I were on the outs.

You know, my oldest son could be allowed to drool over Johnny according to these rules. Barely.

87, I had just discovered Madonna and was fast on the track to slutville. Johnny was by no means my first crush. That honor goes to Leif Garret. But he was the first crushed I realized you could do more with a boy than hold hands. mmmmmeeeemories.

my first was Slash, I'm still pretty proud of that one.
Kitchy is your eldest married, perchance? Does HE like bedazzlers???

Was 21 Jump Street on yet, or was that '89? In any event, I did have a crush on Johnny since Nightmare on Elm Street and that was like '84, so that should again put me in reasonable proximity to Mr. Depp.

No, he's waiting longer than his parents did. *lol*

My first crush was Donnie Osmond, I believe.

Shut up.

And you made fun of me for The Dooch?

That's ok, I had Donnie and Marie dolls and I made them kiss and stuff. I suppose I shouldn't have been watching soaps at the tender age of four.

Also LOVED Michael Hutchence…had a thing for long dark curly hair I guess…

Me too. I watched that Need You Tonight video like it was porn.

Never Tear Us Apart just killed me…still does.

In the pink and purple outfits?

That went back to Donnie and Marie, by the way, not INXS. As far as I know, Michael Hutchence never wore pink and purple tulle.

YES! They're probably still in my mom's attic.

Re: Michael Hutchence in pink and purple…there was that one time when we were…Never mind, he made me promise to never tell.

I'm having a terrible time recalling other childhood crushes.

Do you mean THESE ensembles??? I totally had these dolls, Donny was my stand-in Ken for Barbies

http://991.com/newGallery/Donn.....335529.jpg

I had totally forgotten that boys had completely plastic hair on dolls.

Yes, those are the dolls I was speaking of. And Donnie used to have hot times with my Charlie's Angels dolls, especially Farrah and her white jumpsuit.

evil, i think it's ok to tattle on m.hutch. death by autoerotic asphyxiation = no shame. he won't mind.

STM, don't you mean…MURDER???!!!! Duh-duh-duh.

I take my secrets to the grave. You'll just have to use your imagination, stm.

I think it is weird or (?) that while I love this man with all my heart, one of my daughters discovered him all on her own and has a poster of him on the ceiling over her bed. Yeah, she sleeps under Johnny every night. Why didn't I think of that?

I'd like to litterally sleep under him every night too!

Do you think that would bother my husband?

No, no,I think that is a great idea. Just tell your husband that you can just try it for a while and if he is uncomfortable, you'll be more than happy to take it down. Actually, a lot of men never notice stuff like home decorating. Maybe you can try to just put it up and see if he notices first. Then just tell him that it is in style and all the neighbors are doing it.

I want to put a Johnny collage all over my bedroom ceiling. But that might gross out my daughter who loves him. She needs to hurry up and graduate from college and get a job, and get her own place. I need my privacy.

You're right he probably wouldnt even notice….if he does I'll tell him its a mirror, he's just seeing himself up there. Ho-hum

And yes that would freak your daughter out for sure. For some reason I have a lot of friends right now with young daughters that are saying they need to move out. They are about to kill them. Whats up with that?

HOT! HOT! HOT!

Yeah, good plan, tell him it's a mirror!! (Cooter I know that you sound like a cutie, I'll bet he is too.) :-)

What gets me going is that most of these children of mine are adult folks that live in my house and I still have to do any cleaning. I can't wait 'til they all have their own places and I am going to go to their house and use a whole bunch of dishes, and leave them in the sink. Especially milk residue in a tall glass. (that crap is hard to reach.)

Mostly though, with the young girls starting around 16 or 17, they can't stand their mom and think they can run a home and their life better. And I am just the big resident idiot. Thank goodness they out grow that.

Okay, I am really loving the fact that I have a house full, to be perfectly honest. I think I would get lonely otherwise.

You're too kind qc.

You need to give those kids a swift kick in the butt. I was a troubled teen so I know. I always tell my sister that teenagers are like little aliens.
They dont think like normal people. Hormones raging and all that.

And I love your last line.

DAMN!!!! Well, I had to stop and look…and look again…and then just stop. He looks HOT!

Oh cooter you are exactly right on about the hormones wackiness. Little aliens, bwahhhahh! (as in, "who Are you, child? In what universe did you think THAT would be o.k. young lady/man?")
I love it! I bet your sister really loves having you there for her.

He's so sexy.

People say that my boyfriend looks like him, well they either say Jonhy Depp or Mike Meyers (the guy from waynes world not the killer).

I hope I spelled everyones names right.

I love that tattoo. Am I the only one that noticed that first?

That's a wide swath, Jen#2.

People tell me I look like Jennifer Lopez and then I punch them the fuck in the face. Assholes. Why do the holidays make me so angry. Only Johnny can soothe my soul. And if there was an official cake day.

I can't believe I missed this on Friday. On the upside, I got to to see it today after watching Batman Begins this weekend.

I love all his rings. Skulls are the new black & all…

BALE!

Damn JuJu, I always enjoy your face references. Punch them in the face, chew there face off, I cant remember any more but there have been several.

How best to hurt someone than to ruin their center of fierceness. No face, no FIERCE! I'm bedazzling that on a t shirt, stat.