Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

whitandcord

On occasion (usually after the 27th e-mail of the day about Britney Spears eating a burger weighs down my inbox and my heart) I get very depressed and short of breath. It's as if Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan's dad are gathering on my chest and restricting my breathing. I lean back in my chair and relax my arms and inhale deeply and the feeling subsides, but the e-mails never stop. Sometimes wine makes me feel better (but only sometimes).

I need help. Whitney is here to help. She'll be joining me at Mollygood from now on in order to loosen the site – and me – up a bit. I'm going to continue lead editing, but I'll now also be regularly contributing to Mollygood's sister site Stereohyped.

I hope you'll continue visiting Mollygood and I honestly think you'll appreciate Whitney's presence. Her writing is different from mine, but different is often good, and I think it's about time this place got back a touch of estrogen. Plus, many of you have already enjoyed her work, which was posted sneakily to gauge response.

After the jump, Whitney's introduction. Enjoy.

My name's Whitney, and I will be joining Cord here at Mollygood. You may have already read some of my writing over at Jossip or in Talk of the Tabs.

I was born and raised in Texas and then relocated to New York City as quickly as possible. I consider myself a permanent tourist and my fellow coworkers are often amused by my sheer happiness over the tiniest of things — like running up to Ray J and taking a picture of his eye (my camera phone was accidentally on zoom) because he's a celebrity. (OK, maybe not a "celebrity," but some people have heard of him. And that's enough for me.) I have been obsessed with pop culture for years, and hopefully my love can balance out Cord's disgust for all things celebrity.

I watch far too much reality television and have an unhealthy obsession with my cat. Add that to the fact that I work for a blog, and you have a crazy cat lady in the making. But I have friends! I promise.

After reading the slew of comments on the site, I am well aware that everyone loves Cord. (So do I!) Hopefully you all can find room in your hearts for me, and we can embark on this Britney- and Lindsay-filled adventure together.

Jan 24, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 221 Responses
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  • Comments (221)

    No. 1 deimos says:

    i'm sad to see you go cord, i really am. welcome whitney, i hope we don't drive you crazy. hit cord in the arm and tell him that if doesn't grace us with his snarkiness every now and again we will be very disappointed in him. congrats to you cord, i wish you the best.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 3:50 pm
    No. 2 maria says:

    what's with all the double posting?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 3:50 pm
    No. 3 Sugar Magnolia says:

    I'll miss you Cord. *sniffle*

    Whitney… will you promise to post a pic of Cord every now and again? (Even if it is just his eye.) I have a feeling you'll hang with the hags just fine.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 3:55 pm
    No. 4 deimos says:

    p.s. good job on getting rid of the face fuzz cord, it didn't suit you.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 3:56 pm
    No. 5 Blue Canary says:

    So, um, Whitney. Can you get us our Recent Comments back?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 3:58 pm
    No. 6 cooter says:

    Bye Cord we'll miss giving you shit.

    Whitney, welcome to hags 101.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 3:59 pm
    No. 7 Blue Canary says:

    Oh, and what color is your box?

    I meant the comment box, for you pervies out there.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:00 pm
    No. 8 cooter says:

    And is it bedazzled?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:01 pm
    No. 9 deimos says:

    yes whitney, you must have a bedazzled box of color to enter, it's on the sign. :)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:02 pm
    No. 10 deimos says:

    also, will you be besting us? we love a good best.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:03 pm
    No. 11 Lily the Pink says:

    Welcome, Whitney. I'm sorry to see you go, Cord. The thing that initially attracted me to this blog was your sarcastic critique of celebrity culture. Of course, I stayed for the hags, but your cynical outlook raised this site above other celebrity oriented sites which tend to be "Oh my gosh she's so great!" or just silly and catty. You presented it all with an intelligent voice, and that voice will be missed.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:03 pm
    No. 12 Blue Canary says:

    Cord, I was just on the Stereohyped site and noticed you're not getting an introduction a la Whitney.

    Are you sure you want to leave? I think you are probably more appreciated here at Molly.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:06 pm
    No. 13 james_boston says:

    oh man! so cord won't be posting pics of himself regularly anymore? what am i gonna jack off to?

    best,
    james

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:07 pm
    No. 14 deimos says:

    do we still get commies? if we don't that might be a deal breaker.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:07 pm
    No. 15 deimos says:

    it's that talk that got him to leave in the first place james. homewrecker!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:09 pm
    No. 16 Bodhi says:

    Welcome!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:10 pm
    No. 17 Lily the Pink says:

    JB, You'll always have Sean Paul. Which reminds me, I saw an older Sean Paul video (sans braids) and OK, now I can see it.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:11 pm
    No. 18 maria says:

    Re: my previous comment

    It's all good now! Welcome Whitey! Or whatever your name is…

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:22 pm
    No. 19 james_boston says:

    what deimos, cord thinks i can't harass him over at stereohyped? perhaps you forget, like cord, i'm half black so i can by law log on to stereohyped. you just need 1/8th of a drop in you to qualify.

    and lily…i think sean is so much hotter with the braids but as ju would say, whateveh…

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:23 pm
    No. 20 mae says:

    I don't like change. Hmph.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:26 pm
    No. 21 Lily the Pink says:

    james: *rolls eyes* whatev. sometimes a girl need something to grab on to.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:27 pm
    No. 22 MyOpinionCountsToo says:

    And how about someone haiku??? Oh, this is slightly unsetteling, change…we are changing, can't take change. Just kidding, welcome Whitney! Cord, I will be reading you on Stereo, I like that website, plus homegirl who edits it is a UVA alumna! Yeah baby, yeah!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:28 pm
    No. 23 MyOpinionCountsToo says:

    Woops, that's "unsettling", sorry!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:29 pm
    No. 24 james_boston says:

    whitney doesn't look like she's gonna tolerate our bullshit the way poor cord does. i see lots of catfights pending…

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:35 pm
    No. 25 Blue Canary says:

    Did everyone else just get a geeked out page that said Wordpress couldn't connect to the MySQL server all over? Not like a separate page, but alll over this one.

    Hey David Hauslaib—DUDE, your server sucks. Please get a new one!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:38 pm
    No. 26 james_boston says:

    yeah blue…i've been getting that off and on all day. their sister site queerty got a makeover and i think that has completely fucked everything up. more than usual i mean. i couldn't even log on to mollygood when i first got to work this morning. i was so bored i actually worked.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:43 pm
    No. 27 Blue Canary says:

    I love that when I posted that last comment, I got a new page that said the server was down. Irony?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:43 pm
    No. 28 GoodGolly says:

    Cord isn't leaving, you HAGS! Whitney is just JOINING him (and "loosening" him up - ow ow!!!)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:50 pm
    No. 29 lovelee says:

    so yeah ahm Cord Im totally gonna miss you.
    Don't go please, please don't go. Is it because of something we said? Is it because of "that"?
    Hi Whitney, welcome! Forgive me if I don't sound enthusiastic, I'll come around. im gonna go bawl my eyes out over Cord leaving.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 4:55 pm
    No. 30 cooter says:

    OH Lovelee, I bet you're on to something with "that".

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    No. 31 Kim'smyrealname says:

    Welcome, I like you

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    No. 32 Lisa(#1) says:

    Whitney - welcome! Ray J had an "alleged" porn tape, so OF COURSE he's a celeb! Is your cat's name Ms. Pickles or Crinkles or Chairman Meow?

    Cord, you cunt. Sure you are saying you need a break or "loosening up" or whatever - but we all know what this means. You're breaking up with us. I never liked you much anyways.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:08 pm
    No. 33 lovelee says:

    Oh Cord why? why? why? It couldn't be "that" cooter. it just can't be. Oh Cord please send down one of your pink box to comfort us

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:08 pm
    No. 34 cooter says:

    Cord, its not us….right??????? Its you.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:10 pm
    No. 35 deimos says:

    he won't even give us a pink box goodbye. i cry inside cord, i cry inside.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    No. 36 lovelee says:

    I can't believe he's breaking up with us. I just can't believe it. Its a frigging nightmare

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    No. 37 james_boston says:

    am i the only one creeped out by Kim'smyrealname's "welcome, i like you"? weird…if i was whitney, i'd hire bodyguards.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    No. 38 admittedlyaddicted says:

    So here's what I deduce from this…

    First, we got sneakily lied to. Second, Cord's PRETENDING he'll stick around "some" but he won't. They never do. Third, well I don't really have one. But the potential demise of the Commies doesn't set well with me.

    Good thing j_b is back…I might not could handle this otherwise.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:14 pm
    No. 39 admittedlyaddicted says:

    Oh yeah, Hi Whitney…I'm sure we'll get along fine. Maybe. (heh heh)Depends on your tolerance of Denise15.

    And Cord, you look HOT in that pic. Thanks, at least, for "that".

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm
    No. 40 Lisa(#1) says:

    I know Adad: he's been sneaking around on us with Sterohyped, and THEN, insult to injury, it is like he got his twin brother to go on a date with us while he was off with his new mistress! FOR SHAME!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm
    No. 41 admittedlyaddicted says:

    I must be in a bubble, because if I wasn't I might have seen this coming. I'm sorry I ever busted yours, because Cord busted mine and it made me spill my rum. Party foul, bubble foul - just plain FOUL.

    Do you think it was the assing? I wonder when his affair started…

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:17 pm
    No. 42 lovelee says:

    james I averted my eyes and scrolled quickly pass that comment, she freaks me out and im not even whitney

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm
    No. 43 Lisa(#1) says:

    You do look good here, Cord, and you seem to be smiling. That taunting twinkle in your eye, barely concealing how glad you are to be free of this weight that has kept you teathered to gossip for so long. It is just like you to leave looking so good, just to rub it in. I hate you and your freedom.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    No. 44 cooter says:

    Thats how it always starts

    first they lie

    then they sneak around behind your back (they tell you they are going to Vegas) dont worry baby

    then you start getting little hints like a pic of the back of another girl in a bar

    then they say things like "I need a little break"

    fuck you cord! Look what you've done to us!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    No. 45 admittedlyaddicted says:

    agreed - creepy.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    No. 46 lovelee says:

    we're gonna be like jessica simpson Cord we won't ALLOW you to break up with us

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    No. 47 Lisa(#1) says:

    (_._)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:20 pm
    No. 48 lovelee says:

    should we kill him in his face?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:21 pm
    No. 49 admittedlyaddicted says:

    Cooter…you hit the nail on the head. I can't lie, that kind of brutal honesty stung.

    Oh yeah, I thought of something else. I partially hate Whitney because of this statement: " was born and raised in Texas and then relocated to New York City as quickly as possible." What you got against Texas?! :)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:22 pm
    No. 50 Lisa(#1) says:

    Whatever. We have a new blogfriend now. One with a real name, not something you tie up bundles of newspaper with. Plus she is totally hot. Way better looking than our ex.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:24 pm
    No. 51 cooter says:

    I make take too many ambien tonight.

    Live with that Cord.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:24 pm
    No. 52 jujubees says:

    This is so like my dating days. No, I'll call you, I PROMISE. Would I lie to you? I mean, we just spent the greatest 10 minutes together ever. And then Cord is going to try and sleep with my best friend. Great, GREAT!!!!!!!

    We need to have Commies or something just as good. It's all about getting our names in lights or being able to mock the tourists. Can we have Whitney fill out some kind of questionnaire?

    Bale, Reynolds, or, Pitt?
    Salad or Chocolate Fudge Cake?
    Beer or Long Island Ice Tea?
    Vanilla Ice or Ice Cube?
    Biggie or Tupak?
    Paris or Lindsay?
    Paris or Nicole?
    Project Runway or Survivor?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:25 pm
    No. 53 james_boston says:

    girls, maybe kim's japanese. if she's japanese and doesn't have a handle on the language then what she said is really cute. otherwise, someone call homeland security, stat!

    as for cord, you know he's reading all our comments and loving all the attention but he won't come say a proper goodbye. 'cause he's a 'ho. a sexy attention 'ho.

    cord, girl, you ain't all that!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:26 pm
    No. 54 ilnazhad says:

    My heart plummeted at first, but then I realized I can get my Cord dosage on Stereohyped.
    And, Whitney, I obviously didn't consider you when I thought Cord was irreplaceable.
    Seriously, where does Hauslaid find all of gnarly kids?
    It's Hauslib that is irreplaceable.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:29 pm
    No. 55 Lisa(#1) says:

    Anyone else creeped out by the barely visible dude and Jermaine Jackson in the background?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:30 pm
    No. 56 lovelee says:

    Juju you have to ask about the color box she'll be using. The box color is important. shit now that frigging color pink is gonna remind me of Cord. :'(

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:30 pm
    No. 57 jujubees says:

    2 things make me love her already. She too takes pictures of peoples body parts instead of their whole face. DAMN YOU ZOOM BUTTON! And also, she wants to go on a Lindsay adventure with us. Cord never wants to do that. Oh yeah,

    Waffles or Pancakes?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:30 pm
    No. 58 james_boston says:

    i'm pretty sure that's not jermain jackson (or his son jer-majesty). and barely-visible-dude is cute.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:32 pm
    No. 59 jujubees says:

    What the hell? Is that Tony Orland back there?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:32 pm
    No. 60 chelsea says:

    out with the old in with the new

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:32 pm
    No. 61 jujubees says:

    Oh, that's a bad name. He needs to enter our new program for re education and name changing.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:32 pm
    No. 62 Lisa(#1) says:

    "time this place got back a touch of estrogen."??!!! I THINK HE IS CALLING US ALL UGLY BARREN SHREWS!!!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:33 pm
    No. 63 Be Adequite says:

    You hags farking crack me up. Welcome Whitney and Cord…please continue to post nice pics of you in Vegas. Was it something I said?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:34 pm
    No. 64 james_boston says:

    i think that's freddie jackson!

    lord, is this gonna go on for 300 comments?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:34 pm
    No. 65 admittedlyaddicted says:

    I like how you think Lisa! On that (much better) note - I'm outta here!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:34 pm
    No. 66 Lisa(#1) says:

    Oh, it is totally El Debarge!!

    And James, I think that is Melissa Ethridge.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:35 pm
    No. 67 deimos says:

    you can come say hi whitney, we don't bite. bitting is rumple's job. :)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:35 pm
    No. 68 james_boston says:

    bye AA!

    that is not debarge!! that is totally billy dee williams' skinny younger brother!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:38 pm
    No. 69 jujubees says:

    I'm pretty sure that it's that mambo #5 guy. Post 69, if i time it just right.

    Don't leave AA!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:39 pm
    No. 70 Lily the Pink says:

    Here's my concern, and it's a major concern. While Whitney looks very nice, and I too aspire to be a crazy cat lady, she looks like she could be chipper. Chipper scares me. You know where you are with cynical bastard who hates everyone and everything. Chipper smiles a toothy grin until it's on top of that bell tower taking pot shots at anyone in firing range.

    These means either she has a general sweet look about her and those looks are deceiving, or we're going to have to break her and fast.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:44 pm
    No. 71 lovelee says:

    I gotta leave guys and Im gonna go home and bemoan that Cord is leaving me and Im pretty sure my mom's gonna ask who's Cord I didn't know you had a new boyfreind. my reply no no he's from Molly and she'll be thinking this girl has gone off her rockers.
    (sigh)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:45 pm
    No. 72 whitney says:

    Hi everyone! Thanks for the warm welcome, although I'd like to point out that Cord isn't leaving! I promise. He's just adopting me into the family.

    As for the survey…
    Pitt (sans Angelina)
    Chocolate fudge cake
    Long Islands … used to be my drink of choice til I moved here and realized they cost $30
    Ice Cube
    Tupac
    Lindsay
    Nicole
    Project Runway
    Pancakes (specifically chocolate chip pancakes)

    Did I answer all those correctly? I hope so.

    P.S. I love Texas! I just meant I always wanted to live in NYC for a bit, so I moved up here as quickly as I could. Still love the Lone Star State though.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm
    No. 73 jujubees says:

    So your saying that you don't think a Lindsay adventure wouldn't involve a car chase and drive by mocking? Because that's what I had in mind.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm
    No. 74 lovelee says:

    You have to get a different color box whitney and will we still have commies?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:49 pm
    No. 75 jujubees says:

    Ahhhhhhh ha. You got everything right but question 1. It's a trick question. It's all of them. I too love the great Lonestar State but sometimes an NYC escape would be good too. Plus, now everyone thinks we all see UFO's out here. It was just that one crazy town.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:51 pm
    No. 76 deimos says:

    i'm going to go home and drown my sorrows with alot of beer. you broke my heart cord, you were the only reason i started coming to this site. i'm sure whitney will do a wonderful job but i won't be sure until she bests somebody or shows us what color her box is.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:51 pm
    No. 77 cooter says:

    Ok. Shes's cool.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:51 pm
    No. 78 whitney says:

    I need to ask David for a special colored box. If for some reason Cord leaves, I will continue on in the commie tradition. Don't worry.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:53 pm
    No. 79 deimos says:

    you're cool whitney! might i suggest a purple box? purple rocks.

    p.s. can we get some shirtless pictures of ryan reynolds please?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:54 pm
    No. 80 cooter says:

    YIPPIE!!!!!!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:57 pm
    No. 81 lovelee says:

    yeah what deimos said. We'll ask Rumple about the box color.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:58 pm
    No. 82 Lisa(#1) says:

    Cord says he isn't leaving, but we all know how that will play out. Whatever, he is soooooo 2007.

    Yeah, Whitney, you need a pink box. Or maybe green? Green would be fun!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:58 pm
    No. 83 lovelee says:

    no pink lisa, no pink will only remind me of Cord

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 5:59 pm
    No. 84 jujubees says:

    Purple box, purple box. I only wanted to see you posting in your purple box. Please excuse my Prince obsession. That's Prince before he became a symbol.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:04 pm
    No. 85 Lily the Pink says:

    Alright, the Ice Cube abd Tupac won me over…unless she asked Cord for the right answer. You didn't, did you, Whitney? *Questioning school marm look*

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:04 pm
    No. 86 Lily the Pink says:

    "and"

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:06 pm
    No. 87 Lisa(#1) says:

    I just thought of something Hags. If Whitney lives in Williamsburg - I am not losing a blogger, I am gaining another person to stalk on the L!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:09 pm
    No. 88 lale says:

    Should I start a "Save Cord" petition, or is the guy who was previously on Molly's side gonna do it?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:11 pm
    No. 89 ilnazhad says:

    Okay, she totally is sweet. She actually took the time to answer that survey.. Shit, that almost compensated for the fact that you enjoy reality TV.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:13 pm
    No. 90 Lisa(#1) says:

    Vive la Whitney-lucion!

    Whitney's great in 2008!

    I am just trying out some slogans.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:15 pm
    No. 91 queencrone says:

    Cord will miss us.

    I like Whitney already.

    I think I will have two beers tonight instead of
    my customary one beer. One beer to toast to Cord and his new adventures. And the other beer to toast a warm welcome to Whitney.

    I may, however, veer a little off topic, as I sometimes do when I have had a beer. (If I get any computer time when I get home, that is.)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:16 pm
    No. 92 Be Adequite says:

    Whitney, are you familiar with the drink, Tom-ba???

    I LOVE TUPAC TOO!!! Represent.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:20 pm
    No. 93 jujubees says:

    Hooollllaaaa! You can't go wrong with Tupac. But question number 1 was a trick question. All hags know the answer is, all of them.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:36 pm
    No. 94 Lily the Pink says:

    juju: Very true, or puffing up with righteous indignation because you are being asked to choose. That's like asking a Catholic if they prefer The Father, The Son, or The Holy Ghost.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:44 pm
    No. 95 mae says:

    I think the only thing we can do is get rumpy after Cord's arse.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm
    No. 96 Lisa(#1) says:

    I also would have accepted beer. It can be tasty and is comparitively cheeeeeeeeap! A Hag knows to be thrify with her dubloons and pieces of eight.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:50 pm
    No. 97 mae says:

    I wonder how long she's been living in NYC. If it hasn't been long, it'll be no time until NYC breaks her and climbing the bell tower taking pot shots.

    I wait with bated breath.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:53 pm
    No. 98 mae says:

    Beer is good. Nobody over the age of 20 should drink Long island iced teas.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:54 pm
    No. 99 Be Adequite says:

    All of them, at once, or separately, with chocolate sauce, Juju

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 6:55 pm
    No. 100 EsquaredMom says:

    Aww, sad to see Cord is leaving. I think you hags all drove him to it! And welcome, Whitney! Shirtless Bale or Reynolds pictures are always useful bribes.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:04 pm
    No. 101 mae says:

    If she can find shirtless Bale AND shirtless Reynods oil wrestling, I'm sold.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:05 pm
    No. 102 mae says:

    Photoshop if need be. Cut and paste! CUT AND PASTE!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:05 pm
    No. 104 jujubees says:

    BeA, duh, all of the above. I just need to decide which one first? Oh no. This is as hard as trying to decide weather to choose the Waffle House or IHOP?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:17 pm
    No. 105 Lily the Pink says:

    Lisa(#1): What kind of beer? That's important to me.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:21 pm
    No. 106 Lisa(#1) says:

    The darker the better! In the summer, a nice wheat in the afternoon. I miss the days when I could get Harpoon on tap. Never anything with Light in the title. And PBR, the Beast or Shitz if you are so drunk you can't taste anymore.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:29 pm
    No. 107 Lindsay (not Lohan) says:

    Welcome, Whitney!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 7:40 pm
    No. 108 chelsea says:

    SOME ONE COULD DIE FROM DIABETES WITH ALL THIS SWEETNESS ,

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:03 pm
    No. 109 minerals says:

    Welcome Whitney, hope you take your vitamins and minerals, and no Scientology please.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:05 pm
    No. 110 cooter says:

    YOU ARE RIGHT MISS CHELSEA

    WE WILL STOP….ONLY IF YOU STOP YELLING!

    SOME OF US ARE OLD
    SOME OF US ARE DRUNK
    SOME OF US ARE HIGH
    SOME OF US ARE HUNGOVER
    SOME OF US ARE GOING TO MISS OUR RESDENT SMARTASS AND ARE TRYING TO BE NICE

    TRY IT SOMETIME.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:13 pm
    No. 111 chelsea says:

    THATS A FRIST.FOR YOU BEING NICE THAT IS.
    you must be getting old

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:18 pm
    No. 112 Lily the Pink says:

    Chelsea:

    SOME COULD DIE FROM ANOREXIA, BUT YOU DON'T BITCH ABOUT THAT

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:19 pm
    No. 113 Lily the Pink says:

    Lisa: I love a good nut brown ale. Newcastle Brown is probably my favorite. Now I want a beer.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:20 pm
    No. 114 chelsea says:

    no sugar

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:23 pm
    No. 115 cooter says:

    I usually know better than to get into it with you Chelsea but tonight I've had a few, so fuck it.

    I've tried to be nice to you, I've given you a chance. But there is just nobody home in there. Are you human?.You're like a fucking anorexic robot. If you would try a little harder to become personable it would be appreciated. You need help. You're obviously here for a reason.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:31 pm
    No. 116 chelsea says:

    thats more like it cooter . the one we know and love

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:33 pm
    No. 117 jujubees says:

    WHAT DID YOU SAY COOTER? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, CAN YOU MAKE THOSE CAPS EXTRA BOLD? I'M OLD, BITCHES.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:36 pm
    No. 118 mae says:

    I quite like the taste of PBR (and Lonestar and High Life) its my beer of choice. If I'm feeling fancy I'll drink La Fin DuMonde if I can get it. If not its PBR or bust.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:37 pm
    No. 119 mae says:

    cooter, this shot of jack is for you.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:38 pm
    No. 120 cooter says:

    CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?????

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:38 pm
    No. 121 mae says:

    NO, NOT YET.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:38 pm
    No. 122 cooter says:

    Thanks Mae! Just what I need.

    My heart…my heart! I may be stroking out.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:39 pm
    No. 123 jujubees says:

    WHAT? All I have are these wine coolers? Why the hell did I buy wine coolers? Oh yeah, they were on sale and they were mojito flavored. BTW, it's not as good as a real mojito. YES I BOUGHT WINE COOLERS, DON'T JUDGE ME.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:42 pm
    No. 124 mae says:

    Chelsea, way to be faux anorexic. Who the heck wants to be faux anorexic? *rolls eyes*

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:42 pm
    No. 125 mae says:

    juju, I am putting my white wig on and judging you. Wine coolers would be okay if they were "Jamacian me crazy" flavoured by Bartles & James™

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:43 pm
    No. 126 jujubees says:

    They were 2 4 packs for 6.50. Our town only can sell beer and wine. And they only had crappy beer. I was desperate. I have to drive to Dallas if I want the good stuff. You're right, I'm so ashamed. I'm going to drink another one while I cry.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:50 pm
    No. 127 jujubees says:

    By the by, did anyone mention the time we like our Commies©? If it gets to late we get a little crazy.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:53 pm
    No. 128 jujubees says:

    I'm the queencrone tonight. I'm all up in here posting to myself. I'm getting really pissed off at all the Target commercials. There's one every 3 minutes.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 8:59 pm
    No. 129 cooter says:

    JUJU, JACK DANIELS COUNTRY COCTAILS ARE GOOD TOO.

    I also live in a partially dry county. It sucks.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 9:01 pm
    No. 130 cooter says:

    I'm right there with qc alot of times.

    And please send a memo to Whitney. I'd say by 5.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 9:02 pm
    No. 131 Lily the Pink says:

    mae: they call them "wannarexics"

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 9:08 pm
    No. 132 katebeez says:

    can u link some of whitneys previous entries?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 9:29 pm
    No. 133 mae says:

    wannarexics, loves it!!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 9:47 pm
    No. 134 MyOpinionCountsToo says:

    How about Chimay? It has a crazy-high alcohol content, that's how I pick my beers!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:00 pm
    No. 135 blah says:

    You need to get some Sparks. It's the trashiest of the trashy. It's like orange soda. It's got alcohol and caffiene in it. Truly heinous. I love it…and it comes in a big 24 oz can.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:11 pm
    No. 136 Lisa(#1) says:

    Chimay is delicious. Also lambic. Yummers. And Juje, I have been known to drink a wine cooler, maybe two. Past that I get diabeetus. I am a sucker for a good porter. Mmmmmm. Beeers.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:13 pm
    No. 137 jujubees says:

    I'll have to look out for, as you say, Chimay. Is it a little more palatable than Mad Dog? I'm not saying it has to be 100% better but I'd like to think I'm a little more refined now.

    I could be wanarexic too if not for the fact I can't keep anything out of my piehole. Mmmmmmmm, pie hole.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:17 pm
    No. 138 Lily the Pink says:

    juju: You can't stop putting things in your pie hole. Your 3 year old's self-esteem would plummet. Her trips to Starbucks are all she has. Toddlers need jobs so they feel useful and enough exercise to make nap time worth it.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:24 pm
    No. 139 queencrone says:

    Hi hags. I've had the two beers that I said I would in honor of recent events. I am ready now.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:42 pm
    No. 140 queencrone says:

    They were two 40 ounce beers. King Cobra. That shit is 6 % alcohol.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:43 pm
    No. 141 queencrone says:

    I am so sorry that I tend to veer off topic from time to time.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:44 pm
    No. 142 queencrone says:

    It is fun commenting to yourself, because their is no one to argue or give you a hard time.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:46 pm
    No. 143 queencrone says:

    I want to adress the favorite beer comments. My first favorite is any free beer what ever brand.

    Next, I seem to be partial to natural ice at the moment. But if there is a party feeling in the air, king cobra or steele reserve is great.

    Coors. Millers or what ever. I do love that Newcastle too. One of the house guests here last weekend brought this nice peach tasting beer, Piramid? But frankly, beer is like coffee to me, I like the regular stuff.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:50 pm
    No. 144 queencrone says:

    Let me just say, winecoolers are respectable. Don't say anything bad about them. I like Zimas too, for sitting by the pool.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:54 pm
    No. 145 queencrone says:

    Well, I miss you guys. Cooter and Jujubees especially.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:55 pm
    No. 146 queencrone says:

    I hope we will still get bested. You know it is true that the ex best is the best of the bests.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:09 pm
    No. 147 janice says:

    QC, I just cracked a beer in your honour.

    And Cord and Whitney, another, for my homies.
    *pours beer on the ground for Cord, chugs rest for Whitney*

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:14 pm
    No. 148 queencrone says:

    Yes!! Janice!! I was padding my way to bed, and I swear I heard that beer top pop. And the sssshhhh.
    I had to come back and see for myself.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:21 pm
    No. 149 janice says:

    Mmmmm… it's Moosehead. The little beer that could.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:22 pm
    No. 150 queencrone says:

    Moosehead, nice flavor. Good choice.

    ( By the way…I blame John Mayer for this recent turn of events.)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:26 pm
    No. 151 cooter says:

    What up qc? God knows my bed is calling "cooter" "cooter"

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:27 pm
    No. 152 janice says:

    I blame Jessica Simpson, but only because I feel like it's right to blame her for everything. But I think that could also include blaming John Mayer, by association.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:29 pm
    No. 153 cooter says:

    Oh and I drank a fifth of jack in your honor.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:29 pm
    No. 154 janice says:

    Also, Whitney, I would like to suggest an orange box. It's springy and citrusy.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:30 pm
    No. 155 cooter says:

    I am so down with orange Janice, I like it.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:31 pm
    No. 156 janice says:

    The only problem is, nothing rhymes with orange. Orange, borange, chorange… mallorange. But I guess rhymability could be optional.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:33 pm
    No. 157 queencrone says:

    Orange is so fresh and healthy. Hi cooter!!!

    The bed has a strong pull. I almost named my oldest child Jack Daniel Crone. But then it was a girl.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:34 pm
    No. 158 queencrone says:

    What did you chase that 5th with?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:35 pm
    No. 159 cooter says:

    Hey Janice how are you?

    My computer is slow as shit tonight.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:36 pm
    No. 160 janice says:

    Hmmm… I work nights, so this is like 8 o'clock for me. On the other hand, I am watching "My Boss' Daughter" with Ashton Kutcher and Tara Reid, so I am drinking to prevent insanity.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm
    No. 161 cooter says:

    Diet coke!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm
    No. 162 janice says:

    Haha, cooter, I'm so awake I'm watching My Boss' Daughter. Shoot me in the brain.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm
    No. 163 cooter says:

    Boring Janice. (the movie)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:39 pm
    No. 164 janice says:

    No kidding cooter!! It's making me homicidal. I'm hoping it will be like theatrical Ambien.

    PS… I can't actually believe Cord broke up with us. I hope Whitney gets hazard pay for signing on.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:40 pm
    No. 165 cooter says:

    I'm really drunk and my husband had to go to bed…for his"job" what a pussy.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:40 pm
    No. 166 cooter says:

    I'm actually a little sad about Cord leaving with his sarcasm. He understood us.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:41 pm
    No. 167 queencrone says:

    Good chaser. Regular coke is too sweet for me.

    I haven't seen Boss' daughter.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:41 pm
    No. 168 cooter says:

    Dont qc, it will make you want to kill yourself in the face.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:42 pm
    No. 169 cdd says:

    Welcome Whitney!!

    Why is everyone saying 'bye to Cord. He didn't say he was leaving. Cord, you're not trying to subtly dump us, are you?

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:43 pm
    No. 170 queencrone says:

    Yes. That's how I feel. I like the barb wire.

    I don't want Miss Whitney to feel bad. But he's got that edge that I work off off well.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:43 pm
    No. 171 janice says:

    I am too. Who would have thunk it. Being dumped by your favorite blog. Oh Cord, we barely knew ye.

    I'm glad Whitney's a cat lady, but I respond poorly to enthusiasm about celebrities. I'm conflicted. But I'm ready to love again.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:44 pm
    No. 172 janice says:

    Regular coke en masse=hangovers.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:45 pm
    No. 173 queencrone says:

    I really won't see that movie, then. I just can't kill myself in the face. My face has suffered enough already. :-)

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:45 pm
    No. 174 cooter says:

    Lets move on shall we?

    Shout out to Whitney!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:45 pm
    No. 175 janice says:

    Whitnooooooozle!

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:46 pm
    No. 176 queencrone says:

    Yes janice, it's the sugar. That's what causes the hangovers. Also, dehydration.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:47 pm
    No. 177 cooter says:

    I say we leave the job of keeping her in line to juju. She knows how to handle the amateurs. Sorry I just dont feel like spelling.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:48 pm
    No. 178 queencrone says:

    Whitney will be just fine. Plus I usually get a big kick out of you all anyway.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:49 pm
    No. 179 janice says:

    It's true, QC. That's why I try to drink vodka soda. Drink drink drink drunk falldown floor, but no hangover! Mi-ra-cle.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:49 pm
    No. 180 janice says:

    I think Whitney might have a little less… what is it called… oh yes, "hate" for us, than Cord. At least, for the next few months.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:50 pm
    No. 181 cooter says:

    I have a fine Smirnoff planned for the weekend.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:50 pm
    No. 182 janice says:

    Mmm, Smirnoff. The 2008 vintage is particularly nice.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:51 pm
    No. 183 cooter says:

    Yes, Janice I like it with a nice vintage orange juice……at least thats how it is usually in my house. Jeez, cant men go to the store once in awhile.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:53 pm
    No. 184 janice says:

    Mmm, vintage screwdrivers. Phillips, I hope.

    The only man in my house at the moment is my cat. I keep attaching notes and bills to him so he can go to the store, but he keeps coming back emptyhanded. I know he spends it on tequila and cheap hookers. Stupid cat.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:55 pm
    No. 185 queencrone says:

    And vodka has no smell in your pores the next day.

    I like a nice vodka tonic.

    I drink beer mostly because I am a cheap ass bitch. So I drink a beer, then drink a glass of water. Repeat as needed. Calories do add up though.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:57 pm
    No. 186 cooter says:

    Thank you janice, I forgot to throw mine out. (cat)

    True story and mine spends hers on pot and ciggys.
    You know Cooter was my cats name. Once again, true story.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:58 pm
    No. 187 cooter says:

    Oh qc, I like the vodka but not the tonic. It makes me hurl.

    Posted: Jan 24, 2008 at 11:59 pm
    No. 188 queencrone says:

    You can probably catch a buzz off that vintage orange juice with no other mixers.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:00 am
    No. 189 cooter says:

    All right kids, I gotta go to bed. I"m off on Fridays and I dont want to waste a hangover on a day I dont have to work.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:02 am
    No. 190 janice says:

    I wish I could throw my cat out. There's a sneaky tomcat near my new apartment who's been eyeing him since we moved in. I know your game, tomcat. Don't mess.

    I work at a pub that's also a brewery… lots of cheap, decent beer. Needless to say, detrimental to working during the day.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:02 am
    No. 191 queencrone says:

    So you'll take the soda?

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:02 am
    No. 192 cooter says:

    That didnt make any sense. Who cares. You know what I mean…..I dont want to feel bad when I have all day at home. I might actually clean the house or something productive.

    Maybe not.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:04 am
    No. 193 queencrone says:

    Ok cooter, get some sleep and have a fun tgif.

    Janice, do you get to sample the new creations? I love your job.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:04 am
    No. 194 janice says:

    I'd take the purple koolaid, but I've been warned not to.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:04 am
    No. 195 queencrone says:

    Cooter, don't clean the house on your day off. Well, unless that is something you want to do.

    You should have a very fun day. I hope you do.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:05 am
    No. 196 janice says:

    It's not bad! Yeah, we do, actually. The crappy thing is, the beer tastings are always at 9:00 in the morning… and I don't usually get up until at least 10, since I usually work til 1 or 2am. So we all roll in at 9, mostly hung over, with freshly brushed teeth, and we're not allowed to have coffee or breakfast until we have sampled each beer. It gets messy fast. They keep asking what each beer tastes like, and everytime, it's like, "Baking soda toothpaste… and raspberry beer." … all the while stuffing bagels into our mouths when no one is looking.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:07 am
    No. 197 queencrone says:

    It must be very good purple koolaide.

    :-)

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:08 am
    No. 198 janice says:

    PS-goodnight cooter! happy day off.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:11 am
    No. 199 queencrone says:

    How many beers do you sample each day?

    You must have a good sense of what are great beers. Especially those in the stores, etc.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:12 am
    No. 200 queencrone says:

    I am highly impressed.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:15 am
    No. 201 janice says:

    Luckily, the beer tastings aren't too often. But I like to drink an extra-curricular beer from time to time. Unfortunately, I still don't know the difference between good beer and bad beer. I am totally unable to discriminate between them… I just know what I like, and that is almost all of them. I'm very accepting of my alcohols.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:16 am
    No. 202 queencrone says:

    I laughed so hard just now! :-)

    I have to say, I have had a beer that I set down and couldn't finish, but that was not the norm. It was this highly touted beer too.
    My son brought it home. I think it was a flavored beer.

    Now I had a peach flavored beer this weekend that was very nice, but I can tell you that I personally wouldn't spend the money to buy it for myself.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:21 am
    No. 203 janice says:

    The only beer I really, truly dislike is the raspberry beer that we make, actually. Maybe I'm traumatized from the toothpaste experiences, but I keep trying it, wanting to like it, and it's nasty. It tastes like someone dropped a candy in my beer. I like my beers naked, unadulterated, beer-flavoured beer.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:25 am
    No. 204 ilnazhad says:

    Okay, I though I was handling this well, but I'm seeing pink rectangles everywhere.
    You won't be enthusiastic, will you? Be a negatron. PLlleeaaase.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:30 am
    No. 205 queencrone says:

    I think it was a raspberry flavored beer that I didn't like as well, or something like that, it was a "strawberry blond type", but not strawberry flavor. My son thought that I would like it because it was a "girly beer". He was the manager of the liquor department.

    Yes, there is so much great flavor in a good beer, be it a green, golden, etc. that you really don't have to tinker too much with it.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:31 am
    No. 206 janice says:

    Haha, 'girly beers' are usually code for something strange and sugary, which usually translates to grossy gross.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:39 am
    No. 207 janice says:

    Anyhoo, QC, the theatrical Ambien has not worked. I think I'm going to go try to read a book and see how it goes! Have a good night :)

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:40 am
    No. 208 queencrone says:

    Bless his heart, son was trying to be nice to his momma, but I seriously had a problem with it. I think he polished off the sixpack eventually.

    That mess was nasty. It was a waste of an ale.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:42 am
    No. 209 queencrone says:

    Goodnight janice, see you later. I'll pad off to bed and let these young ones get back to world of war craft.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 12:43 am
    No. 210 Roommate says:

    Congrats Whitney!!! I'm so excited for you.

    Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:05 am