*Insert stereotypical joke about teeth here*

I am completely enraged for, Solange. I want to hold some kind of fashion telethon for her. It's just cruel how they make Beyonce a bedazzled spectacle and poor Solange has to wear ugly frocks.

They just put an old ruched tablecloth on her and slapped one of Beyonces reject wigs on her. Beyonce, ruins everything. She just stepped over the line when she tried to out hot, Tina Turner. She's lucky she didn't find herself in the Thunderdome.

I think we should vote her into the Thunderdome… Along with Kanye. Just so long as no music comes on while Kanye is sucking his own wee wee.
I'm a bit more offended by Aretha's choice of a spagetti strap day-glo green/yellow dress. I know she's the Queen of soul and all, but she looked like the sun.

Maybe that's what she was going for. Look at me, I'm brighter than the sun. So if an asteroid ever destroys it we can just put Aretha in the sky and she'll warm us with her glowing rays of soul.

does solange have a mustache?

We're going to have a helluva time putting Ms. Franklin in the sky.

Just tell her we're taking a spaceship ride to Miss Sara Lee's. I'd go to outer space for pound cake.

Solange brought it on herself by getting knocked up as an unwed teenager. House of De'reon isn't made for hoochie mamas, okay? Now let's talk about Ashanti's blonde ponytail extension… This brings me back to my days as a 2nd grade teacher, when Magali, a very dark-haird Mexican, used to put Barbie hair clip extentions on either side of her head. It was sad and funny, just like Magali.

p.s. Juju, what's up with, the commas?

They go with my shoes.