no thank you, i'd rather stab myself in the eyes with my pen…it'd be less painful than looking at a pic of brit's ham wallet.

Yawn. You know what was more interesting than seeing Britney's vajayjay for the upteemth time? The range of adverts accompaning the shot:

"Letterbox Flapping?"
"Gazebo and Party Tents"
"Create A Virtual Pet"
"Greeting Cards Online"

Nice metaphors. I was amused.

Ham wallet. I\m using that from now on. I'll never look at Prosciutto the same way again.

lol sorry. :)

ham wallet ::vomits::

With all the abuse Britney has inflicted on it, I'd say it's more like a fanny pack. Uhhhh, dry heaves, sorry.

Or swiss cheetohs.

I think I'm scarred for life.

Just like a certain someone's ham wallet!!
(Wait… did I just compare myself to… I did?… *Vomits*)

What is it about not wearing underwear that is so appealing? Is it the slight breeze? I personally hate not wearing underwear… it just feels wrong.

Wait, is this in addition to the one from yesterday that happened right after the VMAs?

all sluts on the go refrain from wearing underwear

That what I was wondering. Is this a back-to-back offense or the same one?

no, i think it's the same one kitchy…cord just has a delayed reaction to things.

I thought he already posted yesterday's, though. You know, unlike the Halle confirmation.

i could be wrong…i did have to do some actual work yesterday so i might have missed it. farking work.

Nah, I'm pretty sure there was one yesterday, although I can't swear that I am not confused because I already saw it on 80 other sites.

It's in yesterday's LCD. So someone go click on both links for me and tell me if it's the same story.

i'm afraid i'll see the ham wallet if i do kitchy

C'mon, can't you do this one little thing for li'l ol' Kitchy?

oh ok, if i don't make it back it'll be because i had to stab my eyes with my pen.

Then type blindly. I'll forgive typos.

same one…i think bunnie just wanted to post his little chart.

I bet he just wanted to prove that contrary to popular belief, he can in fact find a woman's vagina.

With the help of a chart.

Does Cord find Britney's hey-nanny-nanny so hot that it merits two posts? Ew.

Psst, Kitch, how much are you betting? Remember, he doesn't take checks.

I bet deimos' soul.

LOL Deimos, I am a slut on the run. I am a fan of commando. But the rule is, hide your junk. There is a way to get out of a car without flashing the beav.

"Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night."

i see how you roll kitchy, i risk seeing the ham wallet and you bet my soul.

If she's going to flash us the least she could do is bedazzle her ham wallet.

deimos, have fun with your new boyfriend, Lucifer. I hear he's pretty hot.

*Zing!*

You're right, deimos. I apologize and offer up juju's soul instead.

satan is going to be pissed when he finds out my soul already belongs to L Ron…he won it in a raffle last year.

i still heart you kitchy ;)

In a smackdown between L Ron and Satan, who do you put your money on?

Trick question, L. Ron IS Satan.

*lol* you guys are crazy. stupid effing work is making me miss all the fun.

this is a fly-by hi…hopefully I will return to slacker status shortly. Ah, the woes of the end of the month…

L Ron would smack the theatins right out of satan's bitch ass

admitted- i hear you. this week is too farking busy.

I'm telling Tom you said that Kitchy. They got Cord and your next.

L Ron says he can't stand tom, that's why he always tries to avoid him at parties…true story.

There's a white van parked outside my office door.

I'll create a diversion while you run, Kitchy.

Show 'em yer tits, evil.

they're attracted to shiney objects…just throw your keys and make a break for it.

Normally, I charge for that, Kitchy, but I guess I'll make an exception this time.

Too bad you didn't read the fine print on the Tom-Ba juice. It contains microscopic homing devices. Ha, run Kitchy, RUN. They'll find you in every Starbucks and Krispy Kreme. Can you pick me up some glazed and a pumpkin spice latte? Mmmmm.

Screw that!

No, I mean, get some for you too, I'm belevolent like that. It will be like your living in, The Minority Report. It should have won and Oscar.

So I showed the goods for free and it's all for naught? I feel so ashamed.

I much appreciate it, evil. So it's not TOTALLY for naught.

Yes, appreciation is just as good as money.

I'll give you half of juju's soul as payment, evil.

Ok, I'll take it.

It won't get you much. It's a black barren wasteland in there. If you look in my soul you can see a rousing game of Tron.

With the revenue from the first quarter of the Tomba Corp., I'm pretty sure we can afford to send Ms. Spears this:

http://www.hoonthego.com/

I have a feeling this was created by Terrance Howard. The moist towlettes are a dead giveaway.

i like the ho on the go thing

Where was this when I was in college?

"Feel the night's residue melt away with revitalizing armoatherapy towelettes by terrance howard"

I'm not sure you can "wipe away" what Brit Brit has going on down there…
Ew. Sometimes I gross myself out)

I think she would be better off using a blowtorch, rather than the towelettes.

Radiate it just to be sure.

Well, given all the trauma to said vajayjay of late (and by "trauma," I mean exposure to Criss Angel), a blowtorch might be a bit grating. Perhaps a tiny chef's torch could turn that double-wide into a delicate creme brulee?

Comparing Brit's vajayjay to a delicious dessert is just plain icky

Like I said, perhaps it just requires a delicate touch.

No?

All right, fine, let's authorize a surgical nuclear strike.

I had this weird War Games flashback. I hope her ladylumps won't call me on the phone asking me if I want to play a game.

Does Tomba Corp. have that kind of money and authority? If so, I beseech you, why is this just being considered now?

Is Matthew Broderick going to guide the war against Britney's vajayjay?

Tomba required quite a bit of start-up capital and buy in from Xenu's top-level execs.

Ah, completely understandable. I'm pretty sure SJP will keep Matthew Broderick as far from Brit's "ham wallet" as possible. There will be too many casualties in that war.
Besides, I don't see him as a great war leader, and this will take someone FIERCE! Maybe Tyra???

Tyra's forehead could potentially blind Britney into complacency. Now there's a thought…

Remember that episode of America's Next Top Model when Tyra went OFF that girl Tiffany for not caring after she was eliminated?? She needs to go ghetto Tyra on Britney's ass.

I say we send in Tim Gunn. He'll make that shit work.

Why is it we are always talking about some kind of body part on here. Breast and vaginas to be exact.

That's an easy one. Cord has vajayjay envy, clearly.

that and now that cord has held a newborn his body has started producing breast milk.

Can I get a shot of that in my coffee, Cord. We're out of creamer.