Except Probably Not

Growing up in Abilene, Texas, my friends and I sometimes had to get creative when it came to entertainment. Normally, said entertainment consisted of them luring me into a car by convincing me we were going to go hang out at Sonic, but instead driving me by the House of Yahweh, a local cult. I would scream in the backseat, duck down, cry, etc., and they would laugh and laugh. But the cult ??? named one of the deadliest in America ??? terrified me. Having been in New York for almost a year, I assumed I was safe from all of that, but one of my friends informed me last night that the leader has predicted the end of the world ??? and it's supposed to be happening this week.

Yisrayl Hawkins, head of the House of Yahweh religious sect in Abilene, said in a 20/20 segment that aired Friday, that a nuclear war will begin 'soon, really soon.'

As in June 12. Thursday, for those who want to circle calendar dates or cancel appointments.

A story on ABC's news site said 'hundreds of truck trailers have been loaded with food and water' on the group's 44-acre compound in preparation for the coming conflagration.

But here's the great thing about Yisrayl: He's predicted the end of the world two times now, and it never happened. The awesomeness in all this, though, is the video the Reporter-News filmed in response to the story which was shot in front of the town's Super Wal-Mart. Because why go look for locals at the library or anything like that when you can stay true to stereotypes?

Jun 9, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 12 Responses
Related Posts

  • No related posts found.
  • Comments (12)

    No. 1 Stephanie says:

    Aw, I'm so jealous that you got to go to Sonic. New York's lack of Sonic is a real detriment to the state. They taunt us, by playing Sonic commercials on television all the time, but the closest one is supposed to be over three hours away. I would imagine you miss it, yes?

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 10:28 am
    No. 2 nikki says:

    this is NYC miss Stephanie. If you don't like it go back to your midwest little town and stop trying to make NYC into said little town. We don't want your crap here…LOL

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 10:31 am
    No. 3 not-that-guy says:

    Has anyone told Maher about this?

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 10:46 am
    No. 4 ChoniBaretz says:

    mmmmm…peanut butter milk shakes and jalape??o poppers (and vicodan) delicious!

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 10:52 am
    No. 5 Whitney says:

    @Stephanie:
    Yes, the lack of Sonic here in the city has been a difficult obstacle to overcome, but I have survived thus far. Like you said, it's not fair that we have to watch the commercials every day on TV, yet we're unable to go down the street and order a 99 cent shake and extra-long cheese coney.

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 10:57 am
    No. 6 Keeblerkahn says:

    Wait, the world is coming to an end THIS WEEK?!? There is still so much I haven't done. I thought I'd have more time. I still haven't been to the Louvre, or seen the worlds largest frying pan. And how am I supposed to find a really hot looking midget to have relations with in such a short amount of time? (no pun intended) It's just not fair.

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 11:49 am
    No. 7 chellelee79 says:

    Mmmm, Sonic. Guess I know what I'm having for lunch. Thanks for the great idea Whitney. But seriously, you're from Abilene? I live west of there and drive through there a few times a week. I'm sick of all the damn road construction in that town!

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 11:51 am
    No. 8 chellelee79 says:

    And the end of the world is this week? Can't we wait until Saturday? My birthday is Friday, so I would like to party it up one last time. I guess I'll be okay if it does happen on Thursday, for I won't have to deal with turning 30. But it will put a damper on my plans to punch K-Fed in the face while I'm in Vegas this weekend.

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 11:54 am
    No. 9 Keeblerkahn says:

    Wait wait wait hold the F up. Does this have anything to do with the launch of speidiweb.com?

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 12:32 pm
    No. 10 chellelee79 says:

    Or Perez's fashion line?

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 12:35 pm
    No. 11 ilnazhad says:

    Good. I've always wanted to die while still skinny.

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 6:11 pm
    No. 12 ilnazhad says:

    Tip: Do not pay 200 dollars for whiskey. It tastes just as toxic.

    Posted: Jun 9, 2008 at 6:12 pm
    Leave a Comment
    Scroll Posts
    « Next Prev » Oh, Barney, Not You Too