A Big Gift
If you ever wondered how Matthew McConaughey got to be so crazy, may we present Exhibition No. 1: His mother, Kay. The lovely Kay has many great stories to share — did you hear the one about her husband's death?
On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go! [He was taken from the house naked because] I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift.
That's one of those stories we would never want to hear our mother tell. TMI, Kay. TMI.
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I hope I'm getting fucked when I die. Preferably doggy style.
Also, I'm not sure I'd be so proud I'd screwed my husband lit'rally to death.
haha, I love that she's called Exhibition #1. Intentional or not, it's totally fitting.
I'm not sure flaccid, dead, old man is something to be proud of Kay. But hey, that's just how I roll. Maybe it's different in Texas.
I actually like this story and wouldn't mind if my mom or grandmother told me it. Once my (step)mother told me that she likes it in the butt. I swear. THAT is the definition of TMI.
ok I guess I killed this thread. I am sorry, the anonymity of the internet lets me say really disgusting things that I can't tell people in real life.
that's ok silent noodles, i'll listen to your TMI stories.
me too!
My parents left a (used) black condom in the garbage can one weekend when I went out of town. To which my tactful friend responded, "Who the hell does your dad think he is? A burglar?!"
Now I'm forever haunted by the idea of my dad burgling my mom.
Oh. My. God.
I guess I'm lucky, since my parents don't burgle anymore. I mean it, don't you dare say different. Even if my mom loves to say the word 'fellatio' and draw it out.
janice that story is hysterical! partly because the black condom and partly because I like the word "burgling".
Did she call the undertaker AFTER the rigor mortis subsided? :)