Remember that famous, famous, famous polar bear Knut, who only months ago graced the cover of Vanity Fair with Leonardo DiCaprio? Well, in a turn of events that has yielded the best metaphor ever for explaining Britney Spears, celebrity itself and indeed life in general, the coddling of Knut and his massive fame have caused him to become, according to experts, a "psychopath."
While some insist that bears born in zoos have a right to human intervention to save and secure their lives, others such as the German animal rights activist, Frank Albrecht argue that they become so dependent on man that they end up divorced from nature and turn into hyperactive, disturbed freaks.
"Knut is a problem bear who has become addicted to human beings," he said.
…
[Knut was] rejected by his mother, a disturbed circus bear called Tosca, and…faced the prospect of being eaten.Enter Thomas Dörflein. Within days Knut was placed in the 44-year-old Berlin zookeeper's care. Mr Dörflein instantly fulfilled the role of Knut's surrogate mother, hand-feeding his charge day and night.
When Knut first appeared in public in March last year, there were more than 500 journalists present. The Knut marketing machine shifted into top gear. The first 2,400 Knut stuffed toys produced by the zoo sold out in four days. Within a matter of weeks Knut was sharing the front cover of Vanity Fair magazine with Leonardo DiCaprio. There are games, posters, T-shirts, pop songs, a children's book and silver coins bearing Knut images and the Hollywood producer Ash R Shah, is planning a $3.5m animated filmfeaturing Knut.
For politicians and the environmentalists Knut proved irresistible. Greenpeace was one of the first to feature the cub on a poster for its campaign against global warming.
Sigmar Gabriel, Germany's Environment Minister, has adopted the bear, claiming him as a symbol of the world's endangered species. Yet evidence suggests that polar bears are not facing extinction, even if the ice caps are melting. Alaska. home to a fifth of the world's 25,000 polar bears, currently has its largest bear population in 40 years.
Meanwhile, Knut faces an uncertain and lonely future. The German media like to think Flocke holds the key to his salvation and that she will eventually become his mate. But for most zoologists the idea is pure fantasy. "Knut won't manage anything with a female bear, I guarantee that," insisted Dr Arras.
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMFG! This story explains just about everything wrong with our zeitgeist – irrationality in the face of "cute," unwillingness to accept the harshness of the world, sensationalism, etc – and it needs to go into a time capsule to provide information to our successors about why everyone died in 2012. (Just you wait.)
Editor
Yeah, I don't get how not wanting to hang out with the other bears makes Knut at psychopath. Polar bears are notorious assholes. Call me when he starts killing small animals…oh, wait.
So you're saying that Britney is a pale skinned attention hungry animal with substantial amount of blubber that could potentially prove to be bad in relationships? I'm willing to buy that.
Well, polar bears aren't total dicks to other polar bears. And they aren't mean all the time like, oh say, crocs. They thrive in the north pole and we live in the not-north-pole for a reason. He can eat Leonardo, though.. lol!
check these out:
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/polardog.asp
Unrelated, but this is the top post. I TOTALLY missed Bedbugs saying goodbye on the Babyshambles post yesterday. Sadness!
Yeah, I saw a lot in that article about people being celebrity-obsessed, not so much stuff about the bear actually being affected by it. I think both the bear and Britney are more affected by insane/abusive parenting - but I'm sure the equally insane media attention is constantly exacerbating it.
That press release (?) is schizophrenic. What is the main point? That Knut's not a wild bear? No surprise. That the Germans are getting lots of mileage and money out of the bear? Not surprising. That global warming's not real? Wha?
SEX AND THE BEAR. SHOULD BE A LAW
PRO OR CON I'M NOT SURE
or is it "grin and bear it"
Peas: I think the point is that there are measures you can take to assure that an animal stays truer to its nature than human nature and that Knuts handlers didn't do it, so now Knut will suffer because his state of mind means he can't lead a normal polar bear life.
chelsea: good one
eeks: Those photos are great.
Lily the Pink,
How is it that Knut is going to suffer?
I'm not trying to play devil's advocate (I'm a veg, animal lover, tree hugger, etc.) - I'm just trying to understand it. Having not followed Knut since infancy. :0)
Celebrity & fame have turned Knut into a krazy Kunt. One day that pycho bear is going to kill one of his fans in the face.
Peas: He's been taught to enjoy human companionship and depend on it for entertainment and play, etc. In essence, he's almost been domesticated. The keyword here is almost, though, because he's still a giant predator with innate predatory instincts, which means at some point it will be too dangerous for his handler to physically interact with him lest his get hiface killed off and his ass eaten. This virtually guarantees that the things he has been taught to depend upon to keep him happy will be taken away from him.
Of course it's possible that his handler will continue to interact with him and possible he will get hit with a polar bear pimp slap fatality, but who knows. Maybe not, but the point is that the way he was handled is the reason why he's not currently aware he's a bear and what puts him at risk. If they had handled him differently there wouldn't be a problem.
Billy: See above. He won't just kill someone in the face; he will completely kill their face off and eat their ass.
"…lest he get his face…"
Wait, isn't it human nature (biology) to be irrational in the face of cute?
Peas: I could have probably gotten my point across faster if I had just stated the hard fast rule of domesticating animals, which is "It doesn't matter how cute it is as a baby, if it will grow up into something that might decide you'd make a good meal, don't do it."
iSore: Oh, I'm totally irrational in the face of cute, but the reality of my mortality always brings me around. :)
Yikes. I would not want to be his trainer when he decides he wants to mate.
isore, That has ALWAYS been my problem in the mating department. And if they talk smooth, I'm a goner. That's why I finally had to just go ahead and retire from dating.
Also, I read too much cosmo, and got a really skewed world view. :-)
I don't like it when girl-Cord OMGs.
That's what DListed is for.
A eeeeks - great photos. thanks!
Decrapio what a blabbering hollywood nit wit his brain has shrunk to pea sized noting it was walnut sized HE IS STUPID AND A HYPOTCRIT