At right is Latarian Milton, a seven-year-old boy from South Florida who was in hot water recently after stealing his grandmother’s Dodge Durango and joyriding around town with a friend of his, also seven. Milton drove through a Costco parking lot and up and down some main roads before crashing into a sign on the sign of the road, in the process running over a couple mailboxes and hitting several parked and moving cars. Nobody was hurt and Milton is now the talk of his small town.
When a local newsman asked Milton why he took the car, our new hero proclaimed, “I wanted to do it because it’s fun—it’s fun to do bad things … I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friend.”
After hearing about the $10,000 bassinets and cashmere onesies lavished onto JLo and Posh Spice’s velvet-bottomed brats, it’s nice to know there’s still some real badass kids in the world evening things out.
Editor
I want to be like this kid when I grow up. For reals.
Also, that is one old looking seven year old. I’d give him twelve at least.
Oh come on people- didn’t you ever sneak out with your best friend and go driving around in her parent’s nice Acura, TeePeeing people’s homes? Highlights of growing up (unfortunately) in suburbia I guess.
First of all, he’s on my right. Okay. As a former teacher in inner-city Denver, I have worked with kids just like this. First sign that something’s chaotic in his life- he stole Grandma’s car. That tells me that he’s probably not living with his mom or dad. And even when you get a whooping, it still counts as attention. The things I’ve seen among poverty-stricken kids is amazing- not only what they know, but what they’ll do. It’s really sad.
Bad attention is better than NO attention, right Lale?
if that kid side-swiped my car on his fucking joyride, I would fucking kill him myself. I don’t like people fucking with my car. Also, I’m typing this on my new iPhone, and yeah, I feel awesome.
Am I the only person who doesn’t “get” iphones? Idiot has an iphone and whenever i play with his i’m just like “ahhhhh my fingers are too big!!!” its pretty though.
Oh, and I would whoop his ass. I didn’t take anyone’s car on a joyride until I turned 16 when I lived in Texas and my brother was out in the field and his wife was out with her friends.
I took my dads truck when I was 15. They had gone out to dinner and we passed them on their way home. I got lucky and they didnt see us but they sure saw the cig. burn in the seat. Good times.
Memaw was just being nice for the cameras. That boy got an ass whoopin’ after the police left. And lost his video game privileges.
Go ahead and throw the stupid little fucker in jail. He’ll end up there eventually anyway.
Cute kid. I don’t know too much about the Dodge Durango but how did he reach the pedals?
maria, I’m telling you, he’s twelve!
All the more reason to smack him in the head.
Am I the only one who thinks that “hoodrat” means something slightly different than what this kid thinks it does?
Can we get a petition started that would allow the Grandmother to whoop him?
Mae- my idiot has an IPhone too, and I have to practically tear it away from him in, ahem, bed. They’re quite handy when you’re lost but that machine is definitely the other woman in our relationship (it could be worse…)
The other day my friend was like “what was that movie Mandy Moore was in…?” And I was all “I don’t know, let me check my IPHONE.” See, totally worth the money.
So I made my whole family watch this.
My 7 year old says wistfully, “He’s going to have a good Show and Tell this week.”
First Grade Show and Tell is competitive these days.
I’m hiding my keys from now on.
Take this bastard child away from whomever is raising him - they clearly aren’t doing thier job.
If I caught this little fucker, I’d be the one in jail for hurting a harmless child. That my friends, is why I believe more people should be sterilized.
If Latarian Milton shows up at my house in 10 years and my daughter says they are about to go out to dinner and a movie,
I’m going to say, like I ALWAYS do to the young men that want to take my baby girls somewhere: “Hello sweetheart, please come in. Have a seat. Yes, right here by me. What’s your name sweetpea? Latarian Milton. Latarian Milton.
Oh, right. Are you the self proclaimed little hoodrat that crashed your grandma’s suv back in 08?”
“How have you been? We got a big kick out of that. How us your driving record? Can I see your proof of insurance? Oh, nevermind, I’ll drive you and my daughter. Are you all ready?”
My mom was much worse, she demanded to see my date’s license, to know his phone number, his address, his parents name, his mother’s maiden name. It was quite entertaining actually. Three years into my relationship with my husband/then boyfriend, she called up his house and demanded answers from me. Turns out she kept all that stuff on file. She is definitely my role model for raising my kids.
Whoop his butt and make him run around the track. He could use a workout. No more Cheetos & video games.
Classic comment: “It’s fun to do bad things.” This kid is hilarious, but I would have beat his behind if he was mine.
I smell reality show for this turd.
HAHAHA This kids an OG at 7 years old. They need to put kids like Latarian in suburban schools. Suburban fuckers think they are bad ass until they find out they dont know how to fight. He reminds me of a lil East Side Oakland kid. HAHAH This kid will beat all your kids asses at the same time.
I YANK DA, I YANKED IT, I YANK DA UMMM THANG
Latarian got my brother’s wife pregnant!
FREE LATARIAN! www.2squirrels1nut.com