• 9:12 p.m. YES! The "I am your brother forever" guy is back! Does anyone know where I can get that awesome white winged hat?
• 9:13 p.m. Now he's taking the stage to sing live, because the Idol producers love to exercise the "too much of a good thing" theory. Oh my God. Seriously? There is an effing USC marching band (cheerleaders included) to accompany him on this song. You guys … the end is nigh.
• 9:14 p.m. Oh, no. No no no. Paula just took the stage to dance around and mortify Simon. Seriously, Cowell looks like he wants to curl up and die. I can't say I blame him.
• 9:18 p.m. OneRepublic is singing that "Too Late to Apologize" song. Is it not cool for me to admit that this song never gets old? Seriously, I listen to it a lot.
• 9:19 p.m. The singer should not hit any high notes during a live performance, ever.
• 9:20 p.m. Oh, great. Thanks for ruining the song, Archie. He should not be singing about loving anyone with a fire, unless of course he's talking about his favorite blanky.
• 9:21 p.m. Matt Rogers is talking to Archie's grandparents. Do you think they passed on the stagedad gene or was that just Jeff's thing?
• 9:23 p.m. Jordin Sparks is singing "One Step at a Time" while wearing a particularly hideous gold dress. This song bores me.
• 9:25 p.m. It's still going on. I get up to stretch.
• 9:26 p.m. OK, so this is cute. Blake Lewis, who came in second to Jordin last year, is in the audience singing along to her new single. At least one person is enjoying it.
• 9:31 p.m. Now we are treated to some "footage" of Gladys Knight auditioning backup dancers, who just so happen to be Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. It's like that SNL Chippendales skit, except not really that funny. Downey's got some moves, though. Jack Black is an attention whore, as usual.
• 9:33 p.m. This is still going on. It makes me feel weird.
• 9:34 p.m. Someone's pants are off. I don't want to talk about it, I just want it to be over.
• 9:35 p.m. Yay! Carrie Underwood's here to rescue us with "Last Name." I love this song and I love her. She's got some weird white thing draped around her arms, but I don't even care, because I have seen so much worse in the past 90 minutes.
• 9:38 p.m. My Starbucks is wearing off, and my cat has already fallen asleep. Twenty-two minutes to go.
• 9:41 p.m. NOOOOOO! Archie is now in the Guitar Hero commercial, dancing around in his underwear. It's obvious he's very uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I am after witnessing that whole disaster.
Editor
Who do you like Whitney?
I think I'm gonna have to go with David A. after last night. I hope he wins so his dad doesnt beat the hell out of him.
So I need to be sure not to click on Mollywood until after it airs here, since we're three hours behind.
I would like there to be some fluke in the voting so Jason Castro takes the title. But since that won't happen, I'm on the Cook train. Archie is too much of a Disney character for me, and I think the kid needs to grow and develop a personality of his own without his dad. If he wins, the Idol machine will take over where his dad left off, and that will be disastrous.
I'm putting way too much thought into this.
* Crying in my beer* Jason - Its time for us to move on…..
But if he doesn't win, his dad is still in charge. Idol winners have some freedom as to what type of music to pursue, having his dad be his sole leader won't give him that.
I'm putting it as many posts as I can before it starts at 5 pm my time and I can't come here anymore. *lol*
I'm planning on getting drunk, watching Jason's Solo and hoping David C wins before I pass out
GASP! I didnt know my Jason was going to be on! I'm with you natmusk.
It's close! 56% to 44%> ;o
apparently simon finally admitted that David Cook was way better than he gave him credit for and that actually Archie's imagine sucked…
woo! good song for foxy mcdreads. even simon loved it the first time around.
There you go, Whitney. Jason at his FINEST…. Delicious…..
is anyone else horrified at ryan seacrest's spazzy display of spastic dancing? i got shivers. cheese-shivers.
Wow. Amanda Overmyer was truly acting like a c–t. Bet she's going to be a treat on the tour.
Donna Summer still fuckin rocks!
did jason have his nose done? just askin
Gross–I cannot stand this little david…omg brian adams, that's much better
so i'm pretty sure david C has to win. i know it's redundant to say this, but he has much more charisma than david A, who desperately needs to get laid.
Whitney, you're a saint. I'm DVRing this and basing what parts I subject myself to based on your blogging. Thanks for the sacrifice.
when they were both watching the new mike myers crap movie I was just thinking. "dude, David' A's Dad is going to be pissed"
9:12…what the fuck. You cant say that Whitney so I will.
that fucking song is going to be in my head for the rest of the night
So I totally just realized that Amanda won't even be on the tour so ignore what I said up there. I'm an ass.
Although not as much of an ass as she was during the group number.
May I just point out that our "brotha from another motha" made is cape out of homecoming mums..
seriously, RDJ have some damn self respect
What in the name of all that is holy does Carrie Underwood have on?
i kept waiting for her to step backward and completely wipe out
ooh, david A in boxers…he's going to be grounded for that.
Amanda = Roseanne.
I'm gonna vom.
Is George fucked up? He's singing one of my all time favorite songs….he's just not singing it very well….bless his heart.
There is nothing sadder than an old queen cooter
I came here to bitch about carrie's outfit but I see that's been taken care of.
whitney, i know it's painful. you should have thought about it in advance like i did and had a couple of glasses of wine to numb the pain. it's like watching a spray-tanned, glittery, pop-slang slinging train wreck
i didn't watch any of it. i was convinced that Archuleta [Clay Aiken Part Deux] was going to win after the way the judges were all over him last night. now i am pissed with myself because my boy won. the person who best deserves it won. Cook will have a brilliant future!!!!
on second thought, maybe Archuleta got set up by the judges. their endorsement seems to have been the kiss of death. 12 million more people voted for David Cook. unbelievable!
I was really only watching to see if JC did the "Hallelujia" song…and he did. Don't be ashamed that you ALMOST cried Whitney, because I DID cry and I will never hear the end of it from my fiance or his best friend. I got ragged on all night for it. But it was all worth it just to see him perform that song again. God, I love him.
So, we TiVo'd it because my husband was going to see his friends band play. We fast forwarded through everything to the end. Ryan is standing there, about to announce the winner by 12 million votes "is David [breath]" —FROZEN FRICKIN' SCREEN. The damn TiVo stopped the recording at the exact second between the winning David's first and last name. We had to google the winner. Talk about a let down…it was like sex with no orgasm.
I just finished reading and the same thing happened to Whitney. At least you were live watching and could catch the end… :)
Yes, Jason sang the hell out of that song last night…loved it, and love him!
I adore DC, so I'm glad he took it. He was consistently awesome, so he deserved the win. I just hope that the bigwigs don't ruin him. He's too talented to be changed into some little harmless, milquetoast crappy singer.
I will admit, I though Archuleta did a great job with the OneRepublic song. And I actually hate that song otherwise.
I'm so glad Cook won.
Archie looked like someone had just taken away his paci.
That's what old Archuleta gets for singing Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.
Clay Aiken sang it WAY better in his season finale. And he might actually encourage you to let your son go down on him.
This comment got away from me.
Apologies. I had good ideas. Didn't translate.
oh, and bob downey is teh awesome. i would so totally let him violate me. he had some serious moves. he was the only one who actually looked sort of hot. he did his thing. he worked it out. dawg.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
STM, you're too much. Coommmiieee?
aw shucks, manbearpig. you're my favorite.