This is serious shit. I think Canada will be declaring war with the USA any day now.

Our soldier is already on his way. Just tell Ted it's not a big deal, and he should turn his bicycle around and come home.

poor ted, that's a long fucking ride on a bicycle.

It's okay, we raised our military budget to buy him snow treads for the tires. And baseball cards for the spokes.

i hope you got him a bell to, that could save his life you know.

We decided the baseball cards were the way to go this year. But if the Conservative Party gets re-elected, they'll increase the budget for a bell for next year.

What, no basket? How will he transport his black market american cigarettes.

Our outrageously expensive cigarettes pay his salary. Don't succumb to temptation, Ted.

Ted, our cigarettes will make girls sleep with you. We'll give you 10 and cartons and you can have Pamela Anderson Lee Anderson Richie Solmom back.

I meant will give you 10 cartons and you can have your old skank back.

The implants are American, I think, and she's more implant than human at this point. I revoke her citizenship.

Now, about those cartons…

What about Jim Carrey. Can you take him back? I'll throw in an extra carton and Tara Reid.

I will take Jim Carrey and grant him clemency based solely on Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. But he has to live in Toronto. There is no city big enough to drown Tara Reid in, so I'm afraid she can't come.

Lil' Jon's going to have to send her a case of his Crunk Juice and some skull hoodies to appease the "fucking princess."

Maybe she could send some Dom to Katrina?

Ugh, we can't get rid of the Reid no matter how hard we try. It's like the herp. fine, done and done. smoke up canuks.

I don't understand why all these assholes keep insisting on wearing those stupid hoodies. My toddler wouldn't even wear them.

I think it's just really convenient how the hood zips down the middle. That way, when Athena explodes out of your head, she can let herself out.

It's also great in case you need some quick brain surgery or have a mohawk.

Definitely. And for when the Jack pops out of the Box.

Why is when I see a pic of her all that comes to my mind is the word twat?

Yeah she doesn't look so great here– but I'd rock her hoodie!

~ JD

http://www.myspace.com/lovejdgirls

All this talk about hoodies and cigs takes me back to being a teenager. God, I miss my Newport Kings!

I had a pretty sweet rainbow jacket made out of satin. but it was only for special occasions like couples skate at the skatatorium. I was also 14 when i wore it. OMG, I used to hang out at a place called the skatatorium.

Stupid b*tch…

She probably went to smoke some crack… right after that…

I used to have a jacket that looked like a varisty jacket only it wasn't and it was powder blue. I used to wear it with my dress that had ruffles around the waist and two pairs of multi-colored socks. I felt hot like Molly Ringwald. Ya know, if Molly was blonde and fat.

Oh Josh, crack is whack dontcha know? I'm sure its only the best for Avril.

She makes me wish I was American ;)