A sausage? Really? Maybe I could understand if it were a hard salami - but a sausage is just nonsense. I have no time for nonsense. :-)

Hey now, I've had arm warmers for like 2 years now. They are white, crocheted, and foxy as all get-out. Sometimes I get sympathy because it looks like I have two casts on, and other times, people stop me to compliment my innovative warming technique.

Here in Canada, we are at the forefront of warming technology. We're like the Milan of arm warmers.

Isn't this the fella with lady parts that gave birth on "Oprah?" Or something?

And I think arm warmers are hot.

When I read the sausage story I laughed so hard I had trouble breathing. I put it in my favorites, and if I'm ever having a bad day, I'll read it to cheer myself up.

Better to be assaulted by an 8 inch sausage than a 5 or 6 incher.

If Canada starts a trend I will follow. I think arm warmers are cute.

Those peg leg jeans are hideous not only because they are pegged but because they are stone-washed mom jeans with a 2 foot long zipper.

if i were going to be assaulted by a sausage, i would prefer it to be the viennese sausage that verne troyer, that revolting mini beast, calls "penis."

it wouldn't really qualify as an assault. more like a severe annoyance. like if a 3 year old kept poking you in the hip with his pinky finger.

yeah. like that.

I bought wool arm warmers in Ireland in June and they are awesome.

In other news, the name of Verne Troyer's sex tape is "Assault With a Li'l Smokey". Heyo.

I'm up for getting assaulted with 8 inches, as long as you buy dinner first.

take my wife, please

In a landmark court case, for the first time in American history someone is being brought to trial for A-salt and Bratwursty.

Boy, are my arms tired.

WHERE IS MY DAD WHEN I NEED HIM? He would be all over this one. Like spices on a face, if you will.

The lyrics to the *seminal* song On Top of Old Smoky have been changed:

On Top Of L'il Smokey….
All covered with cheese…
When Mini-Me climaxed…
it felt like he sneezed.

I'll be here all the week.

For a REAL sausage assault, google "Cisco Adler's Balls"

no. i WILL NOT.

i've seen it and i will not suffer that sort of indignity again!

(said the guy who just got faced by Hickory Farms)

I will wear and love arm warmers.

jessica's lookin awfully dumpy up there. i smell babies!

what, it's related to sausage.

No, no, if I can obtain any item at Hot Topic, I reject it on priciple alone. The arm fuzzies are cute and cuddly, and good for those people who lost out when the Longsleeve Shirt With Thumb Holes never really caught on. But I reject them.

Also if you're going to wear them you are morally prohibited from wearing that shirt with them, or any preppy shirt of the same color as your arm cuddlers.

I see ninja armbands.