they're stealing your ideas cord….you want me to go bust some faces up for you?

Because women are just men with lots of make-up, or something. I'm tired.

Cord… you are beeeeautiful! And so you don't break a nail I'd be glad to help deimos out. Of course I AM a hippie so I can't be violent but I could definately drop something nasty in their coffe and put 'em out of commission for a while! :)

you make a pretty girl, anyway…

pretty boys make pretty girls. true story. :)

Um, beautiful. No matter what they say… Perhaps you should lend that wig to Britney when you're through having your fun with it. :)

Damn, Cord… you're beautiful!! If I were you, I'd be quoting James Gumm, aka Buffalo Bill: "I'd fuck me… I'd fuck me so hard."

Cord, you are really handsome. I have a crush on you. I say more pics of you!

Cord, are you trying to steal my man? Go on…you two would make a hot couple…even if you didn't feel like the 3 hours of hair and make-up everyday.

That was pretty brave. It takes a real man to wear a red satin dress!! Great video. =)

You look really nice. It's sort of like the Rock, Hillary Duff, and Leilah Ali had a kid…that's meant to be a compliment bytheway.

Actually, I should have said you look fierce.

At the risk of sounding like someone who cares…. Who are these random bitches?

I distinctly remember deciding several moments ago that no random women can come up in here and hit on Cord. I won't have it.

Now - Cord, you look like sexual chocolate, and as a woman you look like Mariah meets Julia Stiles meet Vin Diesel. It's all very good.

Yeah, he's definitely got some Dwayne going on. Coincidentally, I can smell what he's cooking. Strange coincidence.

Sorry to leave a grillion comments in a row, but IS THAT OUR CAIT WHO DID THE POST ON GAWKER???

Assuming I'm not a gay man, no, that is not me. Were LOLCait a 5'2, perpetually verbose southern girl, it'd be another story.

Cord - whether as a drag queen or a man, you're ridonculously hawt. True story. :)

(Just don't tell the jhorts-wearer I said that, k?)

We would make a very hot couple. I had no idea! This changes everything.

I signed up just to say, you're pretty and you have very nice teeth.

I also signed up just to say, I'd tap that.
Yeaaa-yuhhh boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Cait- whew! It was like that moment with lale, that time we didn't know she was being sarcastic.

Yeah, the teeth are like, the main event.

Lale is wondrously sarcastic, and I adore her for it.

Although I am not a gay man, I do admit to a renewed crush on Leslie Feist. ::blissful sigh::

What's Cord's heritage?

Random bitches? Cord is hot Sar, he cant help if people notice.

I'd say you look like a relatively strong man, too, judging from that arm.
I'm kinda confused about why they had to put so so much foundation on - I thought your skin tone looked better to start with - but I guess it's standard drag queen procedure to cover up stubble and eyebrows, &c.
Anyways, very nice.

Wow. Cord in his undies. I feel like I just cheated on my husband.

Cord, you have a fantastic smile.

ok Where is Kitchy in all this she will kill you all for hitting on Bunnieballs.

I don't think Jayden is 30lbs. My tot is 17m and she doesn't weigh close to that. he may be 20lbs. and 25 at max. Although I do remember seeing a 30lb. 8m old.

When you were finally done up, I thought, "Wow, he reminds me of Madonna." Until you laughed that manly laugh, and I thought, "Woah, Madge, lay off the 'roids!"

Also, my favorite part of that video is how you kept taking swigs of your drink between makeup applications. The video went too fast for me to tell what it was, but for your sake, I hope it was alcohol!

Halle Berry you are not.

Gorgeous in either gender.

I feel as though I would have enjoyed that clip more if a sweatshirt displaying a loon, or wolf, or some other scene of the sort was worn. But then, I DO love me some Murder She Wrote. So to me, anything would be better with such a sweater.

The 'heritage' question is always my favourite. And, yes, y'all Cord is hot y'all. But this fact changes nothing.

seyour you can't just throw that at me. i had already dumped my fiancee, diddled the best man, and cashed in my honeymoon tickets for tickets to newark, nj, from where i will seek the graffiti covered building that cord must inhabit. then i will profess my true love, and if he accepts, I will leave - but i'll go to the comedy cellar before i get outta new york. oh and i'll call that guy who thinks i'm so special and…. i guess that's not the point. the point was, i am on ambien, and the letters on the screen are moving like over water, it's very pretty and soothing, the rocking of the letters.

the point was you're right that fact changes nothing. although i am a little hot for cord, it's his intelligence i'm after, the hotness is something that ought to help him in his actual life.

i like him because he's smart, and thus far he has neither kicked me off the site for saying ridiculous, self centered things… nor has he outed me for the time i drunk emailed him and david hauslaib. no regrets! WAAAAAA WOOOOOOOOO OOOOO PARTYYYYY SEPTEMBER SPING BREEAAAAAAK!!!! PARTY! (no regrets, see, it's…. it goes.)

can i shut up? stay tuned and find out…

I (like most of the girls who have commented here, it seems) have a bit of a crush. However, mine is transatlantic. Which is obviously the best kind.

What I'm dying to know is how long it took Cord to wash all that makeup back off.

Do you think drag queens get lots of zits from all that heavy makeup?

This is what happens when Auburn is upset at home by USF. Sar starts plotting.

sar my heart just went boom-bang-a-bang. My love for you has skyrockted. Get on that plane, find the graffitied building, pin Cord down. Fiancce, smiannce, beyonce. Take many pictures. And that drunken e-mail you sent, d'ya still have a copy of it, because that is something I need to read.

Wahoo! Chicks with dicks!!!
Also, Cord (you) has really long arms and really ugly shoes.

hahaha! hey you guys someone must have logged in and posted under my name last night because i clearly remember floating away to sleep on a sea of digital letters… so it couldn't have been me. Plus I don't have a fiancee or a beyonce. I had a smiannce but I effed that up as usual.

I have a lingering suspicion that i possess a copy of the e-mail somewhere. i'm just not brave enough to go looking for it.

Basically what I'm saying is, Cait is right. There'll be more plotting where that comes from.

BTW- Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Very cliche, but very true too. They may be stealing your gimmicks, but they'll never be able to steal your wit.

ptit - i didn't see those before. what's the heart tattoo story??

Oh my. If Auburn continues to lose, Sar could feasibly go all Tyler Durden on us.

On the evidence of that picture ptit just linked us to, I'm gonna go ahead an assume we've changed the definition of 'beautiful'. I love you Cord, but as a 'woman', even after several Tom-ba's I'd be like, "Woah, there 'pretty' lady, just 'whoa'. Let's er, just, continue talking. We just met."

Cutie, Cord! Why can't Britney get herself a makeup artist like yours? One question- why are your eyebrows redone so high? Are you going after the Botox look, a la Gwen Stefani?

Nah, just the drag queen look.

I kind of like Cord.

Is it wrong I think our bitchy comments are funnier? We have themes and shit. I see not even one Tom-Ba joke. And there had better not be. That's copyrighted.

Cord as a women, well, you look a lot like my uncle Sandy. He's and aunt and an uncle all in one.

Cord looks exactly as I imagine Rachel. Is that weird?

lale — I picture Rachel with the entire verizon network behind her, but they are all related to her and each one represents a different ailment or a specific area of experiential knowledge.

No, juju, it's not wrong. :)

i heart cord. that's all for now.

oh yeah, and I propose a tomba in honor of Cord remaining a man…damn, he's hot. where the hell is Kitchy?

DRINK!

Seriously, y'all…where IS Kitchy? Did she take a six-week vacation that she forgot to tell us about?

Those commies were as funny as Paris Hilton doing stand up comedy. Try to imagine that scene for a minute.

sar, pretty please post your drunken email to Cord and David on your website, oh please, please. It's been a terrible Monday so far, and I need something to perk it up.

Come on SAR. Monday is really sucking.

I tried to mix things up, but Rach isn't biting. She's probably at the "hospital," "visiting her kid." Didn't Courtney Love use the same excuse?

BTW, my son was playing saxophone along with the song while I was watching Cord get his makeover. He made me replay it like 10 times. I was giggling like crazy every time Cord takes a sip of wine.

I might need your prayers, people. I may have earned a first-class ticket to hell for that one.

i chuckled, does that mean i'm going down too?

I think that's how Britney gets ready for a show too. Make up, wine, make up, wine, eyelashes, wine, chinese food, wine. Except she drinks Jack Daniels.

Thanks, AA. I was just trying to appease Juju and make it ugly.

I appreciate the effort. I don't want to be lonely in hell.

Yeah, no problem. Next time I'm down (proverbially or literally), I'll post it so someone can kick me. Karma, baby!

Cord, you totally should of used the Dove "Evolution" song as the soundtrack. Maybe remixed by Fischerspooner?

Whoops I just saw that request. I actually went looking for it and found that I never e-mailed Cord, just David H…. and it wasn't very entertaining. I haphazardly deleted like 1400 messages last night (sick of planning to go through my inbox) so now I'm pretending like it's not there. Pretending not to have the e-mail is just another sign that I'm acting out or something. First it's the ambien post on here, then yesterday I deleted everything, and then tonight I cut my own hair, followed by total denial of any weird e-mails.

What could be driving me so crazy? Probably I'm worried about Owen.

hey, my "heritage" one wasn't as bad as saying Cord looks like "sexual chocolate."

Whatevs! Sexual Chocolate is the name of the band in Coming to America. And it is now slang for sexy. You didn't have to make that racial. People aren't made of chocolate.

SAR-
i didn't think ppl are made of chocolate, but that would be cool.
i asked because he looks like a halfy, doesn't he?

and it was a joke.
A joke.