This is a sad sad little man. You have to wonder what he asked for that she said no to for him to get so vindictive.

"She then gulps Johnny’s snake like it’s some type of watermelon."

Is this being ghost written for him be a 9 year old?

I don't get the watermelon or snake reference for that matter. What kind of snake? Garter? Anaconda?

This is so vile, it took my virginty away. Thanks.

WAIT. That was a sarcastic thanks.

Who gulps watermelons? That's what I was wondering…

Wow. He's seriously gone WAY beyond "selling out" his family… it's amazing what this piece of shit has done for money. I hope it buys him enough meth to OD & die a shameful, piss-your-pants & choke-on-puke sort of death.

I take it back. That was rather harsh. I don't even really like Madonna that much, but if my sister did that to me, I'd have to punch her in the mouth.

whitney, you know i love you right? this is one thing i never needed to know. seriously. that's a bad whitney. bad.

I really wish I had NOT read the full article.

What a jerk.

And what a fucking shitty writer.

I have eaten a lot of watermelon and have sucked a lot of cock, and I can promise that the two actions are not the same. If anything, eating watermelon is more like eating pussy.

I have heard he is a cokehead who only wrote the book to pay his drug debts.

I was thinking that this Johnny fellow must be good with a beej. Considering he left Ciccone partially deaf. "Sounds wonderful"…do I need to buy him a ear trumpet?

This is fake…

Andrew, you're right about the first part–watermelon is nothing like a beej. But I also really hope you're wrong, and my vaj doesn't have the consistency of watermelon.

what the fuck???

Bet everyone feels silly for overreacting to that Angelina and James Haven kiss now!

I don't believe this story for one reason. If jizz makes you a better singer, I should be Oxana Arkaeva, the Ukranian born soprano and a winner of numerous international competitions such as "Operalia" Placido Domingo world opera contest and St. Hertogenbosch international singing competition.

Thats what I get for googling opera singers to make a joke. My apoliges.

Is the Chris Ciccone blog fake or real?

Does anyone know?

(Real or fake… I think he is a famewhore and a fuckwit for having written the book at all…)

Killer point, sar.

I also apologize for not being able to spell apologies.

This has got to be fake. It sounds like it was written by a high schooler enjoying a masturbation fantasy. If he actually wrote like that, no publisher would touch him, no matter how good an editor he had.

I hope the book was better written than this. More evidence that Madge wrote the book.