what? you've never thrown the first pitch at a ball game in hooker heels? prude.

Those aren't hooker heels. Those are minimalist cleats.

and the little shorts make her move faster; kind of like a law enforcement cheeta.

Those shorts make her ass look dumpy. Or maybe her ass makes the shorts look dumpy. Anyways, 2 wrongs do not make a right. Maybe a left; but definitely not a right.

Oh, god Dei, I loves me some Dangle.

when i saw this post…i blurted out loud… very loudly in fact…

IS SHE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

so i put the question to you:

is she?

she's not STM…she's one of the girls that stands in the mirror before walking out the door chanting, "I'm sexy"

Aw, you guys…dont make fun of her. She's a hooker with a heart of gold.

Mariah is permanently mired in 1998. I bet she has a one-shouldered top on under that satin mini-bomber. Oy.

The Geordi La Forge glasses really complete the outfit.

I cannot look at anyone in jean shorts and not think of Tobias Funke.

I went into Kragen Auto Parts store last weekend.

Most of the posters, boxes of car part items, and car part magazines at the check out had pictures of women wearing clothing just like this.

I have to disagree, there are many appropriate venues for that outfit. They all just happen to have a gem or some sort (diamond, sapphire, emerald) in the title.

iris: she's not just mired in 1998. she's about to be mired in the astroturf if she's not careful in those dagger heels. maybe that's the excuse for that strained smile…she's stuck.

Smokin' body though.

She's still stuck in denial that "Glitter" bombed.

Seriously, look at what she's wearing. She totally stole that off the "Glitter" set and then served ice cream off a cart to the dazed bystanders at this baseball game.

"Wait, you mean I'm not on TRL?"

cait please tell me you did not see glitter. if you did i might have to detox you.

deimos, i saw glitter.

but wait, wait!! in my defense, i was playing hag to my favorite fags and we were drunk.

that doesn't excuse it, does it?

i know it doesn't.

i also saw that britney debacle with the same boys.

and drop dead gorgeous. but drop dead gorgeous is an AWESOME movie and i will fight anyone who says differently.

you're a good hag stm but this just will not do. the only thing that can fix this is an audit and some tomba. if it makes you feel better i'll be doing the audit and i will be drunk so i won't remember anything you tell me. :)

Drop Dead Gorgeous (Denise "I Can't Be Bothered To Learn The Minnesota Accent" Richards notwithstanding) is a great flick. A little twisted, super funny and it'll getcha talking like teenaged Midwestern beauty queens for a week.

"Most smartest."

bah!

[Mariah's outfit still toootally sucks.]

Those that don't have a gem in the title will most definitely be named after an animal. At least here in Texas. Which is funny on its own, for a lot of the local oil companies have the same names. I always have to ask my boss which Jaguar I am suppose to deliver to.

And since this post is about Mariah, I would like to add that Clinton and Stacy would not approve. And I wish Lt. Dangle is the only person who can pull off short shorts.

I don't wish, I know he pulls the look off.

I totally get the "never nude" vibe from this outfit.

It's like a 14 year old trying to dress like a Girl Next Door-Mom won't let her wear the booty shorts.

Please don't detox me. ::pouting::

Anybody who thinks that very high heels, jorts, or fake hair are not considered cute in Japan, has obviously never been there! Actually, the Japanese hosts of the TV show that aired footage of her at the game (you can see it on another gossip site, am embarrassed to say which site but I think you can probably guess) did question her sunglasses, of all things, but only because she was wearing them inside the dome (yes it's a huge indoor stadium, Tokyo Dome).