
Michael Jackson turns the big 5-0 today and said he plans to celebrate by having cake and watching cartoons with his children. Would you expect any other answer? The singer went on to say that he feels "very wise and sage but at the same time very young." Seriously, we could write these responses ourselves.
So now that the birthday stuff is out of the way, let's get to the main issue, shall we? The photo at right was taken Wednesday at a Las Vegas Planet Hollywood, and we had to stare at it for a good five minutes before realizing it wasn't a wax statue. There's looking like you've had some work done and then there's looking like something out of a horror movie, and Jacko has managed to give us nightmares. So, uh, happy birthday Mike!
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He looks like a hybrid of Hef and Jessica Alba.
Did you ever have a relative that was sick and/or elderly that you were afraid to touch because they looked so frail?
That's what he looks like.
Was my relative's body shaped like a long stick of gum?
Gumby?
jammie pants?
I was thinking as I looked at this picture:
"Where is Suri? Boy, Kate sure is feeling bad about the Broadway thing. She's even hiding her purple fingernails."
I feel very sorry for this confused man.