Vegan't Stand This Guy

Bald raver and teamonger Moby, who once bragged to us in a restroom that, save for one egg, he’s been vegan for 22 years, reveals in the new issue of Spin magazine that he used to date Natalie Portman. He then claims that that relationship is part of the reason he’s universally loathed.

“I guess in some people’s eyes, [nerds] might be mildly sexy - and, as a nerd, I’m certainly happy to enjoy some of the effects of that. But as far as the very brief affair that I had with Natalie, it’s made me a target of a lot of nerd wrath…You don’t date Luke Skywalker’s mom and not have them hate your guts.”

It’s not just nerds, Baldo. Thanks for ruining Natalie Portman.


Feb 22, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 20 Responses
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Comments (20)

No. 1 blah says:

Moby is the reason I will never be a vegan.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 10:48 am
No. 2 jill says:

Ew, I think I like Natalie Portman a little less now.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 11:14 am
No. 3 Addicted to Addiction says:

Natalie is and always has been one of those girls that I really want to be friends with. I just think she’s cool. And good for her for going for a an unconventional dude.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 11:43 am
No. 4 Kitchy says:

Wouldn’t people have to know about it in order to hold it against him?

Moby, I don’t hate you because you violated Luke and Leia’s mom. I hate you because you’re an overrated, arrogant, self-righteous ass.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 12:07 pm
No. 5 vita says:

he (moby) could be right.

perhaps that is why “hot rod” tanked. samberg and portman were
dating prior to the release.

nonetheless, richard hall is still a douche extraordinaire.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 12:41 pm
No. 6 morieris says:

I just love the way fat albert is staring at the cake in that picture. It begs to be captioned

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 12:51 pm
No. 7 akra says:

I’d never particularly liked Moby. Then I read somewhere that dude hands out calling cards to women he meets out at clubs and shizz - inscribed with something like, “I really want to fuck you.” That did it for me. I guess even lovely Natalie is subject to the occasional wolf in vegan-hipster’s clothing. Stars! They’re just like us!

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm
No. 8 janice says:


Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 1:48 pm
No. 9 akra says:

And, if the creepy vegan is to be believed, how crass (and self-promoting) to talk about it, especially when she never has. Clearly, I’m not the only one who’d never heard of this unfortunate coupling.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 1:54 pm
No. 10 Jeebus says:

Er, he’s a bit of a wad, but I do like some of his music. Play is a great album.

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 2:28 pm
No. 11 blah says:

ohmygosh, I never saw the fat Albert connection until now. Brilliant!

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 4:58 pm
No. 12 chela47 says:

People have told me I look like Natalie Portman, and I’ve never slept with Moby - Cord, you can crush on me! Perfect solution.
And, A to A, I also have always thought Natalie could be a very cool bird to hang out with. Shoulda gone to Harvard…

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 7:44 pm
No. 13 ilnazhad says:

Not becoming a vegan because Moby is one is like cheating on your wife because Hitler didn’t.

PS Yeah, yeah.. Hitler analogies are cliche, but they are the easiest to comprehend

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 11:37 pm
No. 14 ilnazhad says:

(Oh, I’m not equating the sin of cheating and eating meat.. Eating meat is a convention. I just think they are both unethical.)

Posted: Feb 22, 2008 at 11:38 pm
No. 15 Sonja says:

Scarlet is dressed like a potato-bag!?!?
Never dressed in a flatering way… strange…

Posted: Feb 23, 2008 at 6:27 am
No. 16 blah says:

il - I only said that because I can’t stand that guy. It’s like saying, I will never smile with my eyes because Tyra insists that her lemmings do it.

Posted: Feb 23, 2008 at 9:28 am
No. 17 ilnazhad says:

I know that’s what you meant… I just didn’t know you were kidding. I’ve got to work on my radar.

Posted: Feb 23, 2008 at 9:57 am
No. 18 evil twin says:

Hitler didn’t have a wife.

Posted: Feb 24, 2008 at 11:27 am
No. 19 ilnazhad says:

“Eva Anna Paula Braun (February 6, 1912 ??? April 30, 1945) was the longtime companion (and ultimately, wife for a night and a day) of Adolf Hitler…

…Hitler finally married her during the early hours of 29th April 1945, in the F???rhrerbunker in Berlin, and they commited suicide together on the following day. She died by a cyanide pill as Hitler shot himself.”
Ah, a real-life Romeo and Juliet… =)

Posted: Feb 24, 2008 at 2:00 pm
No. 20 ilnazhad says:

Wow, this lack of Recent Comments has made me waste way too much time on Mollygood… I think I’m going to have to start timing myself again.

Posted: Feb 24, 2008 at 2:02 pm
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