• Natasha Lyonne lives! But really, is a life without crack really worth living at all? [US Weekly]

• Contrary to rumors, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are not getting married yet. Wonder which one is the committment phobe. [A Socialite's Life]

• Naomi Campbell did not get arrested this week. And by "did not" I mean "totally did." [Celebrity Nation]

• Tori Spelling is even more rich, bitch. [Celebitchy]

• Save Sienna Miller from the human stain that is Jude Law. Since Katie has been a lost cause for a while now. [I'm Not Obsessed]

• Madonna is sick of Guy Richie's sperm, plans to adopt. [DListed]

• Jessica Simpson chooses Dane Cook to co-host the Teen Choice Awards, party in her pants. [WWTDD]

• The Angelina Jolie nose job rumors have been around for a while now. You look at the comparison and decide. I refuse to believe my personal Mother Teresa would do something like that to me. [CityRag]

• A Colin Farrell stalker somehow got her ass to the Tonight Show yesterday. I hope she stood in line for tickets just like the rest of the audience. No special treatment for crazies. [IDLYITW]