Y'know how we've been all flippant and snarky (we hate that "word" but it seems appropriate) about The New York Times as of late? Complaining about their bullshit, hokey, juvenile coverage of "chick flicks" and TV chefs using the f-word? Well, bilious as we've been, we haven't harbored hatred for the paper, just an acute feeling of disgust with wasted opportunity. It's hurt us to see pages of drivel that could have been used for good. Today, however, we officially hate the Times:
ONLY one thing stood, or lay, between Alexandra Avlonitis and domestic bliss after she renovated her Roxbury, Conn., bathroom: the toothbrushes. Each one was a different size, ergonomic shape and amalgam of voluptuous injection-molded plastics. The only thing they had in common was that none fit into the handsome toothbrush holder she’d bought.
…
Joanne Rowe, a certified hand therapist in Manhattan, said that people with arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome, or who have recently had hand surgery, might find a toothbrush with a wider handle more convenient. “If you have a hand injury and you need to hold your toothbrush with some force, it will be easier to hold,” she said.
You'll be displeased to know that this goes on for THREE FUCKING PAGES!!!!!!!!!
But soft, not everyone has embraced the insanity: "Both Colgate and Johnson & Johnson declined to discuss their stockier toothbrushes … " Until right now, we had always hated seeing corporate fat cats snow the media.
Editor
Wow, I just skimmed that and my eyes almost started bleeding.
Preachin' to the choir here. My favorite was "The Terrible Toll of Art Anxiety" from a couple weeks back–a "crippling malady" afflicting the wealthy. Next it will be "Ennui hypochondria." Though I did think the Styles' "Drunkorexia" expose from awhile back was hilarious.
This is why I only read celebrity gossip. At least I can't be fooled into thinking I'm reading something educated…I know it's garbage (well-written and witty, but still garbage) from the get-go.
God, that's inane.
::reprise of my bad, effete german accent:: but ewe guise, zhere is nosink ghoin kon rrrite nahw. Eye meeen, zehr ees laike, no noose. No vaaars, or faimnes of diskovereese. Ees laike, zoh YAWN.
Well, I haven't read the article but I can understand these frustrations; take for example the antique household fixtures; you cannot find a real antique toothbrush holder that will accommodate the modern behemoth that is the American toothbrush. Everything was smaller back in the day; doorknobs, handles, clothing even. I love vintage garb and I know if a skirt is a size "4" vintage then it's a goddamn "2" in real life. What were we talking about here, The New York Times? Ah yes, the paper, well in the good ole' days you'd have to search far and wide for this story, lucky for me though, I can just go online and immediately find this article and skip all the "world news" and "economy problems". I'll start to pay attention to those "stories" as soon as an official apology is given to the American public for the media's LACK of involvement in the drum up to the Iraq war.
I'd rather 100 inane articles about tighty-whities vs. boxers than one more Judith Miller.
Breaking News! Stop the Presses!!
Toothbrushes come in different sizes: Holders challenged
Well who reads those annoying sections like Art & Style & Leisure & Travel & so on? That's not real life anyway.
The Science Times section on Tuesday is really good and online, the Freakonimics, Health, and Tierney Lab blogs are great.
I gave up on the NYT decades agon. Great stuff for filling up the "stuff white people like" blog site.
The art anxiety one killed me. I agonize over $150 for a painting, and they were complaining about people hemming and hawing over $20,000. Plus you're judged on what you pick, which means you have to do research, instead of randomly having fun blowing your cash.