Keep the Epidural, She Needs an Anesthesia Beer Bong

baby

It used to be that at the top of the list of reasons I'm glad I wasn't born a woman—a short list, feminists—was because my parents disclosed to me that they tossed around "Marigold" as a name for a daughter. That's now been replaced by the knowledge that, simply by virtue of not having ovaries, I will never be forced to squeeze something this size out of one of my sex organs.


baby2baby3

Jul 20, 2007 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 22 Responses
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  • Comments (22)

    No. 1 Kitchy says:

    Oh my God it's bugging me how people are going on about this.

    She is a perfectly normal size. She's just carrying it all in front - look at other pictures, absolutely nothing goes to the side.

    Belly appearance is not an indicator of baby size.

    Heavens, the last few weeks of pregnancy are annoying enough with people thinking they have a right to rub your belly at will, and going on about how you're about to pop and how you must be soooo uncomfortable. The last thing people need to add to that it "Look how HUGE you are!"

    And thus ends my Naomi rant of the day. Now I'll just talk about how she's probably crapping a lot and has hemorrhoids.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 6:47 pm
    No. 2 blah says:

    I think she looks adorable and she's lucky that she's the "cute pregnant" rather than the blobby looking type. When I'm pregnant, I want there to be no mistake about it! I want people to clear the isle because the pregnant lady is waddling down the isle. I don't want them thinking I've just put on a few pounds…of course I say all this with the disclaimer that I want my body to go back to normal 1 hour after giving birth.

    I've never been pregnant, but it bugs the hell out of me when people feel that it's ok to just go up to pregnant women and rub on them. Why do people do that?!

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:03 pm
    No. 3 Kitchy says:

    She does look adorable. And she certainly doesn't seem uncomfortable. Every picture of seen of her, she seems perfectly at ease.

    And blah, I will never understand why people think it's ok to rub a woman's belly simply because she's pregnant. It makes me want to rub their ass in return.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:06 pm
    No. 4 blah says:

    My friend Billie was so beautiful when she was pregnant (she really had that whole glow that everyone talks about). This woman came up to her and put her hand on her belly so Billie did the same thing to the woman. She was sort of fat, and the woman got sooooo upset at her. I laughed my ass off.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:09 pm
    No. 5 Kitchy says:

    That's awesome! *lol*

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:09 pm
    No. 6 blah says:

    of course, what sort of creeped me out was that I used to be able to see my friends baby move! Yikes, she was wearing a shirt one day and I could see a foot or something move across her whole stomach. I'm telling you, that's like Alien vs. Predator crap!

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:10 pm
    No. 7 Kitchy says:

    I used to love doing that. Watching a bump go back and forth or up and down.

    This is making me want another baby. Don't tell my husband.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:12 pm
    No. 8 blah says:

    Does it hurt? Something like that rolling around in your belly I think would hurt. I've had my fair share of Taco Bell so I think I'm speaking from experience :-)

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:14 pm
    No. 9 Kitchy says:

    It didn't hurt me at all. It felt really cool. Every once in awhile a kick would catch me in the inside of the rib cage and smart for a minute, but nothing too painful.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:17 pm
    No. 10 evil twin says:

    My son used to like putting his butt right up in my ribcage and I would lose my breath and have to just rub on that spot until he would find a more suitable position.

    My friend Sarah used to get really annoyed in her last few weeks of pregnancy when strangers would gape at her and exclaim, "Oh my gosh, you're so big! When are you due?" and stuff like that. One day our waitress did this to her at lunch, and before she could say anything, I gave the waitress a withering look and said, "You are so rude. She's just fat." Then we started cracking up.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:23 pm
    No. 11 celia says:

    Kitchy at el, you're all full of shit. that is one huge-ass stomach and i would not look forward to delivering that giant-sized baby. i don't understand the need for defensive denial — it's the simple truth that this woman is carrying around a monster-sized fetus!

    on the other hand, the problem with men not having babies is that it makes it that much easier for them to leave the woman who does. :-(

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:29 pm
    No. 12 evil twin says:

    Oh, I'm sure she's got an 18 pounder in there.

    She is completely normal-sized for God's sake.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:34 pm
    No. 13 blah says:

    She was really petite to begin with, so of course anything protruding from her otherwise flat stomach is going to look big.

    evil twin - that's awesome. My mom told me that when I was little I went up to an old lady in church and asked if she was pregnant or just fat. Ah, I was a smartass even then.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:39 pm
    No. 14 celia says:

    she is not normal-sized. she is huge. which should make for a healthier baby with a massive birth weight, say about 10.5 lbs. time will tell. :-)

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 7:50 pm
    No. 15 irisolive says:

    maybe she's having twins and nobody knows it

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 8:20 pm
    No. 16 jujubees says:

    My last one was a little over 10 pounds (I have 4)and I'm smaller than Naomi.I pretty much gave birth to a 3 month old.

    Anytime someone made some comment about how I looked huge, I wanted to throw my cell phone at their head.

    I guess they thought they were being helpful in case I thought I was like a size 2 or something.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 8:33 pm
    No. 17 BabyYaYa says:

    Holy cow, I sure miss a lot when I go away for a little while.

    I think Naomi looks adorable. She is carrying all in her belly. I used to get some really strange looks towards the end of my pregnancy. I had twins and was ridiculously huge, and you should've seen the way people looked at me like I was an alien.

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 10:24 pm
    No. 18 April says:

    short list… ba-zing.

    her belly is huge (no clue to normal carrying size - its just big). SCARY

    Posted: Jul 20, 2007 at 10:27 pm
    No. 19 Alycia says:

    So, you are taunting us then Cord! :) Then again, maybe you just know what'll get us yammering and rocket the number of hits to the site to show your advertisers. :P

    Regardless, she looks adorable; that's what I want to look like - content and happy while I waddle down the street.

    Posted: Jul 21, 2007 at 4:30 am
    No. 20 arieschic says:

    yeah she is pretty big, but I have honestly seen bigger! There was one girl who I went to college with who's stomach protruded probably about 4 feet in front of her! With all three of my kids I was really tiny. I was eight months pregnant and people would be surprised to hear that I was pregnant at all! I always wanted to have the big belly, though.

    Posted: Jul 21, 2007 at 12:31 pm
    No. 21 monkey says:

    Not everyone with ovaries is gonna squeeze out "something this size", you know. Just cuz you have the equipment doesn't mean you have to use it.

    Posted: Jul 21, 2007 at 11:35 pm
    No. 22 cypress says:

    Build a ark.. or carry a lifejacket.. that's gonna be a nasty water break.. She's adorable and it's a boy.

    Posted: Jul 23, 2007 at 6:41 am
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