‘BABIES ARE THE NEW BLACK’ “Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag will spend the summer staging a fake pregnancy, a new tabloid report claims. … ‘This summer, Heidi plans to wear loose clothes and even strap on some padding around her waist to make it appear as if she’s about three months along. The plan is to get the baby rumor mill going so she can get photographed more. She and Spencer won’t confirm or deny the pregnancy so they can keep everyone guessing.’”
In light of the California Supreme Court decision to overturn the ban on gay marriage, Ellen DeGeneres — lesbian, host, friend — announced during a taping of her show yesterday that she will marry longtime partner Portia de Rossi, who was in the audience at the time. At the revelation, the audience rose to give DeGeneres and de Rossi a standing ovation. (We started tearing up while writing this; it’s so damn overdue and cute.)
The Sex and the City ladies are now taking Germany by storm, and thank goodness Sarah Jessica Parker decided against wearing another bird on her head. And is it just us, or is it odd that the movie still has yet to premiere in the city in which it’s based?
[Source]
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. “Don’t be a vulture, learn your culture.” — Flavor Flav, Flavor of Love 3
Look! Star got a photo of Jessica Simpson’s ex-jock, Tony Romo, out in Chicago with a new girlfriend, one who looks amazingly similar to Jessica Simpson. Snooze. Clearly, these meatheads are not heeding our advice.
Aaron Carter has parlayed his recent marijuana possession charges into newfound fame: Nick’s younger and somehow uglier brother will be joining the next season of VH1’s Celebrity Rehab.
Also joining him will be Heidi Fleiss, Hollywood madam extraordinaire, and former Skid Row front-man Sebastian Bach, who seems to be making the D-list reality show rounds (see also: MTV’s Celebrity Rap Superstar).
Aaron was only caught with weed, correct? Is that seriously grounds for rehab? Surely there are enough celebrity addicts out there better than Hilary and Lindsay’s ex-love puppy. Unless it’s some sort of d-bag rehab, in which case we’re on board.
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• Ha! The balls are the legs! He’s walking with the balls! Jeez, why isn’t Amy Sedaris more famous? (By the way, totally NSFW) [Queerty]
• “Christina Aguilera or Transvestite?” [CityRag]
• Mariah Carey demands bodyguards stand watch at bathrooms she uses. Gather from that what you may. [Yeeeah]
• Madge’s adopted baby isn’t hers again. [ICYDK]
• Mischa Barton now lives in Paris, where there’s cheese and butter in everything. Take that, all you mean dipshits saying her legs and butt are “gross.” [INO]
• So, that little kid on American Idol is unstoppable, huh? [PS]
• Paris is in London being a real Antwerp. (YES!) [DListed]
Huzzah! People in charge of laws that govern other, different people are finally starting to make sense:
The California Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.
The justices released the 4-3 decision Thursday, saying that domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage in an opinion written by Chief Justice Ron George.
GOOD INFLUENCES “Britney Spears and Mel Gibson are currently en route to Costa Rica on vacation together. … We spotted them leaving on a private plane to the Central American state early this morning. Sources tell us that Mel is taking Britney and her father Jamie for a mini-vacation.”
THAT’S OUR SEANY BOY! “At the opening day jury press conference [at Cannes], Sean Penn made a pitch for the first-ever jury prexy’s choice screening of the tsunami doc ‘The Third Wave;’ called George W. Bush’s politics ‘evil,’ and said, ‘film is about art, and art is about love. The brain has a purpose in connecting with the heart. When someone works without a brain or a heart they kill thousands of people around the world.’ Admitting that he was ‘not comfortable in a group of people like this,’ Penn asked one journo, ‘can you get me a drink?’”
So we’ve gone a little crazy with People’s archive of covers — 34 years X 52-ish issues a year = too much content — and one of the better searches we’ve done is “Sexiest Man Alive.”
There have been the classic choices — ZOMG Brad Pitt!! — but also some incredibly bad choices. For example:
• Nick Nolte (a-hem)
• Sean Connery at 60 (”Older, Balder…and Better!”)
• L.A. Law’s Harry Hamlin (quote: “Certainly when I look in the mirror, I don’t get turned on.”)
• JFK Jr., who is dead, which makes us sad, but OK, he’s still incredibly attractive
So what can we learn by perusing the archive of People’s sexiest men?
The polar bear was today recognized by the Bush administration as a “threatened” species. This means that, under the Endangered Species Act, the majestic, apex predator of the Arctic is just one step away from endangered and two steps away from extinction.
Indeed, scientists are concerned. But the Bush administration doesn’t give a fuck about scientists. Nor do they give a fuck about you, your kids or your kid’s kids. That’s why there’s this little addendum:
A threatened listing under the Endangered Species Act (ESA) is supposed to provide broad protection to polar bears. Greenpeace, however, noted an exemption (technically known as a 4d exemption) for global warming pollution contained in the ruling.
“Global warming is the biggest threat facing polar bears and this exemption eliminates any real protection the listing could have provided,” the group said. “It specifically says federal agencies don’t need to consider the impact of global warming pollution on the polar bear.
“This might look like a listing to protect the polar bear but it’s really just a way for the administration to protect the interests of the oil and gas industry, as well as get away without taking action on global warming.”
Lil’ Wayne, encouraging kids everywhere to just say no:
I don’t do too many [drugs]; I just smoke weed and drink sip. But I’ll never f–k with no more coke. It’s not about a bad high, it’s just about the acne: Cocaine makes your face break out, and I’m a pretty boy.
[Source]
PETA participated in a demonstration yesterday in D.C., but we stopped paying attention to the message due to the fact that the group’s tactics are so darn predictable. Putting naked or barely clothed women in cages and/or showers is probably not the best way to get those bigwig lobbyists thinking with their heads.
[Source]
Some horrible, but completely expected news from the Roommate Newswire: “i heard on npr this morning that the choices for real world bklyn are ft. greene and williamsburg.”
Get this: magic isn’t real. Neither is being a child actor. That’s why Draco Malfoy, arch nemesis of Harry Potter (at least he was the last time I cared), is practicing to be a singer.
Malfoy’s muggle name is Tom Felton and his muggle songs are too saccharine for this muggle-fucker to enjoy. What do you think?
Here’s the clip from the Angelina Jolie-Jack Black interview in which she confirms she is indeed carrying twins. It’s not exactly shocking, but it’s the most personality we’ve seen out of Angie ever, and the look on Jack’s face when he realizes he let the cat out of the bag is priceless.
Also: Who can turn down a good panda pun? Click through for video.
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WORST IDEA EVER “Remember all those over-privileged spoiled brats from My Super Sweet 16? Well, MTV has enlisted kids from past episodes to star in Exiled. … In each episode, each one of the kids is sent to a different third world country to live with a family and ‘learn’ the meaning of hard work and the meaninglessness of material possessions.”
Editor
