Perhaps it was foolish to have even a semblance of faith in Paris "Seriously, I'm Sorry" Hilton. Yes, the statistics contradict her promises, but trusting in math alone makes the whole world bored; and viscerally, for a moment there, didn't you think she might actually turn the proverbial new leaf? In today's Page Six, there's a report that she is turning leaves—many, actually. Unfortunately, they're tightly wrapped in Zig-Zag paper.

Paris Hilton seems to be up to her old tricks again. Although she told Larry King she'd never done drugs, the newly spiritual heirhead emerged from an SUV in front of Hollywood club Teddy's the other night in what witnesses describe as a cloud of marijuana smoke. "She took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face," one clubgoer told us.

Hello, Nihilism? Are you looking for new followers? Do you even care?

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