Paris Hilton Buys London Whorehouse

I Don't Wanna Be Here in Your London Dungeon

Sad money puppet Paris Hilton has purchased an East London building that once housed a brothel frequented by horny sailors. It's an odd investment for the Beverly Hills chihuahua, but even odder is that, for some reason, she's convinced her new building used to be a pirate dungeon:

It’s just beautiful. It doesn’t have regular rooms but is more like a maze. It used to be an opium den and still has iron joists where pirates and thieves were shackled to the wall.

Somewhere in London, a real estate agent is cackling all the way to the bank.

Oct 23, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 14 Responses

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Tagged: Ha Ha!, London, Paris Hilton, Pirates, Prostitutes, Real Estate, Thieves

Comments (14)

No. 1 JD says:

Oh Paris, any house you're in becomes a whore house.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 10:50 am

No. 2 Skaði (Skathi for you non-Norse speakers) says:

I don't wanna be here in your British hell

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 10:56 am

No. 3 gayledi says:

I wish I was a Southpark cartoon.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 10:57 am

No. 4 Haydn says:

Saw her wondering around Notting Hill the other day, wondered why she was over here.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 11:02 am

No. 5 April says:

prisoner's probably were shackled there… prisoner's of love.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 11:33 am

No. 6 oilybohunk7 says:

More like, prisoners of "Dear God I've been out to see with only men for the past year, point me to the nearest vag."

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 11:36 am

No. 7 Keeblerkahn says:

What do you expect from someone who bragged she was going to buy a Hummer hybrid. I'm surprised she doesn't think she bought the secret resting place of King Arther and his BFF Lances-A-Lot.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 11:44 am

No. 8 YerMom says:

I call bullshit on this quote, no way Paris used the word "joist" in a sentence. That is waaaay above her reading level.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 12:38 pm

No. 9 sar says:

JD made me laugh. I think I need to get to the Emergency Room.

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 3:10 pm

No. 10 chelsea says:

smart rich woman

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 4:32 pm

No. 11 UpChuck says:

Paris is moving to London and Halle Berry is moving to Canada. What the hell is going on? How is Obama gonna buy us food if all the rich people leave?

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 9:32 pm

No. 12 stickynose says:

Yeah! This stuck-up bitch is an even bigger spendthrift than Palin!

Posted: Oct 23, 2008 at 10:58 pm

No. 13 stopthe105. says:

ooh, i know this one, i know this one!

he won't need to buy us food.

he's going to start grillin' up all dem white womens.

WHERE DA WHITE WOMENS AT!?

or, if you are from down undah "THROW SOME WHITE WOMENS ON THE BARBIE, MATEY!!"

ok, i guess that one works if you're an australian pirate.

AARGH!

(wink)

Posted: Oct 24, 2008 at 3:11 am

No. 14 brendan conlon says:

lmao how dumb is she?

my house has pirates still in the attic if you wanna buy it Paris?

Posted: Oct 24, 2008 at 2:45 pm