Paris Hilton is feeling philanthropic! The only problem is, it’s such a foreign experience for her she has no idea what she’s doing (just like her first time with a black guy).

Hilton reveals, “I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I’m going to give a bunch of them to orphanages and children’s hospitals. I never wear something twice.”

Hear that, kids with leukemia? High heels will soon be filling your coffers like so much bullion. Don’t say she never did anything for you.

After the jump, more of this saint in just some of her “a million” clothes.


Sep 20, 2007 · Link · 56 Responses
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Tagged: Paris Hilton · Charity
Comments (56)

No. 1 jujubees says:

I’m sure those toddlers will love those shoes. Her assistant better get on packing her crap up. 8 year olds love, Versace.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:22 pm
No. 2 sadas says:

How about not buying a new outfit every single day???? then you could actually donate money to the poor starving dying children. what a dumb bitch

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:23 pm
No. 3 deimos says:

nicole ritche’s unborn baby is smarter than paris.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:25 pm
No. 4 jujubees says:

Sadas, that would involve her wearing an outfit more than once. That’s just cruel and unusual punishment. Look what happened to her when she had to sleep on rough sheets. She’s just a fragile flower.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:31 pm
No. 5 james_boston says:

doesn’t paris’ existence confirm that there is no God? there are people out there i love to hate but i just hate this bitch. please die a meaningless and hilarious death already!

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:32 pm
No. 6 jujubees says:

What would become of Tinkerbell? Where is Tinkerbell?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:34 pm
No. 7 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

That doesn’t even make sense…unless she saved all her clothes and shoes from the time she was born. What are the poor kids going to do? Play dress up to add a touch of Parasite “beauty” and a ray of sunshine to their otherwise dull, dismal and meaningless existence? Excuse me while I wax all existential on her clueless ass.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:37 pm
No. 8 parissucksliterally says:

so generous- giving clothes that you won’t wear, to people they won’t fit.
THAT’s a heart……so sweet!

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:38 pm
No. 9 Four Winds says:

I guess I would totally be grateful for semen filled clothing. YES!

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:41 pm
No. 10 ilnazhad says:

It’s pathetic how in the background of all her photos you can see people chasing after her with goofy smiles on their faces wanting to get a photograph.
I don’t care if they do it cause “they are amused with her stupidity.” I don’t find racist folk who mock the poor “entertaining.”

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:44 pm
No. 11 jujubees says:

I hope she doesn’t donate that crappy outfit. What the hell, did she just leave her Silver Sneakers class, Jazzercise? Being able to do, Fossey Fingers, is not a talent.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:48 pm
No. 12 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

I guess the Kids could pretend those fug shoes were toy zebras.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:54 pm
No. 13 jujubees says:

Barbie’s sporty zebra boat. Those are some big feet there.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 1:57 pm
No. 14 Mr. T says:

Wonk can’t even do anything charitable correctly. Who wants her old clothing?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:15 pm
No. 15 deimos says:

if i was paris i would spend a little less money on clothes and go get that wonk eye and witch nose fixed. bitch is very unforunate looking.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:16 pm
No. 16 ptit says:

Look, I slept with a black guy and it’s not all that difficult… Paris Hilton really is stupid.

(You just have to remember to ask them to take off their socks, there’s no bigger turnoff then seeing a black guy with nothing on but a pair of ultra-white athletic socks).

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:22 pm
No. 17 Mayjah says:

It is every sick childs dream to have jizz stained hooker clothes. I know if I were sick, that would be at the top of my Make-A-Wish list.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:29 pm
No. 18 evil twin says:

I wouldn’t throw Denzel out of bed for leaving his Gold Toes on.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:29 pm
No. 19 Mayjah says:

And you know those charitable organizations are going to have to spend all of their donations just to sterilize those clothes…unless of course they want to inflict the children with the herp…and god knows what else.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:32 pm
No. 20 evil twin says:

We get a fake Perez post and two for Oscar De La Hoya, but nothing on the comedy gold that is ANTM? Get with it, Common Cord.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:34 pm
No. 21 blah says:

Show me a 5 year old who wears high heels in size 11! What are little kids going to do in those shoes besides use them as canoe’s?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:41 pm
No. 22 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Bunnieballs, the Cordites are getting restless…I smell rebellion in the air…or maybe it’s just that recycled cheeto powder.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:59 pm
No. 23 evil twin says:

Give them to their cross-dressing older brothers/dads?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 2:59 pm
No. 24 jujubees says:

I tivo’d ANTM, where is my post???????????? I was half way to shit faced last night. It’s like doing the deed to get no O.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:33 pm
No. 25 evil twin says:

I think he is denying us purposefully. We should have been smarter than that and demanded that he NOT do an ANTM post. Then the whole site would be all about Baby TyTy today.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:38 pm
No. 26 jujubees says:

No ANTM but we got one about that new shitty show. Another show that makes me want to stick toothpicks in my eyelids. I forgot this was a post about Einstein up top.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:44 pm
No. 27 evil twin says:

Oh, who cares? Do we ever stick to the topic? Plus, we have to hijack a post if Cord won’t give us what we want. It’s our haggy way.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:47 pm
No. 28 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

“Mutiny On The Bunny”

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:49 pm
No. 29 evil twin says:

So, I’m loving Ebony. That chick is GORGEOUS, darlings.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:53 pm
No. 30 jujubees says:

Was she the one who went to camp, t zone? I don’t know if I’d want to go to a camp that promotes my oily spots.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 3:57 pm
No. 31 evil twin says:

No, I think that was Lisa. Ebony was a flat out bitch that everyone already hates, but she is seriously a beauty. I also think Ebony was the one they were saying was anorexic.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:06 pm
No. 32 jujubees says:

Oh yes. She’s going to be the new Jade/Lisa. But, she has a heart of gold beneath the bitch.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:07 pm
No. 33 April says:

could someone explain to Mila that college graduate is not an occupation. thanks.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:13 pm
No. 34 Marie says:

ET — My first thought was, “She’d be better off giving those shoes to cross-dressing men like our Cord.” Great minds, etc. (Me and my size 10 boats don’t have much room to talk, but I get a pass because I’m not Paris-fucking-Hilton.)

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:18 pm
No. 35 evil twin says:

Don’t we all?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:19 pm
No. 36 jujubees says:

I’m a size 8 and I shouldn’t be since I’m not very tall. Short person, big ass feet. It’s the big foot club.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:35 pm
No. 37 sar says:

8 isn’t big! I prayed as a little girl that my feet would never get bigger than a size 6. And that’s exactly the way it happened, if you use european sizing…. Like, I was supposed to be specific?

April, I have a feeling College Graduate takes up all of Mila’s time and energy…

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:38 pm
No. 38 April says:

im short, im an 8, my feet arent big. suck it juju.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:41 pm
No. 39 April says:

and by *it* i mean my left tit, cuz i dont have an *it* in the traditional sense of the term “suck it”

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:42 pm
No. 40 evil twin says:

I’m 5′6, and wear an 8, so is that still considered short with clown feet?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:42 pm
No. 41 jujubees says:

April, admit you have chewbaca feet. My mom is only one inch shorter than me and she’s a size 5. Don’t cry bigfoot, I still love you.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:45 pm
No. 42 April says:

your mom just as iy bity feet, like someone cut off her toes or something. Don’t lie, you know it!

my feet are fine! FINE I TELL YOU

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:46 pm
No. 43 sar says:

April, juju’s mom’s feet are beautiful, they are in the shape of a lovely lotus flower.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:58 pm
No. 44 jujubees says:

Whatever, “Those aren’t my pants”, Lohan.

I should bind these clod hoppers like they used to in, China.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 4:59 pm
No. 45 sar says:

Lindsay “That isn’t my asshat” Lohan

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:02 pm
No. 46 jujubees says:

Linday, “I didn’t have sex with your husband in the bathroom”, Lohan.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:03 pm
No. 47 April says:

Lindsay “im just having fun like a normal crack addict” Lohan

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:07 pm
No. 48 sar says:

Lindsay “I’m so sorry about what I did to you but not sorry enough to take back what I said in the press” Lohan

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:10 pm
No. 49 April says:

Lindsay “the nxt jodi foster” lohan


Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:12 pm
No. 50 sar says:

OMG! Truth!

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:14 pm
No. 51 jujubees says:

Lindsay, “I can’t believe I was in rehab”, Lohan

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 5:15 pm
No. 52 blah says:

I’m 5′5 on a good day and wear a size 9. I hate feet. They are the grossest thing ever, except those freaks that have some weird obsession with feet.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 7:27 pm
No. 53 jujubees says:

I hate feet too. I know you need them and all but, nasty. They’re shaped funny and look weird. It’s like the crotch of the ankles.

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 9:58 pm
No. 54 sar says:

Am I sick if I like feet just fine and I don’t like ankles?

Posted: Sep 20, 2007 at 10:28 pm
No. 55 jujubees says:

I think we should all seek some professional help.

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 at 9:44 am
No. 56 blah says:

I totally just lost it juju…”the crotch of the ankles” is priceless.

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 at 9:59 am

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