In 2001 Courtney Love contacted Anthony Pellicano about making her problems to go away. At the time, the woozy singer was tied up in legal woes, losing money and worried that her former assistant had hacked into her computer and stolen personal information. Pellicano, “PI to the stars” (especially Chris Rock), said he could help her. After all, it’s what Italians Sicilians do.

After the jump, highlights from the Love-Pellicano conversation.

• CL: “I’m so confused by this divorce that it’s getting in the way… I really love this man, and he came out of a really bad marriage. This is a divorce case that has dumped everybody. It’s mostly Jewish people dealing with it, but if you’re Christian, or you were raised Christian, it’s like, ‘ye who enter the valley,’ you know what I mean?”

• CL: I need everything from refinement to fucking baseball bats, and I need them all under one roof
AP: Courtney, if you come to me, that’s the end of that. I’m an old style Sicilian. I only go one way. My clients are my family, and that’s it. You fuck with my family, you fuck with me.

• AP: Now if I can determine that I can trust you, and we have a meeting, there are lots of things I can do for you. Now all of these conversations have to be between you and I. You cannot betray me, you understand? You cannot have conversations with lawyers…
CL: I like talking to an Italian!
AP: Sicilian
CL: Well that’s even better

Hear the entire conversation here.