If a stunted, cruel human being attaches his name to a hastily designed line of clothes, will anybody care? No, they won't! Not at all, in fact, as a report from the Saturday debut of Perez Hilton's clothing line indicates:
Some freaky lil employee [of a Hollywood Hot Topic] with a handful of wrist bands asked if I wanted to meet Perez Hilton at 6pm! I was like NO, I just ate. NO one wanted wrist bans (sic) it was kinda funny.
(cue the Nelson laugh)
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Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa
You're just jealous!
Wait, I'm sorry. I spelled that wrong.
UR JUST JELUS!
I am not going to lie, the word semen in the title gave me hopes that it was actually involved. I feel let down.
BHH, you totally stole me idea!
I was also kind of hoping someone actually drew on Perez with semen. Except he'd like it.
"Would you like to meet Perez Hilton?"
Appropriate responses:
No thank you, I just had a prune danish.
I'm sorry, I'm running late. I'm getting testicles run over by Robbie Knievel in 10 minutes.
Why, did I do something wrong?
Are you threatening me? (sprays person with bear mace and runs away)
Can't I just give back the Care Bear shirt and spiked wristband I stold and promise never to come back to the store?
"Who?"
I echo that Nelson laugh.
Karma's a bitch, baby. And she ain't your bitch, 'rezzie.
Gawd, he's disgusting. Wonder if he'll go poop his pants out of despair. Blech.