that bitch stole my house.

Ouch, why'd you have to hit me over the head with the "Pink Garden" euphemism?

now this post totally sounds like cord. you were starting to make us worry bunnie.

Dude, that's next door!!

Where will the margarita machine go?

next to the toilet, duh!

Singular?

I hope you'll throw Britney an appropriate "Welcome to the neighborhood" party.

the shot carousel goes in next to the cribs.

I'll be playing quarters with Britney by Saturday. YEE HA!!

just be sure to stay clear of her lower region kitchy…i hear the fumes can kill you in 30 seconds flat.

What about the stripper pole? You know she will.

She can borrow mine.

Don't let her sucker you into babysitting.

She won't be back for 3 days. But hopefully she'll leave you with some pepsi bottles for the kids.

*Making mental note to put Crest White Strips on my shopping list.

Babies and their yellow teeth, so gross, dang.

her poor neighbors, that other house is really close.

Thank you, April. I'm glad someone is sympathetic to my problem.

IF I were you, I'd be on the phone with my realtor right now.

Kitch, your pool is gorgous. I really like that balcony too

No, no, I'm on the other side. Just off to the left of the picture.

You might want to get new blinds. She may like to sunbathe in the nude.

or the home owners association, this is ridiculous, she will absolutely bring the property value crashing down. Thunder thighs could do some serious damage to the lovely stucco on your house while shes running by trying to get a beer back from SPF

"You might want to get new blinds. She may like to sunbathe in the nude."

Nothing I haven't seen before.

You, me, and the rest of the world.

i decided i'm going to dress as britney spears for halloween…but I'm having trouble deciding between the VMA's outfit, or a poop stained gown. Any suggestions?

Maybe I should sunbathe naked.

poop stained.. an homage to bunnie

I wonder how many dog poop/baby poop/vomit stains there are. And how many cigarette butts are just waiting to be found throughout the spacious, well-manicured yard.

No cigarette butts. She puts them in with the kids' Cheetos, adds fiber to their diets.

I'd definitely go poop-stained. The VMA outfit only allows for a frozen margarita in one hand. Poop-stained, you can go with cigarettes, Cheetos, and a frozen margarita.

poop stained it is. I knew I could count on you guys to give me some originality. i think i'm going to do it for real. i hate haunted houses and they are dragging me to one, but if I go as britney, they will all be scared of me! its a perfectly diabolical plan.

I'm off for today, have fun…

Not to mention, you can also just lift your dress and pee anywhere you like.

I'm going as SPF. I'll be in just a diaper and tank top carrying a bottle of soda and a few packs of smokes for Mom.

I'm going to be the lone descenter and say VMA. I think eating a few burritos and beers will help really give you the perfect beer belly. Who here had that bedazzler?

Then I'm going as KFed. I'm going to staple a bunch of baby dolls to a wifebeater and I should be all set.

I'll Paris Hilton. I'm going to wear a t shirt with my face on it and staple crabs to my crotch.

I'll be Paris. I won't do her or anything. I haven't had the proper vaccinations for that kind of foolishness.

I'm thinking Brandon Davis' big fat brother. I can wear a blankie as a sarong, speak in tongues, and get away with passing out at my host's party. Plus I get extra points for not sucking in my tummy, which is new for me.

Or I can just hike up a skirt so my cellulite shines through, mat down my greasy hair, throw on a pair of Keds and go as Mischa Barton. Either way.

Don't forget the mini mu mu on top of your mini skirt. Two mini's make a Mischa.

Thanks! I could also just wear a super low-cut top and no bra, then go as Kirsten Dunst. Also okay to get drunk and sloppy, then, which is what I really need.

Ok I hear everyone talking about her putting whitening strips on the boys teeth but where did everyone hear this? I have missed that one. Is there any true proof of this happening? Just curious.

who can photoshop, because I vote we all email them our halloween picture, and photoshop them together then send it to Cord as a mollygood exclusive…

Someone contact Allure stat. I want the Britney treatment.

Sounds like Rachel wants to whiten her kid's teeth, too.

I want to whiten my dogs teeth, stinkin butt licker.

My cats have ass-breath, can Whitening Strips work for them?