With the impending American release in November of her book, That Extra Half an Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between, it's obvious that Victoria Beckham is on her way to being much more than a hanging thread in the American cultural tapestry. And that is unfortunate, as it means that, like many charlatans before her, her omnipresence will lead to augmented power and ambitious, misguided clones. In other words, we as a nation will be forced to see her phlegmatic, jagged face – and others like it – for years to come.
The main gripe I have with this book and its author is that neither promises to offer anything of actual value. Instead, they breeze along on a placid ocean of so-called "experience" ("I've always been a girl's girl," Beckham said in a statement. "And I know from experience that making the very best of your self is something any woman can do.") despite the fact that, for the past 13 years, Posh's experiences – those very things from which one draws "experience" – have been limited to shopping and seeking out coveted hairstyles. Don't we have enough books about "looking good"? Harper Collins, Beckham's publisher, doesn't think so, describing the text as such: "That Extra Half an Inch will offer guidance on everything from how to dress on special occasions to 'how to feel confident and look great every time you leave the house.'" And there's the ruse, people: "making the very best of your self" doesn't have a thing to do with how your hair or heels look. Becoming the best person one can be means striving to reach a mental plane where one doesn't give a fuck that they're not half an inch taller.
That anyone believe she's "in on the joke" and completely self-aware exacerbates her public persona, as it blankets her indulgent bullshit under a guise of playfulness. But there is no joke on which to be in. The "superficial idiot role" isn't a role once the actor spends their days buying $200,000 gas guzzlers and $4,000 makeup bags. That's real money and real irresponsible behavior. The verisimilitude between her so-called "role" and her so-called "real life" indicates that she is, in fact, a superficial idiot, and there's no reason she should be listened to about how to become a better person.
Let's not forget that, by her own admission, Victoria Beckham is a "girl's girl." Why don't we instead look to herald a woman's woman?
[Source]
Editor
Little behind the times, Bunnieballs? This book is WAY old news.
You go, Posh. You are MAJOR.
Is this bitch talking about the extra skin under my chin? Some of us didn't lose all the weight after allegedly giving birth to three damn kids.
Woah, that was an awesome semi-rant against La Beckham machine, but you do know you're preaching to the opposite of the choir. To the waifs and strays that love their back alley lives and don't feel so guilty about their heathen pleasures, Mr Preacher man?
Mollygood commenters have already pledged big love for Lady Beckham so you might wanna save it for a less lost cause.
She must have that purse in every color. I can't help it, I'm a whore for shoes and purses. I'm easily distracted.
amen cord!
C'mon, seyour, Bunnieballs doesn't want any love from us anyway. He's proven that time and again.
But that doesn't mean he won't whine like a 2-year-old when he doesn't get it.
I love Posh, and I will get the book so I can smirk through every last page while drinking a glass of wine.
Some famous dude once said that the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about…
If you dislike her so much, don't discuss her. It's your blog, do with it what you like! If you do post (OLD) news stories about her, be ready for a litany of comments from crazy fashionistas running to her (sort-of) defense, myself included.
There are a lot of other actors who spent idiotic amounts of money on cars, clothes, homes, etc etc yet you fail to attack them. Why?
Her shoes kickass. But Cord already knew that ;-)
I've had that picture on my computer for weeks now, drooling over the shoes.
Thanks for reminding me Kitchy. No love for Bunnieballs.
Besides, it actually is very entertaining and welcome when Bunnie picks up old news stories just so he can bitch about a topic again. So in that way, he is serving his posters. Or at least me.
The story sourced came out four days ago on the AP. Granted, old news in the UK, but not America. Then there's this: "There are a lot of other actors who spent idiotic amounts of money on cars, clothes, homes, etc etc yet you fail to attack them." Really?
http://www.mollygood.com/rache.....-20070425/
http://www.mollygood.com/paris.....-20070320/
http://www.mollygood.com/eva-l.....-20070707/
If you want to like Victoria Beckham despite her idiocy, go ahead, but don't try to attack me for disliking her.
Best,
Cord
And the conversation somehow always leads to Beckham, tom juice, baby wipes, or Rachel in 3..2…1…
Posh and Becks really get under your skin, don't they, Bunnieballs?
Best,
evil twin
Funny that other sites reported the book and I preordered it two weeks ago then isn't it?
And I ask again - why is that when Bunnie's contradicted, he's here in a heartbeat crying his supposed defense, but he can't be bothered to acknowledge any kudos?
Bunnieballs,
Let it go.
Oh, and I like her because of her idiocy. And her shoes.
Best,
Be Ad
I hate it when I forget to sign off by giving Bunnie my absolute "best."
BeA - Congrats! You got the Wizard to step out from behind the curtain. Huzzah!
You're right, Kitchy. Bunnie only talks to us when we call him out on something, but when we are nice and agreeing with him, he goes into the Witness Protection Program. For this, he surfaces, but for a 400+ post, we get nada.
And it's probably safe to say that your Posh digs outnumber any other Paris, Bilson, or Wva dig on here by a lot (yep that's my math term), I'm just too damn lazy and busy to count them
or even Eva in fact, as well as Wva (West Virginia dig?)
"…when we are nice and agreeing with him, he goes into the Witness Protection Program."
We will find you, Bunnieballs. We gots connections.
I was wondering what in the sam hell Wva was.
I love it when he speaks. Breaking the fourth wall always makes me giddy. We could turn it into a drinking game, take a swig of your Tom Juice everytime he comes out from behind his curtain. It'd be a mighty slow game as he doesn't do it often enough BUT that Tom Juice is potent…
It is a shame Bunnieballs won't acknowledge kudos though…
Problem is, he rarely comes out more than once per thread so we couldn't get very drunk on Tom-ba Juice.
Once he's proven wrong, there's generally nothing more to be heard.
Maybe he blushes easily….sam hell Kitchy are you turning into Yosemite Sam? Or is that something only 30+ say?
Wonder what I've gotta say to get Rachel to appear as well PREGNANT WOMEN ARE CRAZY CANNIBALS
Will they both (Bunnie & Rach) come out swinging if we say something derogatory about breast milk and its production?
Don't let her fool you.. Poshy has never even been pregnant. What a ruse! Those three boys are all little David clones. They can do that in Britain now. (Remember Dolly the sheep?)
I had the babies for Posh. I really have only one of my own, my other three births were on behalf of the Beckham family.
I would've breastfed the Becks kids as well, but since they were whisked off right away, I wasn't able. You have to hold them in order to make milk.
Oh, and as far as I'm concerned, Poshy can take her book and shove it up her bony arse! And yes I know…
BeA! ha ha ha, you are nuts! Santa is seriously bout to appear.
Kitch: maybe we can take a swig whenever Tom Juice comes up? Much more frequent drinky time. Also, will you please be Yosemite Sam for Halloween. Only sexy. Cause Halloween is "dress like a slut night" according to all costume manufacturers. But hell, that would be funny, all sexy with a HUGE stash!
Kitchy that was very generous of you to help David with the fruit of his loins
Well I'll be tarnation, them there's a hurricane, I know all about those cause I'm an epileptic
Somebody's gonna get sued for not using the correct term of "Tom-ba Juice."
Sexy Yosemite Sam, huh? Let me think on this.
I was watching Meet the Parents for the umpteenth time the other night and when DeNiro says, "I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?" I about fell out of my chair thinking about the Nicole Richie post. I can't remember who brought that up, but I know it was said.
We own the DVD and I put it on that night just to see that scene again.
Brother Cord,
PREACH!
The tide always turns, the pendulum always swings to the opposite side. I can NOT WAIT for women to put away the girlish silliness and become women, women of intelligence, of thought, of compassion. But for now I'll have to clench my teeth and wait for the rest of America to tire of these overrated "girls", the ones whose claim to fame is who they're having sex with and how much money they've spent that day on their shoes…
I had no clue she even had the last kid. I read she had 3 and thought, where'd she get him from. Now I know.
For the record I don't necessarily disagree with Bunnie, there's a lot of stuff that really bugs me in the world (epileptics, useless pointless outlandish expenses, midgets, Anne Coulter) but knocking Posh on here is kind of like walking into a snake den…with deadly snakes…and wolverines…probably not a good idea. And at least she's IN ON THE JOKE
Be A, you will definitely feel the wrath of Santa, I know it.
Oh scooter, those school girl days of telling tales and biting nails are gone.
I'm not sure what bugs me more - Anne Coulter or midget epileptics.
Maybe it's a midget toss-up.
Go ahead and add Scooter to that list too
I am Scooter Butt! Behold my Bunnieballs Jefferson leg!
Butt Scooter…ridonculous
Naked Becks pictures and all is forgiven.
I tried to use ridonculous in a civilzed conversation, I got a blank stare. It's going to catch on, I can feel it.
You know what I just realized makes "ridonculous" an even better word? Say it in the Bronson Pinchot voice from Beverly Hills Cop.
"Of course not, don't be ridonculous!"
Juju, where do you live? Ridonculous has been around long enough to have been shortened to "redonk" where I am. And my younger sis who lives in FL knows about it too - but that could be my fault.
I wish Cord still made poems each week with people's best comments…he'd have some great ones from the last few weeks
I'd be willing to bet "Bunnieballs" wouldn't make into the poem, though.
"Mollygood, Bunnieballed and Racist."
I'm in Texass. We must get the cool lingo last. Of course Balkie is 80's and I wasn't even here then. I was probably high and missed it.
I much preferred that to the haikus. Not that my dislike of haikus has anything at all to do with Bunnie. I've merely absolutely hated haikus since elementary school.
Yeah I never understood the big deal about them…probably too busy talking about shoes and other girlish nonsense
I like the haikus, but definitely miss Mollygood, Bad and Racist. Also, what happened to Caption This?
Oh yeah!!! Those were funny. Maybe the Bunniballs Wizard will indulge us this Friday
I love the, Caption this on Dlisted. OMG, where do they get those? They make me laugh so hard I choke on my Tom Juice. You don't want that going down the wrong pipe.
juju, don't make Kitchy put you on the lawsuit list. It's Tom-ba juice. And…everybody drink.
I'm drunk.
You know, I saw a white van with a ladder in my neighborhood today. I tried to look like a topiary till it passed by.
Crap Kitchy, I hate when you don't tell us it's drinking time.
I've made up my own secret Tom-ba Juice game. I won't tell anyone the rules or you'll steal my Juice.
*hiccup*
Make mine non-alcoholic…the last time I drank Tom-ba I woke up in Tijuana with 3-4 midgets and Corey Feldman, in a tub full of dill pickles, NOT a pretty sight
Yeah the pickles really need to be sweet and sour in order for the whole scenario to work.
Oh, lord, post THOSE photos.
I want to caption it. Corey looks like he's just 2 inches from being a midget.
Night Ladies (??), have fun drinking!
Were the midgets epileptic?
And were they breastfeeding? I have to know.
Did they just make an omlette?
Don't you mean an "omlete?"
No Juju they made OMLETES…night ladies gotta run midgets calling :-) Don't have any fun w/out me!
The extra t is for tiny.
or it's silent :-)
Excuse me, but I prefer to be called a "midge." It sounds cute, no? And I am not epileptic, so don't confuse me with that loser Rachel. I'm just tiny, cycloptic and have hooks for hands. Thank God- I'd hate to be her!
smidge of a midge huh?
Where is that jerk? I was hoping she'd answer my call out.
Four things, really:
1) I am the milker of the nipples, Evil.
2) I don't care how praying mantis-like she is, I still love Victoria Beckham.
3) I think it's high time we create a Tom-ba Juice/Mollygood drinking game. If I blog about it, will y'all assist in creating the rules and regulations thereof?
4) Bunnieballs, the WPP has got nothing on the Cretans…I mean, the Tom-ba Juice Corporation. ;)
what is irisponsible about spending that much money, in correlation to the amount she has? Its her money… her spending 4000 dollars on a makeup bag is less irresponsible than my buying 50 dollar jeans.
You see, what seperates the British from us commoners is their subtlety…
Sure, Cait, let us know when you're ready for us to invade.
My, my, Cord. Aren't we superior….
I know I missed all of the yummy conversation yesterday (damn work, what the hell) but fruit of his loins about made me lose it…I don't know why I think that is so funny, but I do.
And Cord doesn't have yoga as an excuse for ignoring his stalkers - ahem, lovers - anymore. My pink yoga mat et al arrived yesterday. :) Thank you Bunnieballs. I'm very excited by it.
I don't really mind her, she's only doing what she knows and all she knows is well fashion.
She is good at what she does though and I dont' want to hate someone just because they're not deep enough or not smart enough for my taste, it takes all kinds and she is another.
Your posts read like essays written by a kid who has just discovered the thesaurus. It's a little embarrassing given that you must be in your 20s at least. The irritatingly self-righteous tone is another thing. I just don't think the 'insights' you seem so proud of are really valid. If you hate the concept of celebrity so much, why do this job?
Your comment reads like a missive written by a kid who sees no problem with $4,000 makeup bags and cars that cost more than two or three disaster relief homes in New Orleans. It's very embarrassing. The irritatingly whiny tone is another thing.
If you've parsed the post above and it looks to you like I'm just saying celebrity is unfortunate, you need to improve your critical reading skills. Does "look to herald" sound anti-celebrity?
Best,
Cord
Exactly becuase if we look to herald a woman's woman, then feminism wins!
SCORE 5 FOR FEMINISM!
Cord must really need those hugs, Jossip staff. Please don't wait until noon.
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