so there's a rehab program for being a fat annoying bitch with to much time on your hands?

Fuck you, Cord. It is "jealouse," with an E!

wait a minute, did cord give us permission to be "boisterous"? that is so fucking awesome.

you forgot about LiLo's relaspe and accidental fetus cord.

I wish Cord wasn't such a good editor… because I'm finding celeb gossip fucking boring.

I bet Megan Fox gets loaded, cuts off a bouncer's balls and then ODs (like MM). That or continues to be irrelevant.

beyonce and jay-z will get married and then divorce when beyonce catches jay-z with a tranny hooker named candy.

See, I was thinking a Lilo accidental fetus too, but then I realized she's a seasoned pro. She's not about to make any Jamie-Lynn rookie mistakes.

I predict an Elizabeth Hasselback DUI, and a remarriage for Spears, to a parking violations officer.

I'll take the sure bet and predict Paris will dance on tables and show off her ass flaps.

the cops will find a mass grave of puppies in paris's backyard, all of which are wearing costumes and fuzzy dog sweaters.

tara reid will clean up her act and land a role in a major movie. hahaha, it's fun to pretend.

Jessica Simpson will announce that like Jamie Lee Curtis, she suffers from androgen insensitivity syndrome. Jamie Lee Curtis sends Lindsay Lohan to beat Simpson up. They were last seen canoodling at Nobu.

spencer pratt will decide that gay porn is in fact his true calling.

tom brady will knock up giselle and then leave her for a hotter, less pregnant girl.

lauren conrad will start her new career as a playboy bunnie.

sorry, i'm leaving soon so i have to get my posting in now.

David Beckham will take his balls back from Victoria by force and knock her on her scrawny ass where she belongs.

janice, I will take your parking violations officer and raise you a paparazzo. This will be followed by an 'accidental' leak of their honeymoon sex tape when Britney returns it to Blockbuster in place of 'The Land Before Time XXIV.'

The San Francisco Zoo will have a "douche for a day" free admission, and they will be flooded with the likes of Spencer, Paris, KFed, JR Rotem, Brody Jenner, K Kardassssian, Mushy Fartone, J Alba, Perez, Blaaaaaake, Huckabee, J. Edwards, and various other upstanding members of the media

That will be Sir David and Lady Victoria Beckham to you jbonz you commoner.

Paul Rudd will get a divorce and marry Ilnaz Nazhad.

BALE will take off all his clothes and sit on Be Ad's lap (with a towel of course, ewwwww)

Tyra Banks will continue to make us deeply ashamed of Tyra Banks. But on the upside, more vagina puppets!

Tom Sizemore and Lindsay Lohan will date. Then Dina will steal him and date him as well.

What, no Ali Lohan pregnancy prediction yet, guys? Come on, get with the program!!!

john mayer will continue dating super hot chicks who will only use him to have rebound sex!.

Ashley tisdale will date co-stars Dylan Sprouse and Cole Sprouse at the same time.

Vannesa hudgens dates chris angel and gets into a fight with britney spears over who gets to spend more time with the crazy dude.

Katie holmes cheats on tom cruise and leaves him for football super star david beckham and run away to england, leaving victoria with tom. and they will live happyly ever after.

Zac Efron will get his period while wearing white jeans, thereby destroying the myth of his maleness.

Britney will marry an insurance salesman and move into a life of seclusion in a little ranch-style house in Iowa.

Tommy Lee will fall to his death after tripping on his own gigantic penis.

Nicole Kidman will decide to stop getting Botox, and within one week she will look like the Queen Mother.

Keith Urban is going to hit the sauce again, but this time he's going to get serious about it.

Democrats will win the white house, but then they won't be able to figure out what to do with it and everything will pretty much stay the same.

Lindsay Lohan will have promiscuous sex with everyone in the entire country, except me.

The eHarmony matching system will become self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:14:05, it will match Paris Hilton and K-Fed in an effort to destroy humanity as we know it.

Winehouse will OD - Britbrit suicides. Lilo is knocked up. Paris gets the baby "she wants".. by Kfed. Obama wins ! Jessica Simpson will marry Tony Homo but papa joe will be caught with his fist in her cookie jar.

Um, I sort of love Bald Nomad - almost as much as Sarah Conner's bicepts.

Oh, BaldNomad, I think I love you!!!

Ali Lohan will be in the clubs.
Christina, Nicole and Jessica Alba all sell 1st baby pics. (I predict girl, boy and boy)
Brit loses kids and crys a tell all to one of the rag mags.

I predict that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson will split up.

I predict that Heath Ledger will die.

(I'm so sneaky.)

— We'll probably never know for sure exactly what the hell is wrong with these people—

Sadly, these are Trauma based Mind controlled victims who are being used for many purposes incl. sex-slavery, message couriers, assassins etc.

Reading: Brice Taylor's "Thanks for the memories" and Cathy O' brian's "trance-formation of america".