Who would have thought that at the end of the day, Paris Hilton is the most put together of the club-frequenting starlets. This weekend proved to be rough for Lindsay Lohan, shown here on Saturday night dressed as an American Apparel model (or 80s fitness instructor, whatever) and Friday night in lingerie with a bejeweled whip. X17 has some video of Lohan acting like a crazy and TMZ relays this story from early Sunday morning:

At 6:45 am, a TMZ spy spotted Lindsay at Olive and Sunset in Hollywood, near a dog park. Lindsay was sitting in her parked black Cadillac Escalade and our spy, who was walking his dog, could see Lohan through the tinted windows, "freaking out" and talking on her phone.

Then, Lohan called our spy over and told him that two men in a silver Toyota 4Runner — parked behind her — had been following her for the last two hours, trying to "hit" her vehicle. Our spy reports that "she seemed out of it," that it appeared she'd been out all night, and that she'd clearly been crying, with mascara running down her face. "I've called the cops," said Lindsay of her alleged pursuers. "But the cops can't catch them."

The men following Linds were, of course, her normal paparazzi friends. Perhaps she should look into a chauffeur. Just a thought, because in those videos she does not look like she is in any state to drive.

Meanwhile, Nicole Richie (no pictures yet, but soon I assume) was busy collapsing at Hyde. Yeesh. TMZ reports:

We're told it occurred just before 2 a.m., when Richie passed out and fell to the floor. An employee approached Richie and her friends and said he was calling 911. Sources say they told the employee not to make the call and that they would take Richie to a hospital. The friends then carried Richie out of the club through the back door. TMZ does not know if Richie went to the hospital.

Dare I say that Nicole and Lindsay could really use their own Elliot Mintz? Because though Paris gets in her own minor trouble, she's not nearly as far gone as these two. Yikes.

[Source]