This is being cataloged with Lilo being hit by a motorcycle. There has to be something bigger in God's plan for taking them out.

Oh man. That had so much potential as another great shark week episode!

And people wonder why I like sharks…

From here on out he will now be known to me as Ryan "I Was Bit By A Shark" Seacrest.

Bit by a shark. And a cougar, too. But that was Teri Hatcher.

He probably took one bite and thought he tasted to douchey and spit him out.

maybe! all reality show hosts can get bitten by progressively bigger sharks for a motherfrickin shark week promo!

I'm throwing Tyra in.

Cover Tyra in BBQ sauce first, JuJu.

Redface? That sounds so… Disney!

We can tell her we're doing a shark makeover show. Sharks really hate it when you try and give them extensions.

Bitten!!! Not bit by a shark. Bitten by a shark. English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!!!

"Bit by a Shark" is the new "Friend of Dorothy"

Calling him "shit" is a little bit strong. Me not likey.

Seacrest - bit by a shark but ok
Lohan - hit by a bike ok not really
Hollywood - devastated by an earthquake that they will financially recover from in 25 minutes

here's what i think. i think that now that TV's contract with the devil is up, he's just gonna fuck around and see if he can scare the shit out of them.

coexxi - i think it was supposed to be a joke about the shark digesting him

Bear with me, (no pun intenend just yet):

I just am tickled that a man named Seacrest got bit by a shark.

And in other news: At the rodeo, World Champ Bo Vine Horner was gored by a bull.

He was attendend to by medics on site, and is expected to see a full recovery.

This just in, be carefull while backpacking in the mountains, because today, Forrest Klaus Bruin is telling of the horrors of his run in with a big old bear. They have some sharp claws.

At the aquarium today: Alvein Piscine had a run in with an angry school of anchovies.

He was immediately airlifted to a trauma center, and recieved an application of neosporin to the affected areas.

Ok. I'm done now.

hahaha queen