Scott Baio has officially succumbed to the dignity-raper that is VH1. Look for him in the upcoming reality show 45…and Single. If the title alone isn't enough to make you embarrassed for someone you've never even met, here's how the network describes the show:
…staring down the barrel of middle age, Scott has come to the end of his philandering rope. At 45, he finds himself at a mid-life crisis of mythic proportions, wondering why he's still single, alone and still unable to settle down and commit to a substantial, meaningful relationship.
With nowhere else to turn, Scott has decided to fully surrender the next eight weeks of his life to a highly-regarded life-coach. This person will guide him on a grueling, soul-searching mission; forcing him to confront a laundry list of old flames in order to hopefully get to the heart of his lonely heart condition.
At a recent press conference, when asked why he would subject himself to such sanctimonious scrutiny, Baio mumbled, "It's either this or the noose." Prompted to repeat himself clearly, Baio said, "Oh, nothing," and wept.
Editor
i had the biggest crush on him when he was on charles in charge and diagnosis murder
You mean Joanie DIDN'T Love Chachi!?!
lol apparently not forever
Perhaps the BLONDE is his girlfriend?! If so, he better get down on bended knee and propose ASAP! Oh wait! Pamela Lee–one of many of his ex-girlfriends, is currently SINGLE & AVAILABLE!
He was so hot back in the day.
dude, he was so hot. funny little note; in korea, the term "jonie loves chachi" can be translated to "jonie loves penis". the word "chachi" sounds very similar to the korean word for penis. i used to live there, and all my korean friends would crack up over this.
The man, the mystique, the Chach! You can find a poor man's Scott Baio in any bar on any given weekend. You'll know him by the Italian horn dangling off of a herringbone chain around his neck. Whatever you do…don't let him take you for a ride in his IROC-Z.
SUICIDE IS NEVER FUNNY AT ALL.
Another beloved ex-teen idol and young star JONATHAN BRANDIS "chose the noose" just a few years ago. His grieving fans certainly did not find anything humorous about his tragic death.
It is quite obvious that the INTERNET HATEMONGER who wrote this disgusting piece of HATE SPEECH deserves to experience the SUICIDE of his or her own MOTHER who really should take her own life once the poor woman realizes what a MONSTER she had given birth to.
ANYBODY WHO'S LAUGHING AT POOR SCOTT BAIO BECAUSE OF THIS SLANDEROUS FALSEHOOD IS CONDEMNED BY GOD AND MOTHER MARY TO PERSONALLY EXPERIENCE FOR THEMSELVES THE REAL-LIFE SUICIDE OF A VERY CLOSE LOVED ONE IN THE NEAR FUTURE SO THAT HE OR SHE WILL KNOW WHAT IT'S TRULY LIKE TO LOSE SOMEONE THEY LOVE IN THAT MANNER.
Mordred, you are a fucking hypocrite.
I think im confused, its not ok to make a suicide joke but its TOTALLY ok so wish that lose upon another?
Dear APRIL,
Congratulations, whore.
You will be the one of the first to experience very soon the inevitable SUICIDE of a close loved one in your own pathetic existence so that you'll know exactly how it feels like to grieve over the tragic loss of one's close friend or relative.
I'll pray very hard to God and Satan that the potential future SUICIDE in your life will be your mother or father (who both secretly hate you and wish that they never gave birth to you at all.) Or perhaps your loser boyfriend who just took your virginity by raping you. (And you loved every minute of it!)
Have a nice day, April the whore.
Make the world a better place by killing yourself as well. Trust me. It will be a much better place.
"ALL I'M DOING IS GIVING PEOPLE INSIGHT IN WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME. SURE, YOU WANT PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT YOU AGAIN. BUT PROFESSIONALLY, IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, I'LL STAY HOME AND PLAY GOLF."
- Scott Baio in the article "The Famous, Or Formerly So, Stock Summer's TV Reality Shelf" by Gary Strauss.
SUICIDE IS NEVER FUNNY AT ALL.
Surely, the tragic death of JONATHAN BRANDIS a few years ago (the boy actually hanged himself because he was depressed over his showbiz career) ought to have driven home that important moral point to anybody and everyone.
In April's case, perhaps it will require the SUICIDE of a friend or relative she feels emotionally close to in order that she may ultimately comprehend how frighteningly cruel this hate-filled article versus Scott Baio really is.
May the good Lord make it so. For her sake.