Beloved purveyors of indie rock for grandmas, The Shins, have had their shiny image mussed with this blog entry from onetime Next Top Model contestant Elyse Sewell:
On the drive home (home?) from Albuquerque to Portland, my ex-boyfriend got shitfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz.
Sewell’s “ex-boyfriend” is Martin Crandall, keyboardist for the easy-to-like band made famous by the equally easy-to-like Garden State.
When police arrived, Sewell and Crandall both pressed charges. Crandall remains in jail, unable to post the $25,000 bail. (Nice band mates!)
I think you’ve made a typo - its Crandall that wasn’t able to post bail, not Sewell :)
I love Elyse. She was awesome on Top Model and should have won that shit. She’s been doing a lot of modeling in Asia and is huge there.
One time, when I was like 12, we were driving back up to NY to visit family (we had just moved.) Anyhow, my dad, at some point, said, “look out for the fuzz.” I almost peed myself laughing so hard. So anyways Elyse talks like my dad.
“blitzkrieg of violence”
Did your dad ever, ever say anything this awesome, Lisa?
Unfortunately, no. Maybe that can be the Shins next single? Well, maybe a sideproject because BoV sounds metal as hell.
Screw the Shins, I am so starting a band named Precious Metal. First single will still be “Blitzkrieg of Violence.” Playla, can you play anything?
That is a freakishly long arm.
It’s a “phantom limb” moments after “fighting in sack.”
Playla: is it at least a theremin of death and/or destruction?
Yep, it’s a theremin made from the bones of murdered children…got it on ebay.