The hell with the naysaying. I say a bit of poetic practice is a healthy respite from the din of the world. And how does that old bit of wisdom go? "A haiku a day keeps the dipshits away," is it?
Despite the purists who argue that haikus can't rhyme, today's winner is cinekat:
Smoke now, swear later:
On the treadmill she'll need a
defibrillator.
Nice, cinekat.
New Someone Haiku is under the jump.
Today, flex your poetic muscles over this sad news(?) item from Defamer, in which a nail salon employee has offered to trade celebrity nail clippings for the services of a math tutor. This is funny, depressing, beautiful and zeitgeist defining all in one. It's also very arable land from which to grow some amazing haikus.
Good luck!
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For Gwen's, I'll teach trig,
But for Calculus I'll need
Janet Jackson's nails.
Dehumanizing,
Lady it is not worth it.
Send him to trade school.
-or-
Lessons for toe nails?
She's one smart manicurist-
Weridos know their math!
-or-
One hour sessions,
Affleck better know is math.
Shrimping 2 point 0.
Starlet fingertips
Funding junior high is cheap
College: Arm and leg
Famous clippings gone
Stupid Jimmy can't hack math
Square One fails again
money doesn't grow
on trees, but this kid's math facts
ain't his worst problem.
would stars leave real tips
instead of their fingertips
mom's dignity spared
Fingernail fractions
from famous females fund four
fail-fixing Fridays.
I am sick of the HAIKUS!
keep the nails yourself
your kid has bigger problems
a whack job for mom
Polish up those skills,
File away information.
Mom says: Nail that test!
I am torn betweek ertarox's social message and emstar's incredible alliteration! Great job you two.
This Haiku shit is stupid. Let it go!
Ghettofabulous
Please girl get a second job
Thats some nasty shit
Its pretty sad when you are so lazy and talentless that you have the readers write your blog for you. "Here's a picture, you write the headline." Jeeez… how lame
MollyLazy,
I got the idea from some of the laziest, most talentless idiots around: the staff of The New Yorker.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/caption/
Best,
Cord
I like the haikus and the HOYS because it uses some brain power and isn't just passively reading something. I also find it entertaining to read other people's creative endeavors. And some of these are really fun.
1) Thanks #1 Lisa! I love lew's "arm and leg" reference (brill, baby, brill) and danaleri's use of "ghettofabulous"
2) Molly, the haikus RULE. I totally agree with evil twin. I think uncreative people get frustrated and bitch. Please don't get rid of them!
For just a fraction,
a celebrity nail will
solve the word problem.
Math tutor wanted.
Desperate Manicurist
sacrifices soul.
"I got the idea from…"
You proved my point Cord… you're so lazy and talentless you have to steal others' ideas. Try doing something original…
MollyLazy, it's Friday, can't you just be nice and let us have our fun? We promise not to pee in your Cheerios if you don't defecate in ours.
MollyLazy,
If you dont like it, dont read it. In fact look to the right my dear. There is a list of other blogs you can frequent that maybe you wont find so "lazy." Or start your own blog. Clearly this one isnt up to snuff.
When you start yours- please leave the link. Im sure there are many of us here who would love to read it.
Celeb DNA,
Is so totally worth it.
I'll tutor the kid.
Why chew on your nail
Chew on a celebrities
Haute coutre chewing
sorry this isnt a haiku but if she works at an A list celeb filled nail solon you would think the celebs and other rich folk would give the girl a decent tip. expecially if she told them her her kid needed it. the bitch is a lier, she was just too embarest to say she wants to sell nail clippings, now her son has to go to school and be humillated ( sorry cant spell :)
Some of the haiku's are creative. What is #17 Ertorax referring to (brill, baby, brill)