In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is cinekat:
Kinky Friedman wants
his niche back, will trade you for
your hairdresser though!
Kinky Friedman references always win.
New Someone Haiku after the jump.
Today, haiku this public meltdown. The story behind the tears: Ellen adopted a dog, the dog fought her cat, she gave the dog away, the people who originally gave her the dog then confiscated it. No big deal, so why all the tears? That's for you to decide using 17 syllables. Good luck.
[Source]
Editor
I'm sorry, I just cannot get past that mop on her globe. What the hell is it?
little girl heartbroken
dog now homeless
no way to save animals
Canine companions
make the best friends unless you
prefer pussy… cats.
pussy's fight dogs
dog gifts to friends
pussy wins again.
Sorry, I have no haiku skills.
but you got mad crazy bedazzeling skills and that will get you further in life.
So true. Nobody ever asks to see my haiku. But who can resist my bedazzled bumpershoot?
i'm just too intellectually lazy to even try, but i wrote a mean haiku or three in elementary school.
Oh wait… guaranteed winner (Cord even said so)
It's a dog-gone shame.
Should the pup go back? Kinky
Friedman should decide!
Damnit, why didn't I use the Kinky?
Ellen's morph into Rosie:
Bad jokes
Pointless crying
Next? Failed magazine
Sugar Magnolia for the win!
Umm… for #3
Got the name check….
Got the really bad pun…
What else could Cord want in a haiku?
By the way, Cord, you
cut the video before
she says the punch line.
They've always said
comedians lead painful
lives. Those shitheads.
Wow, Ellen just made
a vegan say that it is
"just a fucking dog"
Is it sweeps week? If
you want to cry over a
lost bitch, book Rosie.
Woe to hairdressers:
Time with Jessica, Paris
Lose dogs, shave Britney
Back to the shelter.
It was a conspiracy:
Never trust a cat
Kinky Friedman! Help! Please!
Dirty pussy said I
Had Fleas~
Kinky Friedman!Ellen's enraged.
They put her damn
dog back in a cage!
Wookie or pussy?
Once again, the pussy wins.
Chewbacca on that.
Meh…I know, nobody gets it.
I get it. The dog does look like Chewy!
Ellen is crying -
This joke is going to be great!
Where is the punch line?
The above hiaku is based on the fact that I started to giggle when she started to cry - because it was so weird to see her crying.
No. 17 ilnazhad is fantastic!
No. 20 Other Karen is great too!
But Cord said Kinky Friedman always wins so…
"Give back that pooch!" says
Ellen, for once not dancing,
but still breaking down.
that one wasn't so much funny as it was true. Hmm… here's another try at that:
Pooch/Pussy drama!
Argyle socks and smart sneakers!
Crying lesbian!
Iggy is reclaimed!
Meanwhile, Brit's kids eat kibble,
Poo in the corner.
I totally got it, bedbugs.
Dowd, Krugman, Ivins:
Enough references to win?
Kinky Friedman, natch.
Why does Ellen weep?
The hairdresser doth threaten
To hue her locks green.
poor little ellen
blubbering on my tv
please book yourself in