Today: Masturbation Jokes: Make Them

In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you???re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that???s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that???s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today’s Someone Haiku winner is janice:

Tom Cruises By Puke:
Don???t Cry Over Spilled Thetans,
They Go To Venus.

Very well done. MyOpinionCountsToo was the second place winner.

A new Someone Haiku is after the jump.

This one of Clay Aiken in Spamalot practically writes itself, but, alas, not actually. That’s where you come in. “Choking the chicken” is a very easy one-liner, so be sure to pad it out with 12 other riotous syllables. Good luck.

Jan 17, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 24 Responses
Related Posts

• 02.12.08: Someone Haiku (Comments: 12)
• 02.07.08: Someone Haiku (Comments: 20)
• 02.05.08: Someone Haiku (Comments: 19)
• 01.31.08: Someone Haiku (Comments: 34)
• 01.29.08: Someone Haiku (Comments: 21)
Comments (24)

No. 1 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

If Eric Idle were dead,
He would be turning
Over in his grave.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:17 pm
No. 2 sexyback says:

He’s awfully proud
Of the flimsy cock in hand.
Looks quite natural.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:23 pm
No. 3 Sugar Magnolia (workin' from home) says:

wtg janice!

I loves me some Monty Pythin… I need to give this one some serious consideration.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:26 pm
No. 4 Sugar Magnolia (workin' from home) says:

Pythin = Python

(Told you I’m having issues)

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:26 pm
No. 5 deimos says:

choking the chiken
a private affair that should’ve
remained private, clay

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:30 pm
No. 6 Betty Ford says:

Clay and Spam and Cock?
Surely he wants to be mocked!
So show Full Monty.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:34 pm
No. 7 Lisa(#1) says:

Wistfully, Clay thinks

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:44 pm
No. 8 Lisa(#1) says:

Wistfully Clay thinks
Back on other cocks he’s held -
Mona Lisa smile.

Sorry about the above partial post, my finger got all happy and hit shift then enter. Sheesh!

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:46 pm
No. 9 Holla says:

The title of “Spam”
with cock in hand, is really
fitting for this ham

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:49 pm
No. 10 Sugar Magnolia (workin' from home) says:

Brave Sir Robin he
is not. Leave before I taunt
you a second time.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm
No. 11 MyOpinionCountsToo says:

Choking chicken
Isn’t nearly
as bad as the
HUGE PINK ELEPHANT

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 5:23 pm
No. 12 deimos says:

clay with cock in hand
and we all thought he wasn’t
ready to come out

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 5:30 pm
No. 13 Lily the Pink says:

Rubbery looking
talentless, red headed cock
no, not the chicken

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 6:13 pm
No. 14 yourmom says:

Cock firmly in hand,
Fingers grasped around the neck,
Tell me he’s not straight…

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 9:30 pm
No. 15 yourmom says:

Cock firmly in hand,
Fingers grasped around the neck,
Tell me he???s not gay???

Thats what I meant, but scotch makes it difficult to think straight

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 9:31 pm
No. 16 queencrone says:

YES! Good job janice and myOpinionCountsToo!!

I am proud of you both.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 10:03 pm
No. 17 blahblahblah says:

broken but not forgotten
even the upper echelon
soon ends swimming in
a sea of pink vomitus

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 11:08 pm
No. 18 queencrone says:

You’ve been a great audience
I’ll be here all week
order the chicken.

Posted: Jan 17, 2008 at 11:55 pm
No. 19 evil twin says:

Clay Aiken, not gay.
Just likes to choke the chicken.
What’s wrong with that, huh?

Posted: Jan 18, 2008 at 12:40 am
No. 20 Billy says:

A cock in your hand
Is worth two
In your bush

Posted: Jan 18, 2008 at 3:32 am
No. 21 Sugar Magnolia says:

Your father was a
hamster and your mother smelled
of elderberries.

Posted: Jan 18, 2008 at 10:25 am
No. 22 janice says:

Yay!!

I think I busted my haiku nut last week, cause this time, I’ve got nothing. And I LOVE Monty Python. But I hate Clayken.

You guys have some awesome ones.

Posted: Jan 18, 2008 at 1:49 pm
No. 23 janice says:

Watching Spamalot
Now worse torture than even
The comfy pillows.

Meh.

Posted: Jan 18, 2008 at 1:51 pm
No. 24 Lily the Pink says:

A big rubber cock
It will work for now, at least
Until he comes out

Posted: Jan 18, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Leave a Comment
Scroll Posts