"If You Could Save Yourself, You Could Save Us All/Go on Living, Prove us Wrong"

Ally Hilfiger, famous for her dad’s unquestionably hit-or-miss clothing and for once saying, “I’m so brain-dead,” is now proving said brain death.

She’s an artist (collaboratively so), and her partner, a slouchy DJ named Francesco, describes their work as such: “Warhol-esque Lichtenstein with a slight case of Basquiat.” (Translation: I am a spoiled turd who name-drops, and my art isn’t worth a fuck.) Hilfiger says she’s been focusing her efforts on painting variations on the number 8.

Asked to explain our generation’s creatives, Hilfiger said this: “Our parents’ generation, they were really all about really focusing on one thing…Our generation is into more of a multi-thing. It’s kind of like we’re our parents’ generation, but with ADD.” So, like our parents’ generation, but inattentive and lethargic? We were right about you, Ally!

[Source]

Jan 25, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 36 Responses
Tagged: Ally Hilfiger · Art · Francesco · Idiocy
Comments (36)

No. 1 deimos says:

would you take a look at that mouth! you could fit 10 dicks in there easy. as a plus the dicks would prevent her from talking.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:22 pm
No. 2 maria says:

painting variations on the number 8. coooool like infinity and suff? I swear to god I did the same exact thing in third grade.
And her teeth remind me of a joke: Yo mama’s teeth are so big, when she sneezed she bit a hole in her chest.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:24 pm
No. 3 fleenflan says:

Wow, SHE should have been the joker.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:25 pm
No. 4 maria says:

…it’s funny you should say “speak for yourself”…her mouth is so big I don’t think she has a choice.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:26 pm
No. 5 Blue Canary says:

Wait, our generation has ADD but she’s painting variations of the same thing over and over?

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:33 pm
No. 6 Smissy says:

Is that really her mouth? It looks like it’s been photoshopped!

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:37 pm
No. 7 blah says:

Jesus Christ. You take a half-semester of art and you think you’re a fucking artist. I can name drop too ya know, but that would be too Ally Hilfiger-esque

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:40 pm
No. 8 Jbo says:

HOLY SHIT - I thought that was a charicature (sp?) drawing of her. DAYUM she’s got an ENORMOUS pie hole! She used to be cute…

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:44 pm
No. 9 fleenflan says:

She could at least not paint her lips the reddest color out there. I’m going to have nightmares tonight.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:44 pm
No. 10 fleenflan says:

Anyone who has to say their artwork is like someone else’s in order to explain it to you irks me. But she seems like she doesn’t even know what she’s saying.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:47 pm
No. 11 Blue Canary says:

Fleen, I don’t think she ever knows what she’s saying:

“‘You know what’s cool? I don’t have to work, because I saved a lot of money from summer jobs and from the MTV show,’ she tells the magazine. Mm-hmm. She did work once though, on a show for Plum TV. ‘I might have gotten paid for it,’ she says. ‘I don’t remember.’”

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:49 pm
No. 12 Lisa(#1) says:

Maria: so farking funny. Hole in chest ::wipes tear::

People with gummy smiles should never wear red lipstick. Ever.

Fleen: she is full of shit. That is like saying I am like Dali with a slight case of Pollock. What? No! She is basically saying that she likes to screenprint other people’s pictures/art sloppily. And I don’t know all that much about art.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:51 pm
No. 13 Lisa(#1) says:

My art is like a Gauguininan El Greco with a whiff of Shepard Fairey.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:54 pm
No. 14 fleenflan says:

LOL at you lisa! Mine is like a complicated cross between Matisse and Rembrandt, with a crazy dash of O’Keefe in there somewhere. Go figure!

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 4:59 pm
No. 15 Lisa(#1) says:

I have O’Queefian subtext, though. AND Rembrantian Vermeer lighting.

I am such a dork. I am laughing so hard at my Rembrantian Vermeer lighting joke. And I don’t know jack about teh arts.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:01 pm
No. 16 fleenflan says:

Remember Colin Firth in that Vermeer movie with Scarlett Johanssen? He was one hot Johan Vermeer. Ugh another reason to hate Scarlett. As if I needed more.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:06 pm
No. 17 fleenflan says:

She literally spent the whole movie with her mouth hanging open looking like a not-so-bright person.
Beauty goes a long fuckin way in her case. Imagine where she’d be if it weren’t for her looks.

Ok sorry for going off on Johansen, we were *supposed* to be discussing the merits of the use of your innovative Rembratian-Vermeeresque lighting

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:09 pm
No. 18 Lisa(#1) says:

Colin Firth is the exception to my hate of thin lips on men. Well, and Johnny Lee Miller, but his can be surprisingly pillow-y.

I don’t hate ScarJo. I hate everyone else for overestimating her beauty and talent. I wish my large fun bags would get me jobs and praise. Maybe I should shove them up on display more often.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:13 pm
No. 19 fleenflan says:

You are absolutely right. I think I actually thought that out once, that it isn’t her fault, it’s the fault of everyone else…she’s just taking what she gets offered to her, and doing the best she can with what she’s got. Still, there’s something about her. A kind of arrogance, smugness? Maybe I’m just jealous.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:16 pm
No. 20 fleenflan says:

It also annoys me that she’s in a lot of my favorite movies, with a lot of my favorite actors, flawing them with her mundane performances.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:19 pm
No. 21 Lisa(#1) says:

Totally, she thinks she is smart. Also, she has bought into people’s bullshit now. Like she can sing and act and crap - which, not really. Wow, I have devovled, that was an awful few sentences. In the spirit of Juje, no backspace!

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:21 pm
No. 22 Lisa(#1) says:

I mean she should remember her pre-nosejob face and be a bit mroe humble. She’s no Natalie Portman, in looks or brains.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:27 pm
No. 23 fleenflan says:

Did you catch her cover of “Summertime”? Dear Lord, I had to listen to my Janis Joplin version about five times to wash the complete mediocrity out of my ears.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm
No. 24 Amy says:

Christ. Yellow really isn’t her color, is it?

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm
No. 25 fleenflan says:

I think a surgical mask would be the most flattering color on her.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:38 pm
No. 26 Lisa(#1) says:

It is like in grade school, when you made a mistake, there would be a big red felt-tip pen circle around it. It is like that for everything that comes out of her mouth. WRONG!

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 5:42 pm
No. 27 Lisa(#1) says:

Ugh. I read that article. That Izzy Gold vfellow thinks he is precious. I swear someone said you can be a bank robber bit before him. Or something super like it. I now have to google obsessively.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 6:02 pm
No. 28 fleenflan says:

I didn’t get any of that, Lisa? Perhaps you weren’t talking to me. In any case I feel confused.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 6:07 pm
No. 29 Lisa(#1) says:

um. I *may* not be making much sense today. First one was about her lipstick looking like a big red circle that teachers make around misspelt words. The second was about the article. If you click on it her “partner” is a fake, appropriating douche.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 6:15 pm
No. 30 fleenflan says:

“Ugh. I read that article. That Izzy Gold vfellow thinks he is precious. I swear someone said you can be a bank robber bit before him. Or something super like it. I now have to google obsessively”

—that was all that I didn’t get. I didn’t read the article. Thanks for clearing it up for me.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 6:37 pm
No. 31 queencrone says:

I am STILL laughing about the red circle is wrong
comment Lisa#1!!

Remember those huge red wax lips that used to come out around Halloween?

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 7:51 pm
No. 32 Lily the Pink says:

My husband’s getting in on the fun. He was reading this over my shoulder and said her statement was such a beautifully constructed example of stupidity that he was too stunned to want to kick her in the chest.

Posted: Jan 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm
No. 33 meadow says:

i’m so glad that jackasses like her are the rich ones. makes me feel so much better about myself!

what a retard!

Posted: Jan 26, 2008 at 5:03 pm
No. 34 queencrone says:

Can you imagine her as your friend, and saying, Do I have any lipstick on my teeth? You’d have to
say, “O.K. - give me just a minute here…”

Posted: Jan 26, 2008 at 9:30 pm
No. 35 yoli says:

She’s an idiot! I remember on her reality show she broke into tears because she couldn’t make a burrito!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Jan 26, 2008 at 11:26 pm
No. 36 jujubees says:

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE’S TRYING TO SAY!!!!!! I mean, is her generation like her fathers or not??? It’s one or the other horse teeth. I wish she has some spinach stuck in there. That would make her more interesting.

Hey, check out the yoga lady in the stretch your mind with the fun survery. She’s doing a modified crescent but she needs to check her shoulders. Madonna would kick her out of class. me too.

Posted: Jan 28, 2008 at 10:02 am
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