Why can't this guy get a bloaty staphy infection. I like the extra y. It makes staph sound kind of ucte. I got a staphy infectiony.

I guess being fucking lame runs in the family.

I like the part about the buttons. Where the hell do you even buy, Spencer Buttons? At Spencers? Craft time at the home?

ugh. it's still too early for a bevis post.

*beavis…see i told you it was too early.

Oh, Lisa. You stole the words right out of my mouth. LMAO. I guess the Pratt blood type is douche.

I wonder if Grandma has the same chompers?

Don't a lot of old ladies read the tabloids? Aren't we all a bunch of old ladies reading the tabloids? It would suck suck if my kids kids turned out this bad. And I doubt Granny is crying tears of joy.

Granny's probably just happy that Spencer *somehow* found someone who would give him money so he could eat. I can't imagine her hopes for him were high.

Wh-wh-why they don't kill him,
can only make me wonder.
I need the devil to hurry up now
And take this douche bag under.

That's my interpretation of Kayne's Stronger for this douchetastic display of douchebaggary. I hope for everyone's sake that his grandmother is in deep senility and thinks that Spencer is a nice boy who has been elected president or something. Sorry Nana Pratt, you're beloved grandson is King Douche of Douchington, Arch Bishop Douche, Bastard Son of the God of Douchistry

My douche, who is 81, was at my birthday douche last night, and she was doucheing in her whole life—which has been douche for the most part—the one thing that has made her doucheiest is getting to read the tabloids, watch The Hills, and be a DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE

I wonder how often his lip gets caught on his upper set of chombers. Like when you smile on a rollercoaster and your teeth dry out, and you lip gets stuck on them? I imagine with veneers that huge, it happens all the time.

This is the best quote.

"I love the bad press. The bottom line is I'm making people react and ultimately not think about that we are in a war in Iraq and are trying to pick leaders."

Does this beat Baf Raefli's New York vs. Israeli National Service rant for the trophy of 'dumb things dumb people say about their place in the world'?

grandma should be taken to guatanamo immediately for a little torture and tea for giving birth to his mom who gave birth to the douche that is known as spencer. no amount of rendering is too good for her for what she's done to the minds of 16 yr old girls (and LisaNo.1) everywhere…

His parents are dentists are they not? I think they used him for practice. They need to whiten his crap.

j_b, I am seriously, seriously damaged. I have nightmares where a HUGE set of veneers chases me. Saying inane things. I say string the old biddy up by her cankles and poke her with the pins from those two buttons she has.

Is it just me or does, Lauren look like she was tongue wrestling with a cow and won? Tongue and Chompers. Chompers and Tongue. Sounds like some hot new band you can find on Sunset.

LOL lisa…you know what helps for nightmares induced by watching "da hills"? watching "i love new york 2" right before bed…that way you only have happy dreams of a crazy black trannie, her mom, a midget and twenty reasonably hot men. works for me.

Man! I need to start watching ILNY2, I hear Chance is coming back! You going to watch Salt and Pepa - it starts this week!

arent we forgetting that young idiots usually grow up to be old idiots? grammy just made it this far. im surprised darwin hasnt picked her off.

i mean this is all speculation, since he probably is lying.

oh yeah lisa…Salt 'n Pepa will be watched. though it looks crappy that doesn't usually stop me.

ILNY2 is awesome…chance is coming back and the guys are hotter than ever. and NY's crazy-ass mom is scared of the midget. man, this show has it all.

She's probably crying becuase he put those buttons on her and said if she takes them off he's going to make her listen to Heidi's new song. Or worse, make her watch Heidi dance.

j_b, Sister Patterson freaking out over Midget Mac was comedy gold. And that "Entertainer" guy. Yummy!

by the way, doesn't cord have some black in him? (he's definitely had some black on him….zing!) why does he always concentrate on white dumbasses on shows like "the hills"..how about black dumbasses like New York, some coverage of people like halle and will smith…i mean white people watch that crap too, right? I love new york is the highest rated show on vh1…and has better ratings than most shows on mtv like "the hills". y'all white girls must be watching!!

New York is black? I thought she was muppet?

I thought she was a man?

SS, that reaction by s. patterson was not faked, unlike most of new york's behavior (i still love that trannie!) the stripper was hot…all the guys seem hot (except the midget…unless that's your thing. if so, it's cool)…there don't seem to be any "boston" geek-types from last season…

I just saw a clip where this guy was licking her. Just full on trying to tongue her. That's when I knew I'd have to find out when this mess is on. What day is this show on?

monday nights are when the new episodes are on. re-runs are on vh1 24/7.

Juju, I'm pulling for sepsis. It seems nastier than staph.

Oh nice, I'm watching. Will I need to spray my tv down with lysol afterwards? I've got me antibacterial spray handy from watching, Rock of Love.

you'll have to spray your pets, your house, your hubby and yourself after watching that STD-fest but it's worth it.

I find that people who wear buttons of young family members (who are alive) are generally unaware that said button subjects are usually douches.

Case in point: When I was in college in PA, there were these idiot twins who, for lack of developing their own identities, were simply referred to as "The Twins." Their whole family- grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. showed up for graduation to cheer these poufy-banged, way-too-tanned, tuck-your-jeans-in-your-scrunchy-socks even-though-that-fad-ended-8-years-ago chicks on, all wearing buttons with the girls' faces pressed together, along with shirts and hats celebrating The Twins. The only problem was that The Twins had gotten into a brawl the night before, with each other, and had been taken to jail. They made it out just in time, and their stupid family cheered them on at the ceremony, as if they were the co-valedictorians. Which they were not.

Plus this story seems phony. I see this guy calling his grandmother "Meemaw" or something ridiculous like that.

The little DJ Qualls-type guy is sort of Boston-ish. He looks like he might get crushed by her fun bags.

And I kind of hope the previews are right and someone beats up on Tailor Made. HIm and Spencer could be BFF.

*Must set DVR for tonight*

I find NY's willful ignorance of how bad her clothes make her "breast aug" look, pretty endearing.

I find it more inspiring. When I get mined aug'ed, I hope to look HALF that good in my bodice breaking dresses.

God I love that Muppet.

Aww, lale, that story made me love you more. I would however love you even morer if you had one of those t shirts and still wore it, occasionally. Wbat a lovely conversation piece that shirt would be.

I bet he doesn't even have a grandmother. What a lamer.

He hired that old biddy from grandma's r us.

Thanks, juju. I should have snatched one of the buttons; other people's pictures on things are the best, aren't they? I used to have a mug with some kid's picture on it, that I picked up from Saver's. There was a set of them, perhaps for his bar-mitzvah or some graduation. It was my favorite mug until I moved and lost it.

I just love the idea of walking around with some weird persons face you don't even know. Like maybe somebody would ask you who it was and you could answer, I don't know, I'm hoping someone would tell me. I'm sick that I have it all planned out.