Beach blanket belligerence!
A group of paparazzi and the Malibu surfers who attacked them last weekend – to protect the privacy of Matthew McConaughey, say the surfers – have taken to Web site comment boards to taunt and threaten one another with promises of future attacks. What began as just standard American race-bating has become promises of a photographer vs surfer beach rumble, set to go down this Saturday. Unfortunately, we don't think there's enough time between then and now to come up with a way to knock Southern California into the briny depths, so, if you're in the area, go and watch these idiots smash each other's hollow heads like so many tan jack-o'-lanterns. And take pictures!
After the jump, some of the really witty verbal jabs.
• "rendezvous next Saturday in the same spot. 50 paps are going to meet u there. Good luck and enjoy the high waves."
• "Bring it on, paps. It will be the end for you on the beach. Saturday is on."
• "I'm a pap … I've made $94K a year and I'm only four months into it … because stupid white trash people like your fat mother buy the magazines. We hunt the very people you worship for no reason."
• "McConaughey cannot surf to save his life"
Editor
The paps are gonna have their day
Tonight.
The Surfers are gonna have their way
Tonight.
The Paps grumble: "Fair fight."
But if they start a rumble,
We'll rumble 'em right.
We're gonna hand 'em a surprise
Tonight.
We're gonna cut 'em down to size
Tonight.
We said, "O.K., no rumpus,
No tricks."
But just in case they jump us,
We're ready to mix
Tonight.
We're gonna rock it tonight,
We're gonna jazz it up and have us a ball!
They're gonna get it tonight;
The more they turn it on the harder they'll fall!
"McConaughey cannot surf to save his life”
O.o. diss
If I didn't have like four birthday parties to hit this weekend, I would totally take one for the Mollygood team and check this out for pictures.
And excellent use of Bodhi Reagan.
I'll totally be there. With my camera! I'll send my pics in, Kitchy.
Kitchy, couldn't you send one of the kids down with a camcorder?
*lol*
Oh, sexyback, that would be the greatest thing ever. It would be like actual reporting. YOu think Perez is going to be there with his, never mind. Men sweating and shirtless. I hope Mc Conawhatevers shows up with his bongos.
If mollygood could get enough people there they could each wear team shirts. Photogs in red tees and Bros in blue tees. This is such a great rivalry.
I think all the hags should show up in the "team thongs."
Man I'm gonna miss Bodhi AND sexyback. *pout*
Which team are we on? Paps or surfers? I say the surfers because they know how to party and won't bitch if you run over their feet.
It doesn't matter. When our luscious asses show up in those "picturesque" thongs, everybody is going to forget about fighting.
It is for rare occurences such as these that people pay outrageous real estate prices to live in CA…I understand now.
yea and stark puking. My cellulite is nastifying. Ill wear my team thong, but with a skirt onnly to show it off for cheers!
I'm bringing surf wax and a cooler of beer. I want exclusives from the surfers… or to be befriend McConney.
Tell them we all say, Aloha.
When I first heard this story, the image that popped into my mind was the surf nazis from Point Break. Gotta love Anthony Kiedis.