Well, that was fast: After Lindsay Lohan issued a statement to Access Hollywood in response to her father's cries for attention and then Samantha Ronson posted a MySpace rant about Michael's idiocy, Linds took to her MySpace to vent some more. Because evidently enough hurtful things haven't been said amongst the Lohan clan.
We feel for Lindsay a bit, because her father truly is a media whore, but she lost us when she insisted that her mother is the goddess of all things pure and good in this world. Um, no. To make matters worse, she also does that weird thing with the hyphens, just like Sam.
This is way less entertaining without Anderson Cooper around to provide commentary. CONTINUED »
We've come to the conclusions that the Lohan family can't survive without being involved in some sort of public feud. The latest was with America's hero, Anderson Cooper, but this time they're keeping it inside the family and battling father Michael Lohan. Oh boy.
Upon news that Lindsay's girlfriend Samantha Ronson plans to write a tell-all, Michael went into a tirade accusing Sam of using LiLo for fame. Mike's not so self-aware, is he? In response, Lindsay pulled her dad aside and had a mature talk about how his actions hurt her. Just kidding, she went to Access Hollywood to announce that her father is "out of control."
TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW "After months of speculation, Jennifer Garner has officially confirmed she is expecting a second child with her husband, Ben Affleck, in a new interview with Access Hollywood."
If you haven't been keeping up with the Anderson Cooper-Lohan family feud, then we'll give you the shortened version: Anderson insulted Dina and Ali on Live with Regis and Kelly, then Dina told OK! magazine something about cruelty and karma, then Anderson responded on 360 by basically laughing at the idiocy of the entire family. Caught up? Good.
We knew it was only a matter of time before Michael Sr. threw his hat into the ring, and he didn't disappoint with his statement to Access Hollywood:
I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.
Because if anyone is in a position to talk about keeping your opinions to himself, it's Michael "I sell my statements to the tabloids" Lohan. Well played.
More details are emerging about country singer Mindy McCready's recent admittance to a rehab facility, and it's not looking pretty. Apparently Mindy's three-month relationship with an unidentified man resulted in an unwanted pregnancy — until she miscarried on July 16. Mindy's "emotional reaction" (a suicide attempt?) to the miscarriage triggered her trip to the emergency room of a Nashville hospital. Her current stint in rehab is for ???alcohol, substance abuse and emotional issues, with the emotional issues being at the top of the list.???
But just in case anyone was mistaken that the media is focused on getting Mindy the help she needs, please note the last sentence of Access Hollywood's report: "A reality show revolving around McCready also is reportedly in the planning stages."
Just when our cold heart was starting to soften for Brooke Hogan, she had to go and screw it up. We were beginning to think this poor girl is handling herself the best way possible after being raised in a family as disastrous as hers, but that sympathy quickly waned during this Access Hollywood interview in which she's presented with yet another one of Nick's despicable jail phone calls.
Thanks to Jack Black, who has no interest in playing coy to spite Us Weekly and TMZ, Angelina Jolie has finally confirmed that she is indeed pregnant with twins.
In an interview to air on Access Hollywood tonight, Jack, who is promoting the new movie Kung Fu Panda at the Cannes Film Festival with Angie, inadvertently let the news slip; that, in turn, forced her to admit what the tabloids told everyone from the start of her pregnancy. Don't underestimate the powers of the tabs, Ang. They are creepier than one might expect.
At the very least, we can thank Gary Dourdan for not endangering the lives of Palm Springs drivers. He told Access Hollywood???s Shaun Robinson via e-mail that cops found him sleeping in a parked car because he had pulled over when he realized he was too drunk to drive. He also ???thanked??? the cops for recognizing that the car ??? and the suitcase filled with drugs inside of it ??? was not his, claiming he has the negative drug tests to prove it.
Two months too late, Heidi Montag is shedding some fake tears to pimp out her stepbrother's accidental death to Access Hollywood. Someone get this girl an Oscar. She continuously makes it all about her, mentioning that, during her last conversation with him, he said she made him proud. Oh, and she's realized there is more to life than feuding with Lauren Conrad ??? which totally explains why she will appear on The Tyra Banks Show today to keep on spreading that sex tape rumor.
After the jump: The tears, how they flow.
Nothing quite says "I'm concerned about Britney Spears and her health" like giving an exclusive to Access Hollywood. And Adnan Ghalib is obviously very concerned.
We can't figure out who tracked down whom at the Ed Hardy fashion show in LA; both parties are obviously very desperate for credibility. It doesn't really matter who initiated it, though, as long as the interview is awesome.
Are you ready for the greatness? Adnan says, "In a situation like that, you???re not ever going to contain it. It is what it is. Just keep praying. That???s what I say."
Profound. Truly profound.
Anyone remember Lane Garrison? No? He's the guy from Prison Break who was sentenced to over three years in prison after he was involved in a drunk driving crash that killed a teenager.
In a desperate effort to make sure nobody forgets him, Garrison sent a letter to Access Hollywood from prison. As you do.
Greetings and Happy New Year to you and everyone at Access Hollywood from Donovan State Prison. Never did I think I would be saying the words ???happy and prison??? in the same sentence and not be on a set. It???s pure irony coming from the show and now living the real deal. It???s surreal and mind-blowing to say the least.
Just this past Monday they let a group of inmates watch the season premiere of Prison Break. It felt like an out of body experience as I stood around a crowd of tattooed felons watching Michael Scofield try to escape ??? all of us longing to be free as well!
This has been the hardest year of my life. I hope people, young and old, are learning from my mistakes and what can happen when you drink and drive. I have much to say about the pain I???ve felt and seen inside of prison. It has been eye-opening and a harrowing experience.
Aw, poor guy. He seems to have really learned something from …. Wait, who were we talking about? We already forgot.
Friday was the anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death, and her hangers-on are still finding ways to sell her out. It's like looking into the future, except instead of Larry Birkhead it's Kevin Federline, and instead of Howard K. Stern it's Sam Lutfi.
Anna's former bodyguard, Big Moe, is the latest to give his story and share new "shocking" details, like the fact that Larry Birkhead is probably gay. Duh.
'Because of how Larry looked, she figured, oh my child would look great,' Big Moe told Access Hollywood's Tony Potts. 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, you know, "Go great with me and my baby will come out beautiful."'
'So basically, from what she told you and what you???re telling me is that Anna looked at Larry as a sperm donor to get a really beautiful child?' Tony asked.
'That's it,' Big Moe said.
Big Moe also claims Anna told him that due to his 'lifestyle' there would be no strings attached.
'What's his lifestyle?' Tony asked.
'Well, she told me that, you know, he was a homosexual,' Big Moe said. 'She knew deep down that he didn't want to be with her.'
Look, we're not doubting that Larry plays for the other team, but just because a guy didn't want to touch Anna Nicole with a 10-foot pole doesn't mean he's gay.
Here's surprising news: Sam Lutfi, who has creeped his way into Britney Spears' life, is continuing his takeover by painting her parents in a bad light.
When Sam was asked how he and Lynne Spears were getting along following Britney's second hospitalization, he sounded off, saying he does not think Lynne cares about Britney.
'No. Her mother is not someone who cares about her daughter, she's only concerned with herself. Sad but true. She was too busy getting a manicure to come over yesterday, despite her daughters (sic) pleas. Sad, very sad,' Sam wrote to Access [Hollywood] in a text message.
Granted, Jamie and Lynne Spears haven't exactly been parents of the year, but this is coming from a guy who accused them of being jealous of him. Which is a solid point — he has so many desirable traits, like the multiple restraining orders against him, one can't help but be a little envious.
??? Show us all the side boob you want, Mariah Carey, but wearing a little pink dress sill merits comparison to a certain Muppet. [DListed]
??? You may not remember high school biology, but this diagram of Nicole Ritchie shows that perhaps you retained more information than you think. [Gallery of the Absurd]
??? Finally an official statement from Lindsay Lohan???s fire crotch. [Best Week Ever]
??? If Access Hollywood keeps giving away juicy gossip, especially nuggets like this, I may just have to start watching. [The Jay]
??? Colin Farrell is officially the manliest dude ever to star in a Woody Allen film. Like, by a longshot. [A Socialite???s Life]
??? Who knows whether Clay Aiken is welcome at tonight???s ???Idol??? finale, but it sure is fun to assume that he???s not. [Queerty]
??? Since we're always looking for a new reason to hate Paris Hilton, catch a load of how much money she makes just to look vapid and wave. [The Superficial]
??? Nothing like a good "Cease and Desist" to prove what was written about your client is absolutely positively untrue. [The Malcontent]