Sad but true: One of the greatest Assistant District Attorneys in the history of the Law & Order franchise, Diane Neal as Casey Novak, has left the show. It was announced today that One Tree Hill alum Michaela McManus will be replacing her. One Tree Hill abstainers that we are, we can't attest to McManus' merits; but they better be plentiful, because she's got some big sensible heels to fill.
After the jump, every single ADA from Law & Order's history. Who's your favorite?
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HOW ABOUT 'BAD ACTOR'? "Jerry Seinfeld claims a cookbook author is cooking up some fancy semantics by calling him an actor rather than a comedian to minimize the humor in statements she says defamed her. Lawyers for Seinfeld say Missy Chase Lapine's lawyers resorted to the switch in words to describe Seinfeld when several weeks ago they filed a rewritten version of her lawsuit against him and his wife in U.S. District Court in Manhattan. 'Jerry Seinfeld is an enormously wealthy and well-known actor,' Lapine's revised lawsuit said. The original had called him a comedian."
John Cusack is an actor, which, according to Bill O'Reilly, does not make him qualified to speak publicly about political issues.
Bill O'Reilly is a homophobic and racist blowhard, which does not make him qualified to speak publicly.
STARVING ACTORS TO STARVE A LITTLE LESS "Moderate-income performers will likely benefit from a tax relief bill introduced in the Senate on Thursday. Bill will raise the current limit on adjusted gross income to allow deductions for work-related expenses. Currently, the U.S. tax code allows single performers to deduct business expenses only if they have an adjusted gross income below $16,000. The bill would raise that cap to $30,000."
Which TV legend likes to play dirty in the bedroom? The larger-than-life fella ties up his conquests with bathrobes - and takes breaks from "satisfying" the girls only to snort piles of coke.
Fun! But who could it be?
SHMAR POWER "Anyone glancing at 2007 boxoffice numbers might have noticed a striking absence of star power. Only four of the top 25 domestic grossers were driven primarily by movie stars — the lowest number in history. The data captures what is becoming a seismic and industry-reshaping phenomenon: A-list talent is having trouble packing multiplexes based on star wattage alone." What gives, America? Why aren't supercelebs your gods these days? Are we gonna have to sic eagles on your livers until you relearn to friggin' respect rich people?
YOU TALKIN' TO ME? LA Times staff writer Patrick Goldstein on film legends Al Pacino and Robert De Niro: "The two icons of '70s New Hollywood, heroes to a generation of young actors and filmmakers, have become parodies of themselves … they're grumpy old men, relegated to raking in loot from cartoonish comedy and generic thrillers."
Yesterday's New York Times profile of Morgan Freeman was, for me, akin to learning Santa's not real all over again:
"I really spent 20 years in theater trying to get into the movies," he said. "From childhood that’s what I wanted to do. Mostly I don’t want to do stage. It’s too much work. Movies, you do a little work, make a lot of money and move on. I like that."
The sputtering film industry isn't only causing grief for major studio executives. Like the true disloyal bastards they are, talent agencies, agents and actors have all begun backstabbing each other for the dwindling profits.
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Funny woman Rachel Dratch is finding it difficult to land roles after leaving Saturday Night Live two years ago. Dratch was even fired from 30 Rock, a program helmed by a fellow SNL alum, Tina Fey. Asked what she's been working on at a recent film screening, the luckless actress answered, "Maybe you can tell me … I know you’re supposed to come up with fake stuff you’re doing. But honestly, I’m not doing much." She added, "It’s starting to get old … I’m starting to go crazy. I’m ready for a job." Debbie Downer, is that you?
Three-time ex-wife Pamela Anderson somehow continues fooling the entertainment world into believing she's relevant and interesting. The passable bikini model and horrible actress has just signed a seven-figure deal to star in her own reality show on E!. Reportedly, the program will focus on Anderson's "quest to make a splash in the acting world," which her complete lack of talent will make both funny and heartbreaking (but mostly heartbreaking).
Ben Widdicombe should know that any information he has concerning statutory rapists should probably be taken to the police before the gossip mongers:
Which middle-age Lothario famous for playing a small-screen love interest has been using his renewed fame to land very young women? One recent hookup was all of 16 years old.
NYPD, are you reading?
The chickens have come home to roost in the coop built by the American film industry's socially liberal politics. All four Oscars honoring acting went to foreigners last night: Javier Bardem, Tilda Swinton, Daniel Day-Lewis and Marion Cotillard—a Spaniard, a Brit, an Irishman and a Frenchie, respectively. Whaddya think about border security now, Sean Penn, ya pinko?
We hear word that some oddly popular event happened last night in Los Angeles. We're not really sure what it was all about, but we've got pictures of some of the self-congratulatory, insular men and women in attendance after the jump.
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• Artiste! (Fast forward to 2'25".) [DListed]
• Shocking headlines to shock you into 2008. [PS]
• "Tara Reid’s Hotness Comeback Continues…" It can't come back if it was never here. [HT]
• All of them are overpaid, but who's overpaid the most? [ICYDK]
• Hilary Swank can be seen holding a lion cub here. [INO]
• TMI, French model! [Yeeeah]
• "No man can fight time. Not even Rocky." [CityRag]
Which celebrity "girlfriend" turned up solo at her actor beau's recent party because, several wags joked, he was still busy with his boyfriend?
Here at Mollygood, we're in the business of people at the top of their industry (occasionally we're in the business of people at the middle of their industry and we suppose, oftentimes, people at the very bottom of their industry, but that's not important right now). Our eyes so often on the pinnacle of "the biz," it becomes easy to forget that for every successful actor pissing away his glory days in cookie-cutter discotheques with sycophants who hate him but hate themselves more, there's dozens of fresh, talented actors outside the club chomping at the bit to be preyed upon by yes men. So we've tapped our good friend, "The Actor," to report anonymously from the front lines of the quest to get big, thereby reminding us all that celebrity is easy, acting is hard.
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