Thanks to some new research by AOL Latino, we can finally say for certain that wearing makeup causes women to look different than they would otherwise. Amazing, right? Also amazing: the bullshit that schadenfreude will compel people to sit through.
• Hurry and enter to win a date with Barack Obama. And then marry him if you love him so much! [SH]
• Everyone gets a free can of Dr Pepper if Axl Rose releases the new Guns N' Roses album this year. If it happens, we guarantee the soda will be better than the album. [DListed]
• Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger wield control over Clint Eastwood in our America? Why? [PS]
• Adriana Lima will remove her clothes for moving pictures, too. [HT]
• Nick Lachey is still driving cars and whatnot. Scintillating. [INO]
• "When I die, I wish to be cryogenically frozen in Nan Kempner’s closet." -Lucy Liu [ICYDK]
• If you're going to commit a crime, have the decency to put on a three-piece suit. [CityRag]
• In honor of Pam Anderson's newly single status, Playboy is featuring an old, completely freaky photoshoot. [DListed]
• Guys like Rachel Bilson for her confidence…among other things. [HollywoodTuna]
• Dina Lohan: Couger on the prowl. [A Socialite's Life]
• Angelina Jolie is open to getting a verbal beatdown from Jennifer Aniston. [People]
• Apparently someone didn't enjoy Son in Law as much as I did. [BWE]
• Adriana Lima in a bikini, because I don't think we got enough scantily clan women 'round these parts. [Egotastic]
• Sienna Miller blames the sauce for her stupidity. [Junkiness]
Beyonce may have been all smiles with her Dreamgirls costars at the New York premiere last night, but she's not about to let this Jennifer Hudson woman have all the press (despite any public denials of jealousy). So it looks like B isn't going to be the singer getting all the praise for the film, but that doesn't mean she won't steal the attention somehow. Page Six is reporting that Beyonce is planning to wed her boyfriend, Jay-Z, this weekend. Eh, I believe this zero, but here you go:
Knowles, Jay and some Def Jam executives were at STK on West 12th Street on Saturday talking about the four-day "party" - but insiders say it will be more than a birthday celebration. "Beyoncé is throwing Jay a four-day birthday party, but it's really a wedding," said one source. Guests, including family and close friends, were told to have passport applications filed by last Friday so they can attend the bash on a yacht in St. Barts. But insiders said the guests will also be ferried over to Anguilla for the wedding at Cap Juluca, a five-star resort with Moorish villas. Another spy said Knowles and Jay-Z had toured the site earlier this year and approved it for their nuptials.
Wow, so now Beyonce is taking away the man's birthday celebration and making it their anniversary so he never has any parties just for him ever again? I kid, I kid Beyonce. I'm sure she's not nearly the catty selfish bitch that the media makes her into. I mean, as long as you don't step on her toes, I'm sure she's sweet as pie! (And, she terrifies me.)
P.S. Throw us a bone, Adriana Lima. Please cover more of your body with fabric? Harlot.
Victoria shared her Secret to a few (ton of) lucky people at the runway show last night. There were supermodels, as it goes. Nicole Richie did her part by allowing the brassiere to show. Justin brought SexySomewhere and Kristin Cavallari continued to exist. I wish I could tell you something more interesting, but I've already fallen asleep twice trying to write this sentence. Never has lingerie been so boring. I blame myself.
Adriana Lima was caught by some paparazzi shopping last week. Yeeeaaahhh, apparently these are candids. That makes my life hurt.
[Source]
• Adriana Lima somehow makes a denim bikini look logical. [Egotastic]
• Keira Knightly is drunk and loving it. At least that explains some of the ways she dresses herself. [JustJared]
• It makes me a bit sad that hilarious Vince Vaughn is with a woman who is physically incapable of smiling. [PopSugar]
• Ryan Phillipe knows how to save his marriage, just get Reese Witherspoon pregnant as often as humanly possible. [Celebitchy]
• Ben Affleck was rushed to a hospital this weekend to get treatment for a bad migraine. This is what happens when Hulk tries to keep anger inside. [WWTDD]
• Clay Aiken and Tobey Maguire learn the art of ironing their hair. [The People We Love To Hate]
• Julia Stiles throws like a girl. [Faded Youth]
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