In light of Maureen McCormick's latest attempt to stay relevant (in which she admitted to abusing drugs, dating Michael Jackson and having a fling with her on-screen brother), we got to thinking: Just how wholesome and pure was The Brady Bunch, after all? While most of the cast members went on to embrace the newfound fame thanks to the show, nobody truly lived up to the Brady name when all was said and done.
So perhaps growing up in a feel-good group like the Bradys isn't exactly the best idea for your physical and emotional health. After the jump: A real look into the lives of one of America's favorite families.
SHE'S KICKED DEPRESSION, NOW HOW ABOUT THE ALCOHOLISM? Emotionally stunted young actress Kirsten Dunst, who recently left rehab after battling "depression," is apparently celebrating her newfound happiness with some joyful, enriching boozing. Tipsters spotted her this week looking "appropriately trashed" at an LA bar called the Rubbish Bin.
Because sometimes pictures simply aren't enough: Here's a bizarre video, shot by one of Amy Winehouse's "friends," which features the drug-addicted mess participating in a jam session. Except — oopsies! — Amy seems to have misplaced her shirt. Oh, well. She'll just dance like a chicken instead (around the 1:20 mark).
You can't keep a good woman down.
There are two sides to all celebrities: The squeaky-clean images forced upon the public by PR reps and their actual personalities. To provide you with a glimpse into the real Hollywood characters are Mollygood’s very own readers, telling tales of celebrity encounters big and small. Up this week: Reader Kim's airport experience with Danny Bonaduce. CONTINUED »
If you're like us, you like your booze to reflect your loyalty to TV shows and your immature, macho obsession with people who earn respect by murdering other people. In that case, it's time to get drunk, comrades!
Dave Moore and Bill Manville put together a nice little article summing up why addicts of the famous variety don't always recover after trips to rehab. Now, to be fair, rehab isn't exactly 100 percent effective for regular civilians, but the success rate is drastically lower when it comes to celebrities. And here's why:
People like Heather Locklear are so sheltered by agents, lawyers and studio publicists — that even if they attend a 12-step meeting, they are still 'stars.' It is difficult for them to experience the healing powers of anonymity and group morale.
Makes sense. Let this be a lesson to all of you: Celebrities who become addicts are simply screwed. Best of luck!
Google searches seeking to verify the above video's authenticity have yielded nothing but links to other sites asking the same questions we have, so we're quick to assume this is yet another "viral" marketing campaign for some new movie or TV show. If it's not: Jesus, Aykroyd. What happened to you, man?
Update: It's a Ghostbusters III thing.
We care about our readers, so this is a public service announcement: The world is ending. How do we know this? Simple: It says in the Book of Xenu that a handful of celebrities will be arrested within a matter of days, then the Clay Aiken Claby will arrive at 8:08 on 08/08/08, and finally, both Brangelina and Britney Spears will step foot in New York City at the same time.
The final step occurred today when Brad and Angelina arrived in Manhattan with their army of children in tow, while Britney also spent her day with some kids in the Bronx. You know what comes next: The battle for the world's soul between Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise (yeah, she's here too). … Or maybe we've had too much to drink. We blame Sarah Palin. She killed Rupert, you know. CONTINUED »
Perhaps the best part of any presidential debate/State of the Union/political speech is the great fun in creating drinking games for the appropriate speakers. In college, every time George Bush would smirk, everyone would take a drink. Every time he stuttered, another drink. And terrorism mentions warranted a shot of whiskey.
So in preparation for the debates tonight, a lot of blogs have begun formulating their pre-fab list to getting wasted when Sarah Palin and Joe Biden take the stage.
Comedy Central's Indecision 2008 has perhaps the best rule yet, and we have a couple suggestions of our own.
Try to think back to earlier this week when Heather Locklear was arrested on suspicion of DUI. She looked crazy, but TMZ is saying that the woman who reported the crime in the first place is even crazier — she's a former Us Weekly staffer. Yeesh.
Jill Ishkanian, who allegedly hacked into Us Weekly's computer system to locate celebs after she left the mag, was following Locklear in the Montecito area. Ishkanian watched the actress go to a market. When Heather got in her car, Ishkanian called 911, even though the car wasn't even moving at the time.
After calling 911, Ishkanian took the next logical step: She called a paparazzi agency to take pictures of the event, because why wouldn't Heather want to document this memory? But this isn't helping Locklear one bit: Officials said that Ishkanian's actions don't take away her credibility as a witness. Just her soul.
It just got a little harder to hook up with a third child bride in Utah.
On Wednesday, Utah will be the only state to ban the sale of fruity alcoholic drinks at grocery stores and convenience stores in an effort to keep them from minors. Those drinks also must have new state-approved labels on the front of the product that contain capitalized letters in bold type telling consumers the drinks contain alcohol and at what percentage.
Because it's completely cost ineffective for alcohol producers to create new labels for bottles sold in a single, hyper-religious state, it's presumed that Utah's Zima and Smirnoff Ice supply will go away for good after its current stock runs out. What a crappy world. But there is a silver lining:
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When I received my invitation to Gotham magazine's issue release party in honor of cover girl (and Gossip Girl) Leighton Meester, I squealed a bit: I've been addicted to the show since the first episode, and I simply adore Leighton's character, Blair Waldorf. But there's always been something about Meester that seems a bit off, and the party — held at NYC's Marquee — didn't do much to change my perception of her. CONTINUED »
Did everyone have a good weekend? Heather Locklear did: The actress was arrested Saturday night in Santa Barbara for driving under the influence of what cops believe to be drugs. A resident called police after witnessing Heather "driving erratically"; when police found her, she had parked her car on a state highway, blocking a lane. Sounds perfectly normal to us.
After being tested for drugs and alcohol, law enforcement reported that alcohol was not involved. She was released without posting bail — but not before delivering one of the most terrifying mug shots of all time. Good one, Heather!
Amy Winehouse is truly a walking miracle for the mere fact that she remains living and breathing despite all odds. Here she is performing a "concert" in London, although we'd call it more of a freak show than anything. Seriously though, how does a person function when one's body looks like that?
[Source]
OF COURSE HE WON'T "Shia LaBeouf will not be charged with drink-driving [sic] after he was involved in a car accident in Los Angeles. But the Indiana Jones star's licence could still be suspended because he refused a breathalyser test at the time, sheriff's officials said. 'Shia is most happy that he will not have to go to court,' said his lawyer, Michael Norris."
THIS 'INSIDER' IS OBVIOUSLY MICHAEL LOHAN "It's been less than a year since Lindsay Lohan left rehab — but friends and family members are frantic that she's on the fast track to another drug and alcohol-driven breakdown. 'Lindsay's been drinking, doing cocaine and causing all-around mayhem for the past few months,' an insider tells Star."
The Olsen twins are currently in a fight so stupid and easily mended it could serve as a plot to another of their low-budget children's movies just as soon as they hire a desperate enough screenwriter.
It's like this: Mary-Kate and Ashley started two fashion labels together, The Row, a couture line, and Elizabeth and James, a more affordable brand. Both lines are now suffering and Ashley, who's very focused on becoming a "respected businesswoman," believes the failure is due in large part to sister Mary-Kate's partying. Cocaine, as we're sure you know, is a helluva drug.
The rest of the story's all about good lines. Ashley wants MK away from the good line, The Row, until she can cool it with her own, special good lines and the smoking and the drinking, basically all the stuff that makes the fashion industry tolerable.
MK is left to focus on the cheap stuff, er, the more affordable line, Elizabeth and James, “It’s tough because The Row was so much of Mary-Kate’s idea. Mary-Kate has a unique fashion sense,” notes the insider.
“I just see myself more as a business person,” Ashley says.
Great idea, Ashley: give the wasted young millionaire LESS responsibility. That always shapes them right up.
Whoops! Just three days after sending everyone employed by TV rags The Insider and Entertainment Tonight a catty e-mail in which he called Insider host Lara Spencer out of touch and claimed she makes viewers want to "vomit," recovering addict Pat O'Brien is out on his ass. According to Page Six, O'Brien's bosses were "infuriated" by the missive.
O'Brien had been demoted from host to correspondent at The Insider following some time at rehab, apparently leaving him with some jealousy, resentment and anger issues. Shocking.
Time now for sad math: fired + bad attitude + recession = relapse
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