Denise Richards dragged her more likable by default sister out to celebrate Tao's three year anniversary party in Las Vegas over the weekend. Giving her a run for her money in the insufferable competition were Ellen Pompeo, Holly Montag and Perez Hilton. If we were to be stuck on a stranded island with any of them, we can't decide who would be the least maddening. Feel free to choose for yourself.

[Source]

• It's a good thing Joaquin Phoenix decided to retire from acting, because he needs to go back to school. [Yeeeah]

• Former Bachelorette/famewhore DeAnna Pappas has called off her reality show-inspired engagement. Who here is surprised by this? [ICYDK]

• We can't figure out if Enrique Iglesias is being insecure or realistic. [INO]

• A gallery of all the celebrity offspring dressed up in their Halloween costumes, because trick or treating is way more fun with the paparazzi in tow. [PS]

• Amanda Bynes spent too much time in the tanning booth. [HT]

• Amy Winehouse checked out of the hospital last week and checked back in today. Nothing to see here, folks. [DListed]

Maxim held its Hot 100 party last night in LA, which played host to many horny males hoping to score with desperate women. This event would have been the perfect time to lock everyone in and save the rest of the world from STDs.

After the jump: More pictures of "hot" people than you could ever ask for.

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Leave it to YouTube to lead a moral crusade against Jack Black. Some old school Nickelodeon fans are up in arms because Black's new movie, Be Kind Rewind, greatly resembles an episode of The Amanda Show circa 1999. It weirds us out that anyone remembers that, and we're even more bothered that someone cared enough to make a video for YouTube about it.

• This is the best thing we've ever seen on YouTube. That's not hyperbole. Ever. It's perfect. [Queerty]

• Dog the Bounty Hunter doesn't hate niggers, he just don't want his kids dating no niggers because he's afraid one of them niggers might hear him saying nigger, and then they'd go running their nigger mouth to the Enquirer and he loses his business. See how that's not racist? [DListed]

• More charity balls for Africa! I hope they appreciate all the hard work everyone's doing for them. [PS]

• Celebrity fairy tales (besides their real lives). [INO]

• Woman sues Paris Hilton for "stealing her style." We're watching the world fall apart, people! Ain't it exciting? [ICYDK]

• Milk still hasn't come up with a better marketing plan? [HT]

• Owen Wilson finding reason to live with Jessica Simpson. [Yeeeah]

• Hollywood monster Photoshop. [CityRag]

It was a night to be remembered by Hollywood's B-Listers. (Okay, C…or maybe D? Do these people even get to be on any list at all?) Canada's MuchMusic Video Awards took place in Toronto last night, and boy did it look thrilling. There were performances by Nick Lachey, Fall Out Boy, Rihanna, Nelly Furtado, I don't know, possibly some other people. As you can see, blogger Perez Hilton was there, so there's that. Somehow Paris Hilton stumbled across the event, I'm not sure how, it must have been a mistake of some sort. There's more information and pictures of the beautiful people here, in the meantime I'm going to think of ways to make Paris' swag sweatshirt more funny.

Club Nicole Richie not seals.
Club Med gave me crabs not seals.
Clubs with single stall bathrooms are better for doing blow in not seals.

I'll keep working…

Looks like someone didn't get the neutral colors memo, Janet.

Last night all these fashion-conscious beauties played it lame, I mean safe, at the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) Awards. Maybe they're just so sick of being noticed that they wanted to camoflauge into the backdrop. If so, success! Even Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan, whose red carpet photos from the event were posted here earlier, stayed away from colors (though not from daring cuts and styles). If these dresses are any indication, I assume the event was as fun as a barrel of monkeys.

On another note, doesn't Scarlett Johansson look like Geena Davis in this picture, and not in a particularly good way? Yikes.