Just when you start to feel sorry for motherless Kanye West, he has to go off on another one of his deranged tangents about things of no importance whatsoever. This time around, his anger is directed at the MTV Video Music Awards — one of the most legitimate and respected musical events of the year. Except, you know, not.

You see, Kanye thinks these awards shows — both in America and Europe — are "fixed," and he's not OK with the winners of this year's crop:

Britney Spears over Rihanna? Are you serious? I mean f—ing Jared Leto? He's my boy but he shouldn't have won over some of those other artists. I won nothing last year and I'd brought out 'Stronger.' Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was Lil Wayne's year.

Yeah, imbeciles! You don't have any respect for the sacred MTV VMAs. Lil Wayne should have won, after all those times he walked through the airport with ice on his knees and his pants around his ankles. That takes dedication! Sheesh, effing squid brains.

[Source]

Raven Symone, a Cosby Show alum and former Disney star (before Miley Cyrus came along), is evidently a paparazzi target. Why any publications would want to run pictures of Raven is beyond us — this girl typically keeps to herself and doesn't do anything scandalous or exciting. Until now.

See, Raven has some sort of issue with her eyebrows. They don't look like typical eyebrows, so she normally has to fill them in. One day she got lazy and didn't take the time to do that (understandable), and the paparazzi snapped away, which led to people making fun of her eyebrows and weight issues. Up until this point we're on Raven's side — but then she had to take to her MySpace, of all places, and give us a Kanye-esque caps lock tirade of epic proportions. There's lots of exclamation points and typos, just to keep it real.

We thought about breaking it up into multiple paragraphs for your reading pleasure, but this is the way Raven intended to write her rant, so we must respect her wishes. Good luck reading the block of anger (after the jump).

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It certainly looks that way, but perhaps we're just saying that because us "that one"s stick together.

At the next debate, Obama should do the thing where, after holding out his hand long enough that McCain gives in and goes to grab it, he yanks it up real quick and slicks back his hair. Gotcha maturity!

Click through to watch the footage and see what you think.

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Whoops! Just three days after sending everyone employed by TV rags The Insider and Entertainment Tonight a catty e-mail in which he called Insider host Lara Spencer out of touch and claimed she makes viewers want to "vomit," recovering addict Pat O'Brien is out on his ass. According to Page Six, O'Brien's bosses were "infuriated" by the missive.

O'Brien had been demoted from host to correspondent at The Insider following some time at rehab, apparently leaving him with some jealousy, resentment and anger issues. Shocking.

Time now for sad math: fired + bad attitude + recession = relapse

Kanye West decided to lay off the MacBook Air just in time for the MTV VMAs, despite the fact that he promised last year he would never be returning to the show. If you forgot his glorious meltdown, we brought back the YouTube video, at left. Anyway, after screaming "F–k MTV!" and vowing never to return, Kanye announced that he would be performing at the end of Sunday night's show. Wow, Kanye. You really showed them.

Heyyyyyyy! How did I miss this:

Everyone loses their shit on occasions, don’t they? Like, ‘Oh God, what demon possessed me to do that?’ … My wife gets to live with a variety of men. Some of them she likes, some of them she doesn’t. There are ones people like and others that they say, ‘Man we’re glad you’re finished with that project. You were an asshole.’

Check it: I hate to do this today, because I know that right now everyone's in a total love affair with Christian Bale and his new take on Batman and all that, but I've found a unique opportunity to address something important to me and I thought I should take it.

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We had a feeling the press was being too nice to Christian Bale yesterday, and lo and behold — TMZ started digging up incriminating stories about the actor. The latest incident, which occurred last week, comes from the set of Terminator 4:

During a scene, [the] director of cinematography screwed up a shot — at least in Christian's mind. We're told Bale went ballistic, screaming 'I will kick your ass' along with other choice remarks. Several hundred people heard the outburst — including Military Police — which was described as 'intense.'

TMZ could claim he punched a baby and we still wouldn't be mad at him. It's called unconditional love.

[Source]

SQUIDIOTS! KANYE AIN'T GOING TO NO FUCKING ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES! HOW COULD ANYBODY BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT?!!!!1!! WHAT, DID THE LOUD, CURSE-FILLED, UNTHINKING RANTS THE RAPPER SPEWS FORTH FORTNIGHTLY LEAD U 2 BELIEVE HE MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM APPROPRIATELY EXPRESSING HIS EMOTIONS???? WELL, LOL 2 U, DIPSHIT! U ACTUALLY THINK THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THAT SCREAMING AND YELLING SHIT?! UR CRAZY! IF ANYTHING, MOTHERFUCKER NEEDS 2 GET ANGRIER!

…the media is saying I'm going to anger management something or 'nother. I have never had any conversations about anger management. If anything, I need anger enhancement!! lol!

FUCK AN INTEREST IN WELL-BEING AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, FAM! ONE!

Charlie Sheen has apologized to "all [he] obviously offended" by calling his ex-wife, Denise Richards, a "fucking nigger" in a swear-heavy rant he left on her voicemail three years ago. Despite its age, Richards released the recording, in which Sheen also labels her a "fucking cunt," presumably because she is a spiteful, spiteful person.

Sheen sent out a special acknowledgment to Tony Todd, his black friend, best man for two weddings and THE Candyman. Sheen star offered no message of peace to cunts.

After the jump, a clip of the scariest yet greatest groomsman in the history of nuptials.

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For someone supposedly raised under the tolerant canopy of free love and unyielding peace, Joaquin Phoenix is oddly ornery.

Joaquin Phoenix…set a new standard for surliness with Time Out New York's Laura Leu the other day. When Leu asked by phone how he prepared for his role as a drug-addled nightclub manager in "We Own the Night," Phoenix responded, "I never prepare. I think that's completely overrated. It's a very simple job. All you have to do is . . . stand in the right spot and say the line. So I don't really believe in preparation."

He's actually right about that. Most "actors" are just posturing egoists who would starve if the world's trendy restaurants were shuttered. But then he gets downright rude.

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