We're packing up and calling it a day, partly because we enjoy time off, too, and partly because most of you lovely readers are off gallivanting around your hometowns in search of the perfect turkey for the big day. We'll be back after the holiday, but until then, warm wishes to you and yours.
Thank heavens for my old freshman year roommate, who saved me from my future Puppy Cam depression with this new link: Puppy Stalker. It's like the old puppy cam, but four times the fun, so you can be four times the slacker during work hours.
You're welcome.
The celebrities are evidently hibernating thanks to the descent of winter, so instead of boring you with news of Full House's Stephanie Tanner's divorce or Travis Barker's lawsuit against the makers of the plane that crashed a couple months ago or Jessica Simpson's lame reaction to becoming an aunt, here's a riveting video of a cat on a Roomba. Happy weekend!
In honor of Thanksgiving, Sarah Palin performed one of our favorite traditions, pardoning a turkey. That's great and heartwarming and all, until she conducts a post-pardon interview with turkeys being killed in the background. Fantastic.
Clip after the jump. CONTINUED »
Here we go, I'm just ripping the band-aid off as quickly and painlessly as possible: The puppy cam is ending. Take a minute, sit down, dry the tears from your eyes and get it together. We need to be strong during the puppies' final days. Apparently the precious bundles of joy are growing up and will be going to their new homes over the next few weeks, so mark your calendars: In less than a month, you can return to being productive at work instead of just blankly staring at your computer screen all day while letting out the occasional "Aww!"
Life will never be the same.
• That precious puppy cam is taking the world by storm. [DListed]
• Kanye West was arrested for assaulting a paparazzo. No, this isn't news from a couple months ago — it actually happened again. [INO]
• The Jonas Brothers make normal feuds sleep-inducing. Where are the train wrecks? [Yeeeah]
• Hilary Duff will be returning to our television screens in the near future. Well, at least she's no longer trying to sing. [ICYDK]
• Don't make a kissy face at us, Beyonce. [CityRag]
• Is it really necessary to show off this celebrity butt crack? [PS]
Barbara Walters released the names of some of her Most Fascinating People for 2008. Among the lucky losers are Will Smith (uh, why?), Tom Cruise (again, why?), Miley Cyrus, Tina Fey, Frank Langella, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Phelps. We agree with a few, but overall it looks to be another snoozefest.
After the jump: Mollygood's Most Fascinating People for 2008. Feel free to add to the list. CONTINUED »
• The world's ugliest dog has passed on to the great kennel in the sky. [DListed]
• Tim Robbins had polling problems on election day, but they were all his own damn fault. [Yeeeah]
• Janet Jackson is way too busy canceling her tour to have children. [INO]
• Brooke Hogan: Still classy. [HT]
• Who in the hell invited Tyra Banks to the Glamour Women of the Year ceremony? [PS]
• Christina Aguilera has some really unfortunate-looking bangs. [ICYDK]
Sadly, not everyone made it through election season with all of their senses intact. The View mediator Whoopi Goldberg issued a cry for help on today's show when she proceeded to read a letter to Barack Obama — "written" by her cat, Oliver. Barbara Walters voiced her concern, but Whoopi soldiered on, delivering a solid three minutes of awkwardness and uncomfortable giggles (skip to the 2:15 mark).
Someone needs a vacation.
• A live feed of puppies playing and sleeping in a box. It's one of the most adorable things we've ever seen. [DListed]
• Lisa Rinna admits to having too much work done on her face. Get out of town! Really? [INO]
• Helloooo Kate Hudson's brother. [ICYDK]
• Since when did Paris Hilton start morphing into Rebecca Romijn? [PS]
• An airline passenger was duct-taped to her seat after slapping a flight attendant on the rear and pulling a blind person's hair. Amy Winehouse? Is that you? [Yeeeah]
• Some bizarre photos of Lindsay Lohan from who knows when. [HT]
• This video of a cat trying to fit in a yogurt box is strangely captivating. [CityRag]
• Jennifer Aniston is reportedly pregnant with twins. Of course she is. [Yeeeah]
• Paris Hilton lost last night's presidential election. How did this happen?! [PS]
• Anne Hathaway's new boyfriend is about 500 steps up from her last. [INO]
• Hollywood's newest love muffin, Robert Pattinson: “I always get carried away when I’m kissing people. I just go nuts.” Swoon! [ICYDK]
• Tom Cruise plans to ruin Charlize Theron. [DListed]
This is quite possibly the most disgusting thing we've seen since the last batch of drugged-out Amy Winehouse photos cropped up a few weeks ago. Please don't view this if you are planning on eating in the near future — or if you like tiny little critters.
What is going on with Australia? We thought they were just fun-loving, rough-and-tumble party animals with a taste for bad beer, but we're quickly learning that perhaps the old saying holds true: once a nation of convicts, always a nation of convicts.
A month ago we told you about this kid, who broke into a zoo in the early morning and smashed reptiles to death with a rock before feeding them to a crocodile. Now, there's this:
CONTINUED »
For our readers fortunate enough to not be in the NYC area today, I'll give you a short summary of what the weather is currently like outside: Hell. It's freezing, windy and rainy (and my umbrella may or may not have imploded during my walk to Jossip HQ). Granted, I'm from Texas so anything below 60 degrees weirds me out, but the overwhelming majority opinion is that today is one of those days where you stay inside as much as possible.
Enter the PETA crazies, who heard that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen would be at a Manhattan Barnes & Noble to sign copies of their latest book. No amount of bad weather was going to keep these people from lining up outside in those dumb Trollsen masks and frightening passersby.
One insane person's personal account of the protest, after the jump. CONTINUED »
Ali and Dina Lohan ruined cats for everyone last night at Animal Fair Magazine's Halloween pet costume party in NYC. The 14-going-on-45-year-old strutted around in cat ears and a white mesh tank, which … no. Just no.
Forget the animals for a second — is there some sort of charity that can benefit the Lohans and buy them some anonymity and/or class? CONTINUED »
• Because you can never have too many heartwarming tales involving animals. [DListed]
• Something's off with Nicole Richie's body proportions. [HT]
• Pink says she's "proud" to be mistaken for a lesbian: "I don’t care. I love to challenge people’s preconceptions." Fair enough. [Yeeeah]
• The "Izzie's getting killed off of Grey's Anatomy!" rumors are making a comeback. We're still on board with anything involving less Katherine Heigl. [ICYDK]
• Jennifer Aniston sinks her claws back into Gerard Butler. Why can't everyone just leave G.But alone? [PS]
• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have a rule stating they can't go more than a week without seeing each other. It's similar to Paris' other rule that she can't go a day without being photographed. [INO]
A woman spent $3 million dollars on a Superbowl ad in hopes of catching the perfect beer-gut slouch of a husband. You can tell that Amy Borkowsky here is desperate because she describes her age as "somewhere between Carrie and Samantha," and also refers to dating as "a game," meaning she's read that Neil Strauss book from front to back.
• By popular demand: The other clip of Sarah Palin's Saturday Night Live appearance. [Yeeeah]
• Jennifer Aniston is reportedly pregnant with John Mayer's baby. We'll wait until the National Enquirer confirms this before we believe it. [INO]
• Guy Ritchie on sex with Madonna: It's like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle." [CityRag]
• Tara Reid reminds us of the dangers of too much plastic surgery. [ICYDK]
• Suri Cruise tries to make a run for it after Tom forces her to pose for pictures. What a dad. [DListed]
• Dakota Fanning performed with her high school cheerleading squad over the weekend while her new movie debuted at the box office. Just like us! [PS]
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