Sean Avery attempted to apologize for his now infamous "sloppy seconds" comment, but he might as well have been speaking in another language, because it's not going to do any good:

I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were.

I caused unnecessary embarrassment to my peers as well as people I have been close with in the past. As many of you know, I like to mix it up on and off the ice from time to time, but understand that this time I took it too far.

Next time, Sean, try to make it sound less like something the league spoon-fed you. Or, you know, you could abstain from making comments that send everyone into an inexplicable tizzy. Your choice.

[Source]

Shia LaBeouf, the young arriviste who talks like a street tough but looks like a Hebrew camp counselor, says he is "embarrassed" by a video that has recently surfaced showing him calling some dude a "faggot" and asking to be slapped.

Of course, he didn't actually say he was embarrassed, but his publicist did, and those people are pretty much the Jiminy Crickets of Hollywood.

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Raz B, the 22-year-old who recently alleged his former boy band's manager had molested him and other members of B2K, is today recanting his statements in a grainy YouTube video. It's the shadiest, most-bought-offiest apology we've ever seen.